5/10(Sat.) The Book 好人也該擁有好人生 (Host: Gavin)

[bill]

Hello everybody:

Do you think life is unfair? You try so hard to be a nice person, but do you find it rewarding? Is saying “No” so difficult that it is called a type of art?

Recently, I browsed the best seller list. “A Nice Person Should Also Have a Nice Life” may be the answers to your questions. I have translated two passages which I considered the most interesting as below.

1. Are You Available Today?
If you can’t find anyone to have a meal together, the reason is usually related to time management.

Modern people are very self-determined. Those who value time well usually make plans in advance; they can hardly ever join you when you call unexpectedly. Thus, if you would like to have gatherings with friends, you’d better make appointments early enough. Do not ask a friend out today with no notification beforehand.

A sophisticated friend of mine says vividly, “I can’t be present whenever someone calls me. If I can, my social status doesn’t appear active. It would seem like I am so bored at home waiting for his call. Therefore, even if I am actually bored, I will not easily say ‘Yes’ to friends’ invitations.”

It takes wisdom to ask “Are you available today?” People who are able to join you whenever you call do not attach importance to life schemes. As the saying goes, birds of a feather flock together. Those people would dampen their friends’ life quality. It would be a pity to waste your time by making no plans.

How will you arrange your next holiday? No matter you want to spend time alone or gather friends, making preparations promptly is always right. Make appointments soon enough will avail yourself and show respect to your friends.



2. Interpersonal relations need to be controlled
At 5 o’clock in the afternoon, the supervisor came to Maggie and said “Maggie, please help me to deal with this case urgently.” In Maggie’s heart, she really wished to refuse; however, she somehow took the case and gently said “OK”. Then, as she worked overtime, she was angry at herself.

On the contrary, her colleague, Tommy, had combed his hair and been ready to get off work. Everybody knows his schedules every day. He always has class and appointments. Therefore, regarding working overtime, people hardly consider requesting him.

Maggie must have complaints. However, now that she knows working overtime is a torture, why doesn’t she just refuse? She said, “I am too kind to refuse”; furthermore, she said “Anyway, I have nothing to do if I go home so early.”

With Maggie’s attitude, she has given people a concept that she can help at all times. In addition, she doesn’t set any control in her interpersonal relations. Conversely, Tommy is the complete opposite.

Which kind of person do you want to be? Maggie or Tommy? If you want to have good interpersonal relationships and not maltreat yourself, you must implement “traffic control”. You should initially let people know when they can ask for your help and when they shouldn’t bother you.



Session 1:
1. When friends unexpectedly invite you to do something, will you pretend to be busy in order to make your social status seem more active?

2. How would you successfully make a sudden invitation?

3. Please describe how you will make appointments with friends for next holiday.



Session 2:
It’s role-playing time.
1. Imagine a situation in which you would be reluctant to accept someone’s request.

2. Demonstrate a good result from setting “traffic control”.


3. Demonstrate a bad result from setting “traffic control”.

4. Tell people the criteria for which you should set control or not in such case.



Agenda
Session I:
2:15 ~ 2:30 Greeting / Ordering Drinks & Beverage
2:30 ~ 2:40 Introduction
2:40 ~ 3:00 Group Discussion
3:00 ~ 3:20 Presentation
3:20 ~ 3:30 Break
Session II:
3:30 ~ 3:35 Instructions
3:35 ~ 4:00 Group Preparation
4:00 ~ 4:30 Show time
4:30 ~ 4:40 Newcomers’ Feedback. Announcements




聚會時間：2008/5/10 (星期六) 請準時。聚會2:15 pm 到 ~ 約 4:30 pm 左右結束
聚會地點：田中園 B1 (請先告知櫃檯參加YOYO活動並點餐)
地址: 北市南京東路三段303巷14弄2號
電話: 02-27181910
捷運站: 木柵線 南京東路站
走法: 出捷運南京東路站後, 順著慶城街直走 1分鐘到 "Hooters" 時, 右轉直走 50 公尺到"里豆咖啡"時, 左轉後第一條巷子再右轉走10公尺即到達 "田中園"
地圖link:http://tw.lifestyle.yahoo.com/ ... eb926bf788
低消: 90 元



給新朋友的話：
1. 請事先準備2~3分鐘的英語自我介紹；討論完畢後可能會請你發表1~2分鐘的感想(feedback)。
2. 請事先閱讀討論主題相關內容以及host所提的問題，並事先寫下自己所欲發表意見的英文。
3. 來之前請先讀一下討論主題，思考一下如何回答及討論。
4. 在正式加入之前（繳交可退還之保證金NT$1,000)，可以先來觀摩三次。

[Katrina]

It's really an interesting topic. I like to have my time scheduled and complete things one by one followed my schedule.
There's a little sense of achievement inside.
I'll join the meeting.
However, it's weird that Bill is the poster and Gavin is the host.
What's the relationship between you two??

[Kooper]

It's really an interesting topic. I like to have my time scheduled and complete things one by one followed my schedule.
There's a little sense of achievement inside.
I'll join the meeting.
However, it's weird that Bill is the poster and Gavin is the host.
What's the relationship between you two??

Let me try to answer your question for Gavin and Bill. There is something wrong with Gavin's account, which prevents him from viewing and posting on the forum. So he asked Bill to post it for him. In addition to brotherly love, is there anything going on between them? Beats Me!

[gavintsai]

Thank Bill for posting my article and thank Katrina for participation.
Especially, thank Kooper for helping me to get a new account which has enabled me to post again.

Besides,
The viewpoints in this book are really worth reading.
If you are insterested, the book information is as below.
Book Name：好人也該擁有好人生
Author：吳若權
Issue Date：Jan. 28, 2008

Welcome to join the meeting and let's have a happy time together.

Gavin


P.S. I am amazed by Katrina and Kooper's insight.
Let me admit everything now.
Jenny is my big wife and Bill is my little secret wife.
Accordingly, Salina is my romance enemy; I will take Bill back from Salina in this life or the next.

[technobabel]

What do you mean by "好人"?
Do you mean a do-gooder or a pushover?

Do-gooder - a well-intentioned but naive or impractical person

Pushover - a person, team, etc., that is easily taken advantage of or defeated



Come out Virginia, don't let me wait
You Catholic girls start much too late
aw But sooner or later it comes down to fate
I might as well be the one

well, They showed you a statue, told you to pray
They built you a temple and locked you away
Aw, but they never told you the price that you pay
For things that you might have done.....
Only the good die young
thats what i said
only the good die young x2

You might have heard I run with a dangerous crowd
We ain't too pretty we ain't too proud
We might be laughing a bit too loud
aw But that never hurt no one

So come on Virginia show me a sign
Send up a signal I'll throw you the line
The stained-glass curtain you're hiding behind
Never lets in the sun
Darlin' only the good die young
woah
i tell ya
only the good die young x2

You got a nice white dress and a party on your confirmation
You got a brand new soul
mmmm, And a cross of gold
But Virginia they didn't give you quite enough information
You didn't count on me
When you were counting on your rosary
(oh woah woah)

They say there's a heaven for those who will wait
Some say it's better but I say it ain't
I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints
the Sinners are much more fun...

you know that only the good die young
oh woah baby
i tell ya
only the good die young, X2


You say your mother told you all that I could give you was a reputation
Aww She never cared for me
But did she ever say a prayer for me? oh woah woah

Come out come out come out virgina dont let me wait,
You catholic girls start much too late
Sooner or later it comes down to fate
I might as well be the one,
You know that only the good die young

I'm telling you baby
You know that only the good die young
Only the good die young
Only the gooooooooooooooood
Only the good die young
Only the gooooooooooooooood
Only the good die young
Ooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooo oooooooooo...

[Luis Ko]

i happened to read an article the other day says acting an asshole is the only way to make it big..
actually i'm still wondering if it's right. it might be justifiable, though it sounds quite harsh. and it seems polar opposite to the article we are going to discuss but, i think it also reflects something relevant to the article that would happen in our life which are worth discussing. anyway just offer another concept to discuss lo.

http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life ... 662842.ece

[Rock]

Yep, we do have this Chinese proverb saying "A good guy doesn't live long, but a evil-doer can last for thousands of years". Does that make any sense?

[Georgia]

hmmm.... How do we define a "good person"?
I'm not evil, but I dare not claim to be good. That's a huge responsibility.
There are more and more people who I believe are non-kind nor wicked, 善惡之外者. Sometimes I can be one of them.
These people perhaps could live 500 years then, hahaha...

[gavintsai]

What do you mean by "好人"?
Do you mean a do-gooder or a pushover?

Do-gooder - a well-intentioned but naive or impractical person

Pushover - a person, team, etc., that is easily taken advantage of or defeated

Hi, Wayne:

There are many chapters in the book. The book refers to both do-gooder and pushover.

After reading it, you will know how to really be a nice person (making real benefits for right people and not maltreating yourself)

Gavin

[gavintsai]

i happened to read an article the other day says acting an asshole is the only way to make it big..
actually i'm still wondering if it's right. it might be justifiable, though it sounds quite harsh. and it seems polar opposite to the article we are going to discuss but, i think it also reflects something relevant to the article that would happen in our life which are worth discussing. anyway just offer another concept to discuss lo.

http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life ... 662842.ece

Hi, Luis:

I think it is worth discussing how to be this kind of asshole who can make it big.

Please share your opinions with everybody in the meeting. Thanks.

Gavin

[gavintsai]

Yep, we do have this Chinese proverb saying "A good guy doesn't live long, but a evil-doer can last for thousands of years". Does that make any sense?

Ha, I think it makes senses in some perspectives.
A good guy usually has a weary heart that is full of responsibilities.
On the other hand, an evil-doer can be care-free.

However, in some other perspectives, this proverb could be wrong.
We may discuss about the criteria in the meeting.

Looking forward to hearing about your ideas.

Gavin

[gavintsai]

hmmm.... How do we define a "good person"?
I'm not evil, but I dare not claim to be good. That's a huge responsibility.
There are more and more people who I believe are non-kind nor wicked, 善惡之外者. Sometimes I can be one of them.
These people perhaps could live 500 years then, hahaha...

Hi, Georgia:

You really have a point. An all-time nice person and an all-time evil one might both die soon.

I'd be glad to hear about your way to live 500 years.

Gavin

[technobabel]

What do you mean by "好人"?
Do you mean a do-gooder or a pushover?

Do-gooder - a well-intentioned but naive or impractical person

Pushover - a person, team, etc., that is easily taken advantage of or defeated

Hi, Wayne:

There are many chapters in the book. The book refers to both do-gooder and pushover.

After reading it, you will know how to really be a nice person (making real benefits for right people and not maltreating yourself)

Gavin

This book 好人也該擁有好人生 sounds just like this book in Amazon.com

http://www.amazon.com/No-More-Mr-Nice-Guy/dp/0762415339

So, more accurately, 好人 = Nice Guy.
So, the question becomes, how nice can you afford to be? and...
When does being too nice to others becomes too cruel to yourself?
http://www.meetyourgreens.com/niceguysyndrome.html

[Luis Ko]

A nice guy is tactful always trying not to say or do anything that could upset someone but, on the other hand, they might somehow subconsciously make themselves upset.. i think i'm sort of a nice guy, but not that nice haa

[Kooper]

Needless to say, arranging things beforehand is of great benefit to us; however, I’m reluctant to embrace the idea that I should reject any unexpected invitation from friends even when available or bored so as to make my social life seem more active. Such kind of notion completely ignores the fact that human’s mood is capricious in nature. How can you foresee when you or your friends will be in a foul mood or trouble and in desperate need of help, advice, or comfort? I wonder what a friend is for if they are not present when being needed.