7/23(Wed.) Should You Marry? (Host:Rico)

[rico]

Should You Marry?
As you know I Just got married this year, now I m going to ask you
Should You marry?

The question - that should you propose marriage, or should you say yes to his/her proposal haunts many of you in relationships. When should you marry? What are the pre-requisites for that? Let us find out.

The first need, of course, is that both of you love each other. It should not be infatuation or plain old lust, but love. To be in love means, you like to be with that person. You enjoy his/her togetherness. You care for her/him and you can trust that person. Being in love means that you can share your deepest secrets without fear and give and expect support. Being in love means that your object of love is the most important person in your life and you would not like to leave him/her for anybody else. If any of these conditions are not met, it is not love but something else. Oh, yes, one last requirement - your heart should pound every time you talk to your loved or look at him/her.

If you are in love and if your partner reciprocates it with the same intensity then the next would be interests. What is common between both of you? If he is a liberal and you are a conservative to the core, life would be a little difficult. We are not talking in political terms, but about attitude and values. If you do not value what he/she values, your relationship will not prosper. If your values say that you must be honest at all times, and his/her values allow lies now and then, you are sure to get into a conflict after some time.

The third requirement is life goals. Are you sharing common goals? Your goal may be to earn lot of money even at the cost of family life and his/her need may be to live happily even if money is less, you will again clash. Values and goals are important. They play a bigger role in life after the initial euphoria of love is over. The last need is - are you feeling safe committing to him/her? Are you feeling safe committing or would like to search around more? Once you can decide that all these are in the right place, you should marry. Otherwise, life may be full of acrimony, dissatisfaction and regrets. It will not be a happy marriage but a marriage that has to be carried through. That will give no pleasure.

Session 1
1 Have you seen the movie ‘’SEX AND THE CITY’’ the bridegroom Mr. BIG escaped just before their wedding . What may make you escape from you wedding?
2 What is the main reason that makes you get married?
3 what is the difficulties must be overcome before marriage or wedding?
Session 2
1 How will you propose to your lover?
2 will you set any rules or contracts before marriage?
3 How will you hold your wedding? Include the ceremony, honeymoon, wedding photos

Agenda:
18:45 or earlier The host (and guests) arriving at the meeting place
18:45 ~ 19:00 Greetings and free talk among members and guests /recording individual orders/getting newcomers' information
19:00 sharp Beginning of the meeting
19:00 ~ 19:10 Opening remarks/ newcomers self-introduction of /grouping

(Session 1)
19:10 ~ 19:40 First discussion session
19:40 ~ 19:50 First summarization
19:50 ~ 20:00 Regrouping and taking a break (Intermission)

(Session 2)
20:10 ~ 20:40 Second discussion session
20:40 ~ 20:50 Second summarization
20:50 ~ 21:00 Concluding remarks/feedback from newcomers/ announcements


聚會時間：2008/7/23 (星期三) 請準時 18:45 到 ~ 約 21:00 pm 左右結束
聚會地點：日安。KAFFA 北市南京東路三段303巷24號 (02)2719-7895
捷運南京東路站（木柵線）
走法: 出捷運南京東路站後, 順著慶城街直走 3 分鐘到 "萊爾富便利超商" 時, 右轉直走 30 公尺即可看到 "日安。KAFFA"

[Chantal]

what an interesting topic !
well, I guess married people do think about marriage in different ways with people who hasn't married.
anyway, I would choose to experience a marriage since if I don't experience once, how could I know what marriage really looks like to me !
I am that kind of person who never cry until see a coffin

[technobabel]

I can't think of a song that is more suitable for this topic.
Even though most of you probably have heard this song too many times.
With the topic as the mental backdrop, I am sure this song will make even more senses.

[Kooper]

I can't think of a song that is more suitable for this topic.
Even though most of you probably have heard this song too many times.
With the topic as the mental backdrop, I am sure this song will make even more senses.

I especially like below lines of lyrics. However, I doubt if they are strong enough to wake up those who insist on being single.

Freedom, ah, freedom
That's just some people talking
Your prison is walking thru this world all alone

By the way, how to say 不婚族 in English?

[Kooper]

what an interesting topic !
well, I guess married people do think about marriage in different ways with people who hasn't married.
anyway, I would choose to experience a marriage since if I don't experience once, how could I know what marriage really looks like to me !
I am that kind of person who never cry until see a coffin

Hi Chantal,
Welcome back! Will you show up tomorrow?
Since you are the one who chose to experience marriage, we definitely want to hear your voice on it.

[Chantal]

well, I am not the only person who is experiencing a marriage
I just know that I don't regret that I got married even though there are some disadvantages, like I can't hang out with other guys anymore
then, the most thing I can do is to giving more efforts on my career. that is, I concentrate on working after being married. well, to have some achievement on work is important for me somehow. Actually, I am more like a man in mental

[technobabel]

Should you try to get married? That is the question.
It is a bit different from the original title.
The original title makes the decision to get married sounds like the decision to wear shoes.
The answer to the question "should you wear shoes?" is just too painfully obvious.
A carefully worded question will help us zero-in on the problem more precisely.
That way we can be on a more thought provoking path.
If you can't find a pair of shoes that fits comfortably, should you stay bare-footed?

[Wayne]

marry為一及物動詞 因此Should You Marry的動詞marry需一受詞 不可直接翻譯 中文裡動詞"結婚"則毋需受詞

那麼在英文中用get married來解決受詞的問題Shou You Get Married

另外"我結婚了" 的英文說法 也可以提出來說明討論
1. 如果你的意含是"結婚"這個動作 (辦喜事)那麼你應該說 I got married.
2. 如果你的意含是表達"結婚"的狀態(已婚的狀態) 那麼你應該說 I am married.

如果你看到聽到 I have married. 你現在知道這是錯誤的

marry做為主動形式 必須加上受詞 即 嫁娶的對項 主詞通常就是新郎新娘 但是也有一種情形例外：使某人嫁或娶某人時(mary somebody to somebody) (例如父親想把女兒嫁給某有為青年) 若想嫁"掉"給某人 還可以說marry somebody off to somebody

另外 牧師"主持婚禮" 也用marry

marry比喻的用法：使某事物與另一事物"結合" 在一起marry something with something例:
They've devised a menu that marries traditional ingredients and modern tastes. 他們設計出一份結合傳統成份與現代口味的菜單{MACMILLAN}

請注意此處的介系詞用with 一般說嫁或娶了某人 (在表達狀態時)介系詞用to 例如Claire is married to Wayne.

西湖月老祠 集句聯：
願天下有情人都成了眷屬；（琵琶記句）
是前生註定事莫錯過姻緣。（西廂記句）

{有誰來翻譯一下ㄚ?最好有對仗押韻)

[stephen185]

Should you try to get married? That is the question.
It is a bit different from the original title.
The original title makes the decision to get married sounds like the decision to wear shoes.
The answer to the question "should you wear shoes?" is just too painfully obvious.
A carefully worded question will help us zero-in on the problem more precisely.
That way we can be on a more thought provoking path.
If you can't find a pair of shoes that fits comfortably, should you stay bare-footed?

I guess what might be more difficult to answer is "If you are wearing a pair of shoes that doesn't fit comfortably, should you find a new pair of shoes?"

[technobabel]

Should you try to get married? That is the question.
It is a bit different from the original title.
The original title makes the decision to get married sounds like the decision to wear shoes.
The answer to the question "should you wear shoes?" is just too painfully obvious.
A carefully worded question will help us zero-in on the problem more precisely.
That way we can be on a more thought provoking path.
If you can't find a pair of shoes that fits comfortably, should you stay bare-footed?

I guess what might be more difficult to answer is "If you are wearing a pair of shoes that doesn't fit comfortably, should you find a new pair of shoes?"

Old shoes are known for their sentimental value.
It is unlikely for shoes to become uncomfortable overnight.
You should do something before it becomes too uncomfortable.
Besides, it may not be that easy to find new shoes for old feet.

[Wayne]

俗語一則 與大家分享

“If the shoe fits, wear it”. 當某種情境跟實際狀況相符合時，就接受現實(承認)吧！

[Wayne]

俗語一則 與大家分享

“If the shoe fits, wear it”. 當某種情境跟實際狀況相符合時，就接受現實(承認)吧！

"If The Love Fits, Wear It" by Leslie Pearl 一首好聽的歌
http://blog.xuite.net/janemin/blog/4664696

[Luis Ko]

marry為一及物動詞 因此Should You Marry的動詞marry需一受詞 不可直接翻譯 中文裡動詞"結婚"則毋需受詞..


maybe it's not common, i don't know, but, i found that marry can be also used as intransitive verb, no need to have any object followed.

ex.
Men tend to marry later than women.
They don't have any plans to marry at present.
She married young (=at a young age).

[Wayne]

marry為一及物動詞 因此Should You Marry的動詞marry需一受詞 不可直接翻譯 中文裡動詞"結婚"則毋需受詞..


maybe it's not common, i don't know, but, i found that marry can be also used as intransitive verb, no need to have any object followed.

ex.
Men tend to marry later than women.
They don't have any plans to marry at present.
She married young (=at a young age).

Luis, you are absolutely right. The verb "marry" does have an intransitive use. I stand corrected.

[Wayne]

Three quotations to think about:

By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. -- Socrates

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. -- Sacha Guitry
{Sacha Guitry (21 February 1885 – 24 July 1957) was a French film actor, director, screenwriter and playwright.}

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. -- David Bissonette