8/12 (Tue.) Letting Go vs. Giving Up (Host: Iris Sr.)

[Iris Wu]

A while ago, I posted an article about letting go in a YoYo subgroup. As usual, our ever-skeptical Luis asked a question: “Isn’t letting go just another way of saying giving up? To let go, you’ll need to give up first.” Honestly, I had my doubts too.

That curiosity led me to dig a little deeper, and to my surprise, I found that this question has been widely explored. The internet is full of witty quotes and short video clips on the subject.
While there are certainly spiritual or religious dimensions to this topic, it can also be approached from a completely secular perspective. For this meeting, I’ve included two relevant video talks as reference materials—one from a Buddhist point of view, and the other from a non-religious perspective.

I’ve intentionally kept the main discussion questions short and straightforward. However, please read the notes and hints provided with each question before the meeting—they're there to help guide your thinking and enrich our discussion.

Reference Materials
1) Search “Letting go vs. Giving up” on YouTube short clips.
2) Why “Letting Go” is So Hard
https://youtu.be/NtGYXDYhKCc?si=1WFnW2lFfr4pFUK9 (6:00 – 14:00)
(Non-religious) Book Summary: “Living Untethered”
https://youtu.be/Z5drmShJvas?si=5CJWcI36UDsU4RFd (1:00– 9:30)
3) (Optional) 10 Heavy Things We Always Wait Too Long to Let Go of in Life
https://www.marcandangel.com/2025/07/28 ... should-be/
4) (Optional) Do Your Best, Then Let Go | Psychology Today
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog ... hen-let-go

Questions
Session I: Letting Go vs. Giving Up vs. Grit
1) Are “letting go” and “giving up” the same thing to you?
(Note: What are your definitions of “letting go” and “giving up”? Try searching “Letting Go vs. Giving Up” short clips on YouTube. Which definitions feel closest to your own? Can you share any personal experience or example to support your thoughts?)

2) Can grit and letting go coexist? When it comes to success in life, which one matters more?
(Notes: We’ve previously discussed the book Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance. “Grit” is described as a blend of passion and persistence—the secret to outstanding achievement.
Scale AI’s CEO, Alexander Wang values the trait of internal locus of control (ILC) https://youtube.com/shorts/XUAsKx1uo_A? ... VVIEHc37My : a mindset of taking ownership of success/failure.
Do you see any tension between the concepts (Grit & ILC) and the idea of letting go?

3) What do you think about the advice in this video?
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DMtk3NYs ... JoazByc3lz
Notes: This short video about the sunk cost fallacy encourages people to walk away from toxic relationships or bad investments.
But if someone knew it was toxic or failing, wouldn’t they likely walk away already? What do you see as the limitations of this advice? What kind of guidance would be more helpful in real-life situations?

Session II: Suffering and Solutions
4) What are the inner voice and clinging, and how do they contribute to our suffering?
Hints: In the two video talks, pain is described as part of life—something we can’t avoid (e.g., illness, failure, bruised ego). But suffering is often the second arrow—our reaction to pain, such as self-judgment, shame, or resentment.
Do you agree that pain and suffering can be separated?
Do you believe the inner voice—the constant narrator in your mind—is not the real “you”?

5) How do we ease, alleviate, mitigate, and soothe our suffering? How does the right practice of letting go help the process? Would you like to share some examples?
Notes: The teachings in the videos suggest that the issue isn’t the object we hold on to—it’s the clinging itself.
The key isn’t to resist pain or block it out, but to become aware of our clinging— to the stories and emotional reactions created by the inner voice. Can awareness alone—being the observer of your thoughts and emotions—be enough to help you “drop the hot coal” in your life?

6) Is letting go really such a big deal? What are your thoughts, and how would you like to conclude this subject?
Looking at your own life, what percentage do you think you’ve already let go of well?
And what percentage are you still holding on to—mentally, emotionally, or even physically?
But here’s the twist: could this be an 80/20 trap? Are you spending 80% of your time and energy on the 20% you haven’t let go of? How far are we from the optimal balance?

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Agenda:
6:45 ~ 7:00pm Greetings & Free Talk / Ordering Beverage or Meal / Getting Newcomer’s Information
7:00 ~ 7:10pm Opening Remarks / Newcomer’s Self-introduction / Grouping
(Session I)
7:10 ~ 7:45pm Discussion Session (35 mins)
7:45 ~ 8:00pm Summarization (15 mins)
8:00 ~ 8:05pm Regrouping / Instruction Giving / Taking a 5 Minutes Break (Intermission)
(Session II)
8:05 ~ 8:40pm Discussion Session (35 mins)
8:40 ~ 8:55pm Summarization (15 mins)
8:55 ~ 9:00pm Concluding Remarks / Announcements

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Meeting Date: As shown on the Subject Line
Meeting Time: 7:00pm – 9:00pm
Meeting Venue: 丹堤咖啡 Dante Coffee (Minimum Order $85)
Address: 台北市濟南路三段25號[MAP]-捷運忠孝新生站3號出口步行3分鐘

Important Notes:
1. We suggest that participants read the articles and think about the questions in advance.
2. Newcomers should prepare a two-to-three-minute self-introduction in English to deliver when called upon by the host before the start of the discussion.
3. We welcome newcomers and other guests to attend the meetings and join the discussion freely for three times. After that, we hope you will consider becoming a YoYo English Club member. We charge a NT$1000 lifetime membership fee, or NT$500 for students.

[Sherry Liao]

I'm not really the deep-thinking type, so this soul-searching topic is really hard for me to tackle. I tried watching the recommended video clips, but they were even more confusing than my old calculus textbook. After watching them, I still had no idea how to answer these questions.

I gave it some thought (with the few brain cells I could gather), and here's my take: if I skip tomorrow's meeting, that's "Giving Up." But if I show up and say something that sounds meaningful but even I don't understand it, that's probably "Letting Go."

Honestly, I'm not sure if I got the idea right, but at least I tried…

[Iris Wu]

When I was working, pondering the meaning of life, soul-searching, and pursuing self-improvement felt like luxury activities. Back then, “ignorance is bliss.” I couldn’t see — or expect — that psychology might possibly offer tangible solutions to my everyday challenges.

It’s amusing how the world is full of different kinds of people. I’ve never been fond of math or physics; the most advanced equation I’ve ever needed is “don’t divide by zero.” For me, that’s another kind of blessed ignorance.

I think knowing ourselves and walking away from what doesn’t serve us is an ability. Some people are born with it; others have to cultivate it. Whether you call it the ability to let go or to give up matters less than being able to enjoy our ignorance — and sleep just fine without that piece of knowledge or achievement.

[Luis Ko]

"Letting go is surrendering any needless attachments to particular outcomes and situations."
"Letting go isn’t passive or an act of defeat. Instead, there is wisdom that comes with removing our hand from a doorknob that won’t open"

Can’t I say removing our hand from a doorknob that won’t open is giving it up?
Can’t I say surrendering any needless attachments is giving it up?

Both of them say letting go is not giving up, but didn’t really tell the differences. It seems to me they are just trying to find something to give letting go the connotation of positivity value in our life, especially letting go must be let go of in Buddhism’s explanation that’s even way beyond it, whereas, giving up is of no such value.

At the end of the day, what’s the real difference?? Guess it does't matter whether it's leting go or giving up. Mentality is the key I would say.

[Iris Wu]

I think we can summarize and clarify some terminology this way:

Pain: Preparing to host the meeting.

Clinging / Craving / Attachment:
Hoping the meeting would be well-received by everyone.

Inner voice:
Sherry said she was confused… Rock didn’t show up…
Then the spiral begins: “Maybe the content was lousy… Maybe I’m not good at presenting…”
These thoughts only make me feel worse and deepen the suffering.

Giving up:
“Whatever. I don’t care if Rock shows up or not."
"I’ll never meet Sherry’s irrational standards. Forget about it!”

Letting go:
I notice my anxiety and my attachment to how things “should” turn out.
I made myself the observer of those inner voices: I acknowledge my emotions, my effort in preparing, and my limitations in presenting the logic, the examples, the content, and the broader philosophical aspects of letting go. Sherry’s comments and Rock’s absence? They’re okay with me.

[Julian]

This topic really resonates with me.
Unfortunately, my father in a hospital in Chiayi needed me there, so I couldn’t just return to Taipei on Tuesday night for Iris’s meeting as planned. What a pity.
I suppose this is more about “letting go” than “giving up” …

[Iris Wu]

This topic really resonates with me.
Unfortunately, my father in a hospital in Chiayi needed me there, so I couldn’t just return to Taipei on Tuesday night for Iris’s meeting as planned. What a pity.
I suppose this is more about “letting go” than “giving up” …

I just noticed this comment. I’m so sorry to hear that your father was in the hospital — I hope he’s doing better now.
Yeah, for this case, I will certainly "let go of" your absence from my meeting, but I won't give up on you.
Hope to see you again soon.