4/25(Wed.) Surrogacy & Dates (Host: Robert)
發表於 : 週一 4月 23, 2012 2:15 pm
Hello, everyone. We are going to discuss two issues tonight: surrogacy & dates. I know they are two different issues, but just try to make you different in moods. Let’s talk and relax!
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Carrying 'Dreams': Why Women Become Surrogates
Surrogacy is an idea as old as the biblical story of Sarah and Abraham in the book of Genesis. Sarah was infertile, so Abraham fathered children with the couple's maid. Today, there are many more options for people who want to grow their families — and for the would-be surrogates who want to help.
Macy Widofsky, 40, is eager to be a surrogate.
"I have very easy pregnancies. All three times have been flawlessly healthy, and I wanted to repeat the process," she says, "and my husband and I won't be having more children of our own."
Widofsky sits in the lobby of a fertility clinic in Reston, Va., where she's being tested to find out if she's a good candidate. Surrogacy runs in her family: Her mother was a surrogate when Widofsky was 12, and the experience left a mark.
"I was very impressed then that she was willing to help a family out this way, and I didn't realize at the time how uncommon that was," she says.
Widofsky's mom did what's called "compassionate" surrogacy, meaning she wasn't paid. Some women do it for family or a friend. Today, though, most surrogates get between $20,000 and $25,000 to bear a child for someone else.
Why One Surrogate Wanted To Help
Whitney and Ray Watts are the parents of 3-year-old J.P. Whitney carried twins for Susan and Bob de Gruchy.
"To me, being a surrogate — it's like you're carrying someone else's dreams," she says.
That's part of what could make some people scratch their head. After all, it's easier to believe that a woman would give up a child from her womb for money rather than a desire to help.
Whitney, 25, says her parents went through infertility nightmares, and that gave her determination to help someone make a family. She says she didn't think about bonding with the baby.
"It was [in vitro fertilization]. It was their embryos," she says. "You just know they are not yours. You're just keeping them for a time to let them grow and then give them back to their parents, because they were never my babies. It's just my uterus that's keeping them."
Not Doing It For The Money
Sitting next to each other, 27-year-old Ray looks adoringly at his wife; they finish each other's sentences when they speak. The Wattses say they were looking for a couple they could connect with.
"It was very important to us to have a relationship with them," Whitney says. "Yes, it's a business contract in a sense, but it's so much more than that." Her husband agrees.
"Had Susan and Bob just wanted to pay money and get a kid, that would have been a deal breaker right away," he says.
The Watts say the health of the pregnancy — and ultimately of the twins — relied on the relationship developed by the couples.
Crystal and John Andrews live in Bel Air, Md., with their three kids. They are done building their family, but Crystal wants to be pregnant again. She says she feels "special" when she's pregnant. She decided to become a surrogate, and her family is onboard.
She says explaining surrogacy to her children wasn't hard.
"Ms. Becky wanted to bake a pie," she told them, "and she had all the ingredients. She got her pie together, went to put it in the oven, and her oven was broken."
Are You Doing Good If You're Getting Paid?
The issue of money, though, is real. It makes some people feel uneasy because motherhood is not typically financially compensated. Whitney Watts says she looked into compassionate surrogacy — doing it for free — but it didn't feel right.
"I would do compassionate [surrogacy] for a friend, but not for someone I don't know, through an agency," she says. "It wouldn't feel appropriate ... because you don't know what you are going to do until you get there."
Whitney says she didn't want to put her family through financial stress. As it turned out, she spent 55 days on bed rest at the hospital.
Elaine Gordon, a clinical psychologist in Los Angeles, counsels couples on family-building, including surrogacy, and on the issue of payment.
"I think people automatically feel that if money is involved then there is no altruism involved, and that's not necessarily true," she says. "We are all compensated for the work we do, and we still want to do good work even though we are compensated."
Gordon says many surrogates tell her the experience of having a child for someone else is so powerful that they want to do it again.
Cited from http://www.npr.com
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Women’s worst dates
By Marcia Jedd
Want to feel more confident about your past dating blunders? Here are some of the worst dates women have experienced.
1. The discount doctor
Cecily, 38, met a physician at a holiday party. On the first date, he took her to a Japanese restaurant and paid for dinner using a two-for-one coupon. The second date, he took her to the same place... and once again, he used a coupon. “On our third date — which I probably shouldn’t have gone on, but he made me laugh — he conveniently forgot his wallet in his sports car,” recalls Cecily.
2. The guy that couldn’t go the distance
Rhonda, 20, was excited to rent a nice car to drive on her visit with her long-distance boyfriend on his birthday — especially since they hadn’t seen each other in two months. She accompanied him on errands, they saw what he referred to as a “strangler movie,” and later, during dinner at a nice restaurant, he admitted to infidelity and begged for her forgiveness. Rhonda obliged — and then he called the next day and broke things off with her anyway. “That was a total date from hell,” she says... and we agree.
3. The invisible third wheel
Susan, 39, went on a date with a man who couldn’t stop gushing about another woman. “He talked a lot about a lady friend of his, their emotional bond, and he even admitted the woman was married and lived in another country,” she recalls. In fact, he talked about this mystery woman the whole night, much to Susan’s dismay. “It was obvious he was more comfortable with his quasi-fantasy relationship with her than face-to-face dating with me.”
4. The well-suited suitor
Sarah, 33, was impressed when her date Phil told her how much his suit cost. “Later, we were at a nice restaurant when I reached over him to grab a napkin and accidentally spilled the entire glass of shrimp cocktail all over his chest and lap,” she admits, thoroughly embarrassed. Luckily, this one still had a happy ending: Phil did ask Sarah out again.
5. The man who needed no introductions
Mindy, 36, wasn’t excited to go on a second date with one guy. Unfortunately, her gut instincts about him were confirmed when they attended a barbecue together that was hosted by her friends. The two were surprised when they walked into the party and he knew most of the guests — including Mindy’s best friend, who had briefly dated him in the past. “I had too much information on him from my friend’s description of dating him before,” reveals Mindy.
6. The guy who fell through the (unnecessary) cracks
Monica, 40, knew she wasn’t interested in a man she met at a speed-dating event by the end of their first date. “He insisted twice on cracking my back after our goodbye hug,” Monica says, noting that she declined both of his subsequent offers (for a back adjustment and a second date) the next day.
7. The hunk who was out of tune with reality
Sheryl, 32, was thrilled when a hunky jock asked her out to a dinner theater production. The evening lost its luster when he sang off-key along with the musical production, though, as he was louder than the actors onstage. The last straw was his insistence at the end of the night to give Sheryl a “little kiss,” which she obliged. “It was the worst, sloppiest, saliva-filled kiss I ever hand in my entire life,” she asserts.
8. The manipu-date
Patty, 41, found her blind date likeable and agreed to go to another restaurant with him for a change of atmosphere. “He ran into his ex-girlfriend, and then left me at the table alone for 20 minutes to go chat with her. He came back and affectionately touched me, telling me to play along in front of her to make her jealous.” Patty said no and left — quickly!
9. The tact-free fibber
Julie, 39, knew when she first met her blind date that he must have lied about his age. That was enough for her, though that was hardly his only transgression: “The clincher was when he pointed to a young girl sitting down wearing low-slung jeans with a shiny thong and suggested I go ask her where she got her underwear!”
10. Honorable mention: the last-minute lothario
Tessa, 29, considers her cute friend Matt to be the type of guy who won’t ever be boyfriend material (for herself, at least) because of his poor dating skills, such as calling her at the last minute to hang out. “It’s always like, ‘yo, you coming over to my place?’” Tessa explains, noting that the only time they went out to dinner together, they decided to split the check.
Marcia Jedd is a freelance writer based in Minneapolis. For the other side of this story, read Men’s worst dating disasters.
Cited from http://www.yahoo.com
***************************************************************************************************************************************************************
Questions for Discussion:
Session I
1.Why is surrogacy so popular in U.S or some European countries?
2.Do you accept surrogacy if you or your wife had the infertility problem?
3.What problems would surrogacy bring on if it were legalized?
Session II
1. Have you ever met with any dates in the list above? If not, could you recall any worst dates you ever had? (You can also take others’ stories as your answers!)
2. Do you remember how your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend acts on your first date? (You can also take others’ stories as your answers!)
3. What kinds of woman or man attract you most?
***************************************************************************************************************************************
Agenda:
6:45 ~ 7:00pm Greetings & Free Talk / Ordering Beverage or Meal / Getting Newcomer’s Information
7:00 ~ 7:10pm Opening Remarks / Newcomer’s Self-introduction / Grouping
(Session I)
7:10 ~ 7:50pm Discussion Session (40 mins)
7:50 ~ 8:10pm Summarization (20 mins)
8:10 ~ 8:25pm Regrouping / Instruction Giving / Taking a 10 Minutes Break (Intermission)
(Session II)
8:25 ~ 9:05pm Discussion Session (40 mins)
9:05 ~ 9:25pm Summarization (20 mins)
9:25 ~ 9:30pm Concluding Remarks / Announcements ********************************************************************************************************************************************
聚會日期：列於該貼文主題內
聚會時間：當天請準時於 6:45 pm 到達 ~ 約 9:30 pm 左右結束
星期三聚會地點：丹堤濟南店
地址、電話：台北市濟南路三段25號 地圖 (02) 2740-2350
捷運站：板南線 忠孝新生站 3 號出口
走法：出忠孝新生站 3 號出口後，沿著巷子(忠孝東路三段10巷)走約 2 分鐘，到了濟南路口，左轉走約 2 分鐘即可看到。
最低消費： 80 元
注意事項：
1. 文章是否需要列印請自行斟酌，但與會者請務必自行列印 Questions for discussion。
2. 與會者請先閱讀過文章，並仔細想過所有的問題，謝謝合作！
給新朋友的話：
1. 請事先準備 2~3 分鐘的英語自我介紹；會議結束前可能會請你發表 1~2 分鐘的感想。
2. 請事先閱讀文章以及主持人所提的討論問題，並事先寫下自己所欲發表意見的英文。
3. 全程以英語進行，參加者應具備中等英語會話能力，對任一討論問題，能夠以 5 到 10 句英文表達個人見解。
4. 在正式加入之前，可以先來觀摩三次，觀摩者亦須參與討論。正式加入需繳交終身會費 NT$1,000。
*****************************************************************************************************************************************************************
Carrying 'Dreams': Why Women Become Surrogates
Surrogacy is an idea as old as the biblical story of Sarah and Abraham in the book of Genesis. Sarah was infertile, so Abraham fathered children with the couple's maid. Today, there are many more options for people who want to grow their families — and for the would-be surrogates who want to help.
Macy Widofsky, 40, is eager to be a surrogate.
"I have very easy pregnancies. All three times have been flawlessly healthy, and I wanted to repeat the process," she says, "and my husband and I won't be having more children of our own."
Widofsky sits in the lobby of a fertility clinic in Reston, Va., where she's being tested to find out if she's a good candidate. Surrogacy runs in her family: Her mother was a surrogate when Widofsky was 12, and the experience left a mark.
"I was very impressed then that she was willing to help a family out this way, and I didn't realize at the time how uncommon that was," she says.
Widofsky's mom did what's called "compassionate" surrogacy, meaning she wasn't paid. Some women do it for family or a friend. Today, though, most surrogates get between $20,000 and $25,000 to bear a child for someone else.
Why One Surrogate Wanted To Help
Whitney and Ray Watts are the parents of 3-year-old J.P. Whitney carried twins for Susan and Bob de Gruchy.
"To me, being a surrogate — it's like you're carrying someone else's dreams," she says.
That's part of what could make some people scratch their head. After all, it's easier to believe that a woman would give up a child from her womb for money rather than a desire to help.
Whitney, 25, says her parents went through infertility nightmares, and that gave her determination to help someone make a family. She says she didn't think about bonding with the baby.
"It was [in vitro fertilization]. It was their embryos," she says. "You just know they are not yours. You're just keeping them for a time to let them grow and then give them back to their parents, because they were never my babies. It's just my uterus that's keeping them."
Not Doing It For The Money
Sitting next to each other, 27-year-old Ray looks adoringly at his wife; they finish each other's sentences when they speak. The Wattses say they were looking for a couple they could connect with.
"It was very important to us to have a relationship with them," Whitney says. "Yes, it's a business contract in a sense, but it's so much more than that." Her husband agrees.
"Had Susan and Bob just wanted to pay money and get a kid, that would have been a deal breaker right away," he says.
The Watts say the health of the pregnancy — and ultimately of the twins — relied on the relationship developed by the couples.
Crystal and John Andrews live in Bel Air, Md., with their three kids. They are done building their family, but Crystal wants to be pregnant again. She says she feels "special" when she's pregnant. She decided to become a surrogate, and her family is onboard.
She says explaining surrogacy to her children wasn't hard.
"Ms. Becky wanted to bake a pie," she told them, "and she had all the ingredients. She got her pie together, went to put it in the oven, and her oven was broken."
Are You Doing Good If You're Getting Paid?
The issue of money, though, is real. It makes some people feel uneasy because motherhood is not typically financially compensated. Whitney Watts says she looked into compassionate surrogacy — doing it for free — but it didn't feel right.
"I would do compassionate [surrogacy] for a friend, but not for someone I don't know, through an agency," she says. "It wouldn't feel appropriate ... because you don't know what you are going to do until you get there."
Whitney says she didn't want to put her family through financial stress. As it turned out, she spent 55 days on bed rest at the hospital.
Elaine Gordon, a clinical psychologist in Los Angeles, counsels couples on family-building, including surrogacy, and on the issue of payment.
"I think people automatically feel that if money is involved then there is no altruism involved, and that's not necessarily true," she says. "We are all compensated for the work we do, and we still want to do good work even though we are compensated."
Gordon says many surrogates tell her the experience of having a child for someone else is so powerful that they want to do it again.
Cited from http://www.npr.com
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Women’s worst dates
By Marcia Jedd
Want to feel more confident about your past dating blunders? Here are some of the worst dates women have experienced.
1. The discount doctor
Cecily, 38, met a physician at a holiday party. On the first date, he took her to a Japanese restaurant and paid for dinner using a two-for-one coupon. The second date, he took her to the same place... and once again, he used a coupon. “On our third date — which I probably shouldn’t have gone on, but he made me laugh — he conveniently forgot his wallet in his sports car,” recalls Cecily.
2. The guy that couldn’t go the distance
Rhonda, 20, was excited to rent a nice car to drive on her visit with her long-distance boyfriend on his birthday — especially since they hadn’t seen each other in two months. She accompanied him on errands, they saw what he referred to as a “strangler movie,” and later, during dinner at a nice restaurant, he admitted to infidelity and begged for her forgiveness. Rhonda obliged — and then he called the next day and broke things off with her anyway. “That was a total date from hell,” she says... and we agree.
3. The invisible third wheel
Susan, 39, went on a date with a man who couldn’t stop gushing about another woman. “He talked a lot about a lady friend of his, their emotional bond, and he even admitted the woman was married and lived in another country,” she recalls. In fact, he talked about this mystery woman the whole night, much to Susan’s dismay. “It was obvious he was more comfortable with his quasi-fantasy relationship with her than face-to-face dating with me.”
4. The well-suited suitor
Sarah, 33, was impressed when her date Phil told her how much his suit cost. “Later, we were at a nice restaurant when I reached over him to grab a napkin and accidentally spilled the entire glass of shrimp cocktail all over his chest and lap,” she admits, thoroughly embarrassed. Luckily, this one still had a happy ending: Phil did ask Sarah out again.
5. The man who needed no introductions
Mindy, 36, wasn’t excited to go on a second date with one guy. Unfortunately, her gut instincts about him were confirmed when they attended a barbecue together that was hosted by her friends. The two were surprised when they walked into the party and he knew most of the guests — including Mindy’s best friend, who had briefly dated him in the past. “I had too much information on him from my friend’s description of dating him before,” reveals Mindy.
6. The guy who fell through the (unnecessary) cracks
Monica, 40, knew she wasn’t interested in a man she met at a speed-dating event by the end of their first date. “He insisted twice on cracking my back after our goodbye hug,” Monica says, noting that she declined both of his subsequent offers (for a back adjustment and a second date) the next day.
7. The hunk who was out of tune with reality
Sheryl, 32, was thrilled when a hunky jock asked her out to a dinner theater production. The evening lost its luster when he sang off-key along with the musical production, though, as he was louder than the actors onstage. The last straw was his insistence at the end of the night to give Sheryl a “little kiss,” which she obliged. “It was the worst, sloppiest, saliva-filled kiss I ever hand in my entire life,” she asserts.
8. The manipu-date
Patty, 41, found her blind date likeable and agreed to go to another restaurant with him for a change of atmosphere. “He ran into his ex-girlfriend, and then left me at the table alone for 20 minutes to go chat with her. He came back and affectionately touched me, telling me to play along in front of her to make her jealous.” Patty said no and left — quickly!
9. The tact-free fibber
Julie, 39, knew when she first met her blind date that he must have lied about his age. That was enough for her, though that was hardly his only transgression: “The clincher was when he pointed to a young girl sitting down wearing low-slung jeans with a shiny thong and suggested I go ask her where she got her underwear!”
10. Honorable mention: the last-minute lothario
Tessa, 29, considers her cute friend Matt to be the type of guy who won’t ever be boyfriend material (for herself, at least) because of his poor dating skills, such as calling her at the last minute to hang out. “It’s always like, ‘yo, you coming over to my place?’” Tessa explains, noting that the only time they went out to dinner together, they decided to split the check.
Marcia Jedd is a freelance writer based in Minneapolis. For the other side of this story, read Men’s worst dating disasters.
Cited from http://www.yahoo.com
***************************************************************************************************************************************************************
Questions for Discussion:
Session I
1.Why is surrogacy so popular in U.S or some European countries?
2.Do you accept surrogacy if you or your wife had the infertility problem?
3.What problems would surrogacy bring on if it were legalized?
Session II
1. Have you ever met with any dates in the list above? If not, could you recall any worst dates you ever had? (You can also take others’ stories as your answers!)
2. Do you remember how your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend acts on your first date? (You can also take others’ stories as your answers!)
3. What kinds of woman or man attract you most?
***************************************************************************************************************************************
Agenda:
6:45 ~ 7:00pm Greetings & Free Talk / Ordering Beverage or Meal / Getting Newcomer’s Information
7:00 ~ 7:10pm Opening Remarks / Newcomer’s Self-introduction / Grouping
(Session I)
7:10 ~ 7:50pm Discussion Session (40 mins)
7:50 ~ 8:10pm Summarization (20 mins)
8:10 ~ 8:25pm Regrouping / Instruction Giving / Taking a 10 Minutes Break (Intermission)
(Session II)
8:25 ~ 9:05pm Discussion Session (40 mins)
9:05 ~ 9:25pm Summarization (20 mins)
9:25 ~ 9:30pm Concluding Remarks / Announcements ********************************************************************************************************************************************
聚會日期：列於該貼文主題內
聚會時間：當天請準時於 6:45 pm 到達 ~ 約 9:30 pm 左右結束
星期三聚會地點：丹堤濟南店
地址、電話：台北市濟南路三段25號 地圖 (02) 2740-2350
捷運站：板南線 忠孝新生站 3 號出口
走法：出忠孝新生站 3 號出口後，沿著巷子(忠孝東路三段10巷)走約 2 分鐘，到了濟南路口，左轉走約 2 分鐘即可看到。
最低消費： 80 元
注意事項：
1. 文章是否需要列印請自行斟酌，但與會者請務必自行列印 Questions for discussion。
2. 與會者請先閱讀過文章，並仔細想過所有的問題，謝謝合作！
給新朋友的話：
1. 請事先準備 2~3 分鐘的英語自我介紹；會議結束前可能會請你發表 1~2 分鐘的感想。
2. 請事先閱讀文章以及主持人所提的討論問題，並事先寫下自己所欲發表意見的英文。
3. 全程以英語進行，參加者應具備中等英語會話能力，對任一討論問題，能夠以 5 到 10 句英文表達個人見解。
4. 在正式加入之前，可以先來觀摩三次，觀摩者亦須參與討論。正式加入需繳交終身會費 NT$1,000。
