10/7(Tue.)Sympathy vs. Empathy vs. Compassion(Host:Liwen)
10/7(Tue.)Sympathy vs. Empathy vs. Compassion(Host:Liwen)
10/7(Tue.)Sympathy vs. Empathy vs. Compassion(Host:Liwen Chen)
Hello, dear Yoyos! I am Liwen Chen. I take the pleasure to host the meetings of this Tuesday. This time let’s put our concern for how to show empathy to our friends.
The following was a short video. In this beautifully animated RSA Short, Dr Brené Brown reminds us that we can only create a genuine empathic connection if we are brave enough to really get in touch with our own fragilities.
Sympathy vs. Empathy vs. Compassion
By Operation-Meditation
http://operationmeditation.com/discover ... ompassion/
Do you aspire to living a life of enlightenment? Acting for the good of others and not yourself is the cornerstone of an enlightened life and will put you on the path of contentment. There are many terms that are used to describe actions as they relate to other’s needs and suffering and they are often wrongly utilized. Do you know the difference between sympathy, empathy and compassion and how they may relate to your life choices?
Sympathy – feeling sorry for another’s hurt
Sympathy is feeling sorry for another’s hurt or pain. There is some emotional distance with sympathy – you are not experiencing the pain for yourself, rather you are saying “Isn’t it sad that this person is having a bad time”. Sometimes sympathy can tip into pity, and that is where some caution is needed. Pity is an emotion that tends to dehumanize and belittle. Most people who have a disability or other challenges will despise being ‘pitied’ as pity strips away the rich reality of their human experience and leaves just the difficulty or disability on view. For a deeper relationship and understanding, empathy is needed.
Empathy – walking in another’s shoes
Empathy takes things a little deeper – it is the ability to experience for yourself some of the pain that the other person may be experiencing. It is an acknowledgement of our shared experience as humans and recognition that we all feel grief and loss and pain and fear. You do not need to have experienced exactly the same events as the person who is suffering but you do need to have the ability to really imagine how they must be feeling in their situation. Empathy is a vicarious experience – if your friend is feeling afraid, you too will experience a feeling of fear in your body; if they are sad, you too will feel sorrow. Feeling empathy is allowing yourself to become tuned into another person’s emotional experience. It takes courage to do this but if you have ever experienced real empathy from another when you have been hurting, you will know what a gift it can be.
Compassion – love in action
If empathy is the ability to really experience some of the feelings of pain that another person is feeling, then compassion is to translate that feeling into action. You understand that your friend is feeling worried and stressed with their aging relative in hospital, so you cook the family some dinners and take their children for an afternoon. True compassion reaches out to all people, no matter whether they are your friends or not, and even to all living creatures. It is the ability and willingness to stand alongside someone and to put their needs before your own.
Living a compassionate life can be learned – it is not just something that some ‘extra-good’ people are born with. Changing habits takes persistence and practice but it is achievable through the right methods.
Many of the worlds’ wisest people have stated that giving to others in life is the source of the greatest contentment and life satisfaction, so there are many personal benefits to be gained as well.
Session1
Q1: Sometimes, I can’t understand why my friend not only doesn’t appreciate my advice, but seems to get upset with my suggestions. Do you have a similar experience like me?
Q2: What is the difference between sympathy, empathy and compassion?
Q3: Which words shown below are useful to comfort people’s emotions? Can you identify them?
( ) Can I help you with that?
( ) How awful, poor you!
( ) I am sorry for your loss.
( ) I feel your pain.
( ) I feel your grief.
( ) This has been a great loss for you.
( ) I feel so sad for you.
( ) Let me do that for you.
Session2
Q4: Do you know how to show empathy to your friends when they are in pain?
Q5: The short video shows us, “staying out of judgment” is the most difficult part when you try to show empathy with others. Do you agree with it or not? Please share your opinions.
Q6: Why is it important to continue to develop a capacity for empathy?
********************************************************************************************************************************************
Agenda:
6:45 ~ 7:00pm Greetings & Free Talk / Ordering Beverage or Meal / Getting Newcomer’s Information
7:00 ~ 7:10pm Opening Remarks / Newcomer’s Self-introduction / Grouping
(Session I)
7:10 ~ 7:50pm Discussion Session (40 mins)
7:50 ~ 8:10pm Summarization (20 mins)
8:10 ~ 8:25pm Regrouping / Instruction Giving / Taking a 10 Minutes Break (Intermission)
(Session II)
8:25 ~ 9:05pm Discussion Session (40 mins)
9:05 ~ 9:25pm Summarization (20 mins)
9:25 ~ 9:30pm Concluding Remarks / Announcements ********************************************************************************************************************************************
聚會日期:列於該貼文主題內
聚會時間:當天請準時於 6:45 pm 到達 ~ 約 9:30 pm 左右結束
星期二聚會地點:丹堤濟南店
地址、電話:台北市濟南路三段25號 地圖 (02) 2740-2350
捷運站:板南線 忠孝新生站 3 號出口
走法:出忠孝新生站 3 號出口後,沿著巷子(忠孝東路三段10巷)走約 2 分鐘,到了濟南路口,左轉走約 2 分鐘即可看到。
最低消費: 80 元
注意事項:
1. 文章是否需要列印請自行斟酌,但與會者請務必自行列印 Questions for discussion。
2. 與會者請先閱讀過文章,並仔細想過所有的問題,謝謝合作!
給新朋友的話:
1. 請事先準備 2~3 分鐘的英語自我介紹;會議結束前可能會請你發表 1~2 分鐘的感想。
2. 請事先閱讀文章以及主持人所提的討論問題,並事先寫下自己所欲發表意見的英文。
3. 全程以英語進行,參加者應具備中等英語會話能力,對任一討論問題,能夠以 5 到 10 句英文表達個人見解。
4. 在正式加入之前,可以先來觀摩三次,觀摩者亦須參與討論。正式加入需繳交終身會費 NT$1,000。
Hello, dear Yoyos! I am Liwen Chen. I take the pleasure to host the meetings of this Tuesday. This time let’s put our concern for how to show empathy to our friends.
The following was a short video. In this beautifully animated RSA Short, Dr Brené Brown reminds us that we can only create a genuine empathic connection if we are brave enough to really get in touch with our own fragilities.
Sympathy vs. Empathy vs. Compassion
By Operation-Meditation
http://operationmeditation.com/discover ... ompassion/
Do you aspire to living a life of enlightenment? Acting for the good of others and not yourself is the cornerstone of an enlightened life and will put you on the path of contentment. There are many terms that are used to describe actions as they relate to other’s needs and suffering and they are often wrongly utilized. Do you know the difference between sympathy, empathy and compassion and how they may relate to your life choices?
Sympathy – feeling sorry for another’s hurt
Sympathy is feeling sorry for another’s hurt or pain. There is some emotional distance with sympathy – you are not experiencing the pain for yourself, rather you are saying “Isn’t it sad that this person is having a bad time”. Sometimes sympathy can tip into pity, and that is where some caution is needed. Pity is an emotion that tends to dehumanize and belittle. Most people who have a disability or other challenges will despise being ‘pitied’ as pity strips away the rich reality of their human experience and leaves just the difficulty or disability on view. For a deeper relationship and understanding, empathy is needed.
Empathy – walking in another’s shoes
Empathy takes things a little deeper – it is the ability to experience for yourself some of the pain that the other person may be experiencing. It is an acknowledgement of our shared experience as humans and recognition that we all feel grief and loss and pain and fear. You do not need to have experienced exactly the same events as the person who is suffering but you do need to have the ability to really imagine how they must be feeling in their situation. Empathy is a vicarious experience – if your friend is feeling afraid, you too will experience a feeling of fear in your body; if they are sad, you too will feel sorrow. Feeling empathy is allowing yourself to become tuned into another person’s emotional experience. It takes courage to do this but if you have ever experienced real empathy from another when you have been hurting, you will know what a gift it can be.
Compassion – love in action
If empathy is the ability to really experience some of the feelings of pain that another person is feeling, then compassion is to translate that feeling into action. You understand that your friend is feeling worried and stressed with their aging relative in hospital, so you cook the family some dinners and take their children for an afternoon. True compassion reaches out to all people, no matter whether they are your friends or not, and even to all living creatures. It is the ability and willingness to stand alongside someone and to put their needs before your own.
Living a compassionate life can be learned – it is not just something that some ‘extra-good’ people are born with. Changing habits takes persistence and practice but it is achievable through the right methods.
Many of the worlds’ wisest people have stated that giving to others in life is the source of the greatest contentment and life satisfaction, so there are many personal benefits to be gained as well.
Session1
Q1: Sometimes, I can’t understand why my friend not only doesn’t appreciate my advice, but seems to get upset with my suggestions. Do you have a similar experience like me?
Q2: What is the difference between sympathy, empathy and compassion?
Q3: Which words shown below are useful to comfort people’s emotions? Can you identify them?
( ) Can I help you with that?
( ) How awful, poor you!
( ) I am sorry for your loss.
( ) I feel your pain.
( ) I feel your grief.
( ) This has been a great loss for you.
( ) I feel so sad for you.
( ) Let me do that for you.
Session2
Q4: Do you know how to show empathy to your friends when they are in pain?
Q5: The short video shows us, “staying out of judgment” is the most difficult part when you try to show empathy with others. Do you agree with it or not? Please share your opinions.
Q6: Why is it important to continue to develop a capacity for empathy?
********************************************************************************************************************************************
Agenda:
6:45 ~ 7:00pm Greetings & Free Talk / Ordering Beverage or Meal / Getting Newcomer’s Information
7:00 ~ 7:10pm Opening Remarks / Newcomer’s Self-introduction / Grouping
(Session I)
7:10 ~ 7:50pm Discussion Session (40 mins)
7:50 ~ 8:10pm Summarization (20 mins)
8:10 ~ 8:25pm Regrouping / Instruction Giving / Taking a 10 Minutes Break (Intermission)
(Session II)
8:25 ~ 9:05pm Discussion Session (40 mins)
9:05 ~ 9:25pm Summarization (20 mins)
9:25 ~ 9:30pm Concluding Remarks / Announcements ********************************************************************************************************************************************
聚會日期:列於該貼文主題內
聚會時間:當天請準時於 6:45 pm 到達 ~ 約 9:30 pm 左右結束
星期二聚會地點:丹堤濟南店
地址、電話:台北市濟南路三段25號 地圖 (02) 2740-2350
捷運站:板南線 忠孝新生站 3 號出口
走法:出忠孝新生站 3 號出口後,沿著巷子(忠孝東路三段10巷)走約 2 分鐘,到了濟南路口,左轉走約 2 分鐘即可看到。
最低消費: 80 元
注意事項:
1. 文章是否需要列印請自行斟酌,但與會者請務必自行列印 Questions for discussion。
2. 與會者請先閱讀過文章,並仔細想過所有的問題,謝謝合作!
給新朋友的話:
1. 請事先準備 2~3 分鐘的英語自我介紹;會議結束前可能會請你發表 1~2 分鐘的感想。
2. 請事先閱讀文章以及主持人所提的討論問題,並事先寫下自己所欲發表意見的英文。
3. 全程以英語進行,參加者應具備中等英語會話能力,對任一討論問題,能夠以 5 到 10 句英文表達個人見解。
4. 在正式加入之前,可以先來觀摩三次,觀摩者亦須參與討論。正式加入需繳交終身會費 NT$1,000。
Re: 10/7(Tue.)Sympathy vs. Empathy vs. Compassion(Host:Liwen
It's a really good topic with concise references and down-to-earth questions. See you then!
Re: 10/7(Tue.)Sympathy vs. Empathy vs. Compassion(Host:Liwen
Thank you. It was not easy to tell the differences between these words. Now they are all clear. Great job.
It seems that compassion is the best. But, wouldn't it be a bit awkward to share such strong feelings with others if we are not as strongly bonded beforehand? Is it natural to be compassionate to someone who is only a friend? Furthermore, can we intend to "learn" to be compassionate? If we haven't lost someone important, how do we know the sorrow of losing them? If we are born optimists, how can we know the hopelessness of pessimists?
However, there is no problem for Luis. He says that he is a pessimist in nature.
It seems that compassion is the best. But, wouldn't it be a bit awkward to share such strong feelings with others if we are not as strongly bonded beforehand? Is it natural to be compassionate to someone who is only a friend? Furthermore, can we intend to "learn" to be compassionate? If we haven't lost someone important, how do we know the sorrow of losing them? If we are born optimists, how can we know the hopelessness of pessimists?
However, there is no problem for Luis. He says that he is a pessimist in nature.
Re: 10/7(Tue.)Sympathy vs. Empathy vs. Compassion(Host:Liwen
Hi Liwen,
I feel terrible that I couldn’t attend tonight as I had a horrible dinner with my colleagues and the supplier. I was forced to drink a lot…. beyond my ability. @@ That’s really a rough night. Please allow me to go home and rest. XDDD
It’s really so struggling for me. I do like this topic, very practical and interesting.
For me, it’s hard for someone to feel the same or share the bonded feelings with others if they haven’t experienced any similar past. Take me for example, there was a period that I prefer to have a chat about my family with some particular friends who may be also not from the perfect family either. I may use very strong words to express my feelings, my sorrows and my anger. Friends who don’t have the same or similar experience, they may try to calm me down or try to persuade me to let it go… but I don’t want to let it go. I just need my listeners to do the same complaints or just simply back me up and share some similar stories of theirs. We are truly bonded.
I understand in the end, nothing really solved. People may be convinced that storing so many negative feelings does no good, and we should always look the bright side. And this moment will be the exact moment that “You will never understand.” Well….putting into someone’s shoes is indeed so difficult.
Until now, I still get annoyed when hearing my friends or even my Mom ask me to “let it go.” = =||| At this moment, I only need simple empathy.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
As for sympathy or compassion, it brings me so many troubles, especially when I see the article about the elders in need or the strait dogs that being abused or mistreated and need urgent helps or need a sweet home…. I want help them!!!!!!!! I really do….. but I am selfish too…… I have to take care myself …..(sigh)
Anyway, good luck tonight, Liwen. And thank you for your kind support as always.
I feel terrible that I couldn’t attend tonight as I had a horrible dinner with my colleagues and the supplier. I was forced to drink a lot…. beyond my ability. @@ That’s really a rough night. Please allow me to go home and rest. XDDD
It’s really so struggling for me. I do like this topic, very practical and interesting.
For me, it’s hard for someone to feel the same or share the bonded feelings with others if they haven’t experienced any similar past. Take me for example, there was a period that I prefer to have a chat about my family with some particular friends who may be also not from the perfect family either. I may use very strong words to express my feelings, my sorrows and my anger. Friends who don’t have the same or similar experience, they may try to calm me down or try to persuade me to let it go… but I don’t want to let it go. I just need my listeners to do the same complaints or just simply back me up and share some similar stories of theirs. We are truly bonded.
I understand in the end, nothing really solved. People may be convinced that storing so many negative feelings does no good, and we should always look the bright side. And this moment will be the exact moment that “You will never understand.” Well….putting into someone’s shoes is indeed so difficult.
Until now, I still get annoyed when hearing my friends or even my Mom ask me to “let it go.” = =||| At this moment, I only need simple empathy.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
As for sympathy or compassion, it brings me so many troubles, especially when I see the article about the elders in need or the strait dogs that being abused or mistreated and need urgent helps or need a sweet home…. I want help them!!!!!!!! I really do….. but I am selfish too…… I have to take care myself …..(sigh)
Anyway, good luck tonight, Liwen. And thank you for your kind support as always.
Re: 10/7(Tue.)Sympathy vs. Empathy vs. Compassion(Host:Liwen
Haha...how to say "躺著也中槍" ~However, there is no problem for Luis. He says that he is a pessimist in nature.
Rock always can arouse more to make us think further.... and saying it with good English sentences.It seems that compassion is the best. But, wouldn't it be a bit awkward to share such strong feelings with others if we are not as strongly bonded beforehand? Is it natural to be compassionate to someone who is only a friend? Furthermore, can we intend to "learn" to be compassionate? If we haven't lost someone important, how do we know the sorrow of losing them? If we are born optimists, how can we know the hopelessness of pessimists?
Re: 10/7(Tue.)Sympathy vs. Empathy vs. Compassion(Host:Liwen
The choice of a topic, sometimes if not always, reflects the “care and compassion” of the host in certain aspects of life. Liwen, as usual, shows her gracefulness in selecting such an elegant topic. I certainly agree that we can learn, practice and improve our capacity for empathy to become more loving and less judgmental.
But just to play the devil's advocate as many of us did in the discussion sessions, when taken to the extreme, things might become what they oppose, often defeating their own purposes. Empathy is no exception. We need to be empathetic for the right reasons and the right people, I would have hard time to empathize people who create their own pain. There are people who are truly unfortunate to lose a place to stay, they deserve our empathy and compassionate actions, but there are many others who enjoy their daily luxury lifestyle in food, car and traveling, and do not save to buy a home. How much empathy or sympathy should they get (when crying out “no affordable housing”)? When people manipulate and try to gain from other people's empathy, that is the time we need to have a wake-up call, are we being taken advantage of in our sincere (or naïve) empathy?
But just to play the devil's advocate as many of us did in the discussion sessions, when taken to the extreme, things might become what they oppose, often defeating their own purposes. Empathy is no exception. We need to be empathetic for the right reasons and the right people, I would have hard time to empathize people who create their own pain. There are people who are truly unfortunate to lose a place to stay, they deserve our empathy and compassionate actions, but there are many others who enjoy their daily luxury lifestyle in food, car and traveling, and do not save to buy a home. How much empathy or sympathy should they get (when crying out “no affordable housing”)? When people manipulate and try to gain from other people's empathy, that is the time we need to have a wake-up call, are we being taken advantage of in our sincere (or naïve) empathy?
Re: 10/7(Tue.)Sympathy vs. Empathy vs. Compassion(Host:Liwen
Hi, Tina, we did talk about stray dogs yesterday. David Jr. actually shares the same feeling as yours.
Maybe nobody is rich (or strong) enough to be empathetic to everything?
Maybe nobody is rich (or strong) enough to be empathetic to everything?
Re: 10/7(Tue.)Sympathy vs. Empathy vs. Compassion(Host:Liwen
Dear yoyos,
Thank you for participating Tuesday’s meeting. We had an ardent discussion last night. Many members shared their opinions and experiences about how to show empathy to others.
Most of us agreed that express empathy is difficult but very important. Fortunately, empathy can be learned by changing habits, taking persistence and practicing. It is achievable through the right methods.
Attendee: Sabrina, Liwen, Tom, Steve, Stay Way, JD, Chris, Lawrence, Austin, Morris David Jr., Iris, Kooper, Rock
Speakers:
Session 1: Steve, Austin, Sabrina
Session2: Stay Way, David Jr., Kooper
Thank you for participating Tuesday’s meeting. We had an ardent discussion last night. Many members shared their opinions and experiences about how to show empathy to others.
Most of us agreed that express empathy is difficult but very important. Fortunately, empathy can be learned by changing habits, taking persistence and practicing. It is achievable through the right methods.
Attendee: Sabrina, Liwen, Tom, Steve, Stay Way, JD, Chris, Lawrence, Austin, Morris David Jr., Iris, Kooper, Rock
Speakers:
Session 1: Steve, Austin, Sabrina
Session2: Stay Way, David Jr., Kooper
Re: 10/7(Tue.)Sympathy vs. Empathy vs. Compassion(Host:Liwen
Rock,
Of course it's impossible to have compassion to everything. However, it's already very valuable if you can devote your compassion to one particular thing thoroughly. There are many groups or authorizations or even one person only devote their time, their money on poor, mistreated, strait dogs.... I really admire their courage and appreciate that so much!!!!!
Tina
Of course it's impossible to have compassion to everything. However, it's already very valuable if you can devote your compassion to one particular thing thoroughly. There are many groups or authorizations or even one person only devote their time, their money on poor, mistreated, strait dogs.... I really admire their courage and appreciate that so much!!!!!
Tina
Re: 10/7(Tue.)Sympathy vs. Empathy vs. Compassion(Host:Liwen
I always love the topic Liwen chooses. Having her to be the host is truly a blessing. Ha....The choice of a topic, sometimes if not always, reflects the “care and compassion” of the host in certain aspects of life. Liwen, as usual, shows her gracefulness in selecting such an elegant topic. I certainly agree that we can learn, practice and improve our capacity for empathy to become more loving and less judgmental.
Re: 10/7(Tue.)Sympathy vs. Empathy vs. Compassion(Host:Liwen
how about "Luis got hit out of the blue" or "Luis was gunned down out of the blue"?Tina Sun 寫:Haha...how to say "躺著也中槍" ~However, there is no problem for Luis. He says that he is a pessimist in nature.
Re: 10/7(Tue.)Sympathy vs. Empathy vs. Compassion(Host:Liwen
Hi Iris, your writing is really good! Please do it more often on forum in the future.Iris Wu 寫:The choice of a topic, sometimes if not always, reflects the “care and compassion” of the host in certain aspects of life. Liwen, as usual, shows her gracefulness in selecting such an elegant topic. I certainly agree that we can learn, practice and improve our capacity for empathy to become more loving and less judgmental.
But just to play the devil's advocate as many of us did in the discussion sessions, when taken to the extreme, things might become what they oppose, often defeating their own purposes. Empathy is no exception. We need to be empathetic for the right reasons and the right people, I would have hard time to empathize people who create their own pain. There are people who are truly unfortunate to lose a place to stay, they deserve our empathy and compassionate actions, but there are many others who enjoy their daily luxury lifestyle in food, car and traveling, and do not save to buy a home. How much empathy or sympathy should they get (when crying out “no affordable housing”)? When people manipulate and try to gain from other people's empathy, that is the time we need to have a wake-up call, are we being taken advantage of in our sincere (or naïve) empathy?
Now I kind of understand why staying out of judgment is important for a person to become truly empathetic. Like Iris said, in many cases people suffer for decisions they made earlier in their lives. They deserve it to some degree. With judgment involved, it becomes very challenging, if not impossible, for us to express empathy. I guess this is one of the reasons that make me very poor at empathizing.
Re: 10/7(Tue.)Sympathy vs. Empathy vs. Compassion(Host:Liwen
Ha, Kooper, I always admire you guys putting great deal of thoughts in the forum and I often "chicken out" because I feel it is like "putting my head on the chopping board"; it is much easier to get away with what we "talked" in the meetings, since we did not record what we said in the discussion sessions!
But I guess the only way to improve is to continue practicing and be fearless about judgment or any mistakes we may be making! So I guess I should try more writing. And should we also try to record what we said in the meetings? (Ha, now I am really putting my head on the chopping board!!!) I am just wondering if there is any method we can still practice freely and in the meantime review what we said and identify things that can be corrected or improved just like what we do in the writing?
But I guess the only way to improve is to continue practicing and be fearless about judgment or any mistakes we may be making! So I guess I should try more writing. And should we also try to record what we said in the meetings? (Ha, now I am really putting my head on the chopping board!!!) I am just wondering if there is any method we can still practice freely and in the meantime review what we said and identify things that can be corrected or improved just like what we do in the writing?
Re: 10/7(Tue.)Sympathy vs. Empathy vs. Compassion(Host:Liwen
Hi Rock,Rock 寫:Thank you. It was not easy to tell the differences between these words. Now they are all clear. Great job.
It seems that compassion is the best. But, wouldn't it be a bit awkward to share such strong feelings with others if we are not as strongly bonded beforehand? Is it natural to be compassionate to someone who is only a friend? Furthermore, can we intend to "learn" to be compassionate? If we haven't lost someone important, how do we know the sorrow of losing them? If we are born optimists, how can we know the hopelessness of pessimists?
Thanks for making more problems,.. oh no… more questions to us. These are good ones and are worth some reflection.
To some people, it could be not that hard to take one step forward from expressing empathy to compassion. Turning thoughts into action sometimes requires more of a habit than a strong bond beforehand. The more challenging part, to these activists, could be how to feel empathetic to others. That is, how to put themselves in others’ shoes.
This is however not the case to some other people. Take me for instance. I have been educated so well to learn through text books rather than through real-life experiences, experiments, or physical operations. Taking action is my hopeless Achilles’ heel.
Re: 10/7(Tue.)Sympathy vs. Empathy vs. Compassion(Host:Liwen
I found it almost impossible to speak after the speaker at the same pace. She sounded so effortless and agile that sometimes I didn't even have time to make a sound when she finished one sentence. Really frustrated.