9/15(Tue.) Can Men and Women Be Just Friends? (Host: Morris)

[morris25]

9/15(Tue.) Can Men and Women Be "Just Friends"? (Host: Morris)

Can men and women be just friends? We have been asking ourselves that question for a long time. However, it doesn't seem to have a clear answer. Therefore, I plan to discuss this old but interesting question in Sep. 15 to know more about what most people think.
Please watch this interesting video and come to share your experience and opinions in English.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PR04klFMPYQ
Please also read the following two articles, which provide the answers from scientific research, if you have extra time.
http://mic.com/articles/109480/science- ... be-friends
http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/dating ... t-friends/
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Section I
1. Do you have any platonic opposite-sex friends? If no, why? If yes, how can you be so sure that you are in that kind of relationship? How to maintain the platonic relationships properly?

2. Have you (or someone you knew) liked someone but you (or he/she) pretended to be just his/her friends to maintain the relationship? What happened to the relationship in the end? Is it a good way to make a girlfriend/boyfriend?

3. Can men and women be "just friends"? Why or why not?
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Section II
1. Have you (or someone you know) had any real experience that an ordinary opposite-sex friend became a lover, similar to the story of the movie: When Harry Met Sally? Please share the experience with your table member.

2. Have you encountered any trouble in your relationships because your opposite-sex friend had different understanding on his/her relationship with you (for example, just friends or more than friends)? How did you deal with it?

3. One research, conducted in Norway, found that men and women fundamentally misunderstand each other: She interprets his signals of sexual interest as friendliness. He reads her signals of friendliness as sexual interest. Do you agree with the conclusion? Will this conclusion change your attitude, behavior or concept on making opposite-sex friends?
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Agenda:
6:45 ~ 7:00pm Greetings & Free Talk / Ordering Beverage or Meal / Getting Newcomer’s Information
7:00 ~ 7:10pm Opening Remarks / Newcomer’s Self-introduction / Grouping
(Session I)
7:10 ~ 7:50pm Discussion Session (40 mins)
7:50 ~ 8:10pm Summarization (20 mins)
8:10 ~ 8:25pm Regrouping / Instruction Giving / Taking a 10 Minutes Break (Intermission)
(Session II)
8:25 ~ 9:05pm Discussion Session (40 mins)
9:05 ~ 9:25pm Summarization (20 mins)
9:25 ~ 9:30pm Concluding Remarks / Announcements
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聚會日期：列於該貼文主題內
聚會時間：當天請準時於 6:45 pm 到達 ~ 約 9:30 pm 左右結束
星期三聚會地點：丹堤濟南店
地址、電話：台北市濟南路三段25號 地圖 (02) 2740-2350
捷運站：板南線 忠孝新生站 3 號出口
走法：出忠孝新生站 3 號出口後，沿著巷子(忠孝東路三段10巷)走約 2 分鐘，到了濟南路口，左轉走約 2 分鐘即可看到。
最低消費： 80 元

注意事項：
1. 文章是否需要列印請自行斟酌，但與會者請務必自行列印 Questions for discussion。
2. 與會者請先閱讀過文章，並仔細想過所有的問題，謝謝合作！

給新朋友的話：
1. 請事先準備 2~3 分鐘的英語自我介紹；會議結束前可能會請你發表 1~2 分鐘的感想。
2. 請事先閱讀文章以及主持人所提的討論問題，並事先寫下自己所欲發表意見的英文。
3. 全程以英語進行，參加者應具備中等英語會話能力，對任一討論問題，能夠以 5 到 10 句英文表達個人見解。
4. 在正式加入之前，可以先來觀摩三次，觀摩者亦須參與討論。正式加入需繳交終身會費 NT$1,000。

[Tina Sun]

This answer to this question is really hard to reply......

[morris25]

This answer to this question is really hard to reply......

Tina, nothing is hard for you.

[Lawrencenz Cheng]

The interview of the video was in library of college.
The objects/interviewee were all young people.
So. This report is very narrow.
Thanks!

[morris25]

Please, define "just friend"
The interview of the video was in library of college. The objects were all young people.
So. This report is very narrow.
Thanks

Dear Lawrence,
That video is just for fun.
I think "just friend" means "friends based on Platonic relationship/love."
You may read the articles, or refer to
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Platonic_love
Thank you.

[Iris Wu]

I kind of agree with the following statements:
They (Women) expect more emotional rewards from friendship than men do, explained Sapadin, so they’re easily disappointed when they don’t receive them.
“Women confide in women,” noted Blieszner. “Men confide in women.”

But to talk personal experience in public is probably one of the challenges on this kind of topics. Maybe we need to learn to be a writer, describing things or stories from a third party point of view.

[Rock]

quoted from the article:
...Men don’t choose women because you’re taller, smarter, richer, funnier or more sophisticated. Men choose women because you listen to them, provide empathy and support and affection ...

To me, the thing is that taller, smarter, richer and funnier women don't choose me as a friend at all.

[Kooper]

Of course men and women can be friends ........ as long as one of them is decades older than the other, or they are geographically far far away from each other.

[Rock]

Oh, you're hurting the feelings of many female in our club who call you friend.

[Lawrencenz Cheng]

I've read all the comments about this topic.
If you guys treat it as another carrot for rabbit to chew.
That's all right.
If you really trust the reports, then it is not OK at all.
You are not the students any longer.

When I was 22, I did take care of one university girl for 1 years and 10 months at the time her boyfriend was serviced in Army after his graduation.
She was charming and humor.
People like her, even my friends paid only one visit and also like her at once.
We were very closed and people thought that we were a couple.
Even my roommate also gave me a hint "there is no rule for love" which was implying me that I should take her as my girl.

Of course, I could have her if I wanted to. But, somehow I didn't.
People all said that I was so stupid as they knew this experience in my life.
I don't agree with that.
For I believe my heart would tell me who is my right girl.

What I try to say is
"Don't trust all the study reports and scholars but your heart on relationship issues.
Don't think and look at friendship with sexual image all the time.
It is not real in the real life.

Love and friendship both are not confined by anything or sex but the heart!
Stable and consistent is the key on relationships.
Trust me on this and I am not a scholar.

Don't take shit from the scholars or the improper paper.
(This is nothingt to do with host. Morris only provided a material to see how people react.)
As you can see how the scholars ruining Taiwan today."

Last night, I was planning to attend the meeting.
But I gave up for keeping a clear mind.

My advice:
Take a meditation to keep your mind be clear and make the voice in the heart be loud, so you can hear it.

Thanks.

[Lawrencenz Cheng]

Oh, you're hurting the feelings of many female in our club who call you friend.

I agree with you, Rock.

The report of study addressed this way in the relationship between male and female is really hurt.
So, I gave up attending the meeting last night.
(I was planning to attend.)

So, Gloria,
Catherine,
Kate,
Sherry,
Alice,
Liwen. And all the female YoYo members.
I am your friend for sure and don't treat me as a sex seeker at next time I attend the meeting.

Is me Lawrence, and the others.... I don't know....according this report if they trust it..

[morris25]

Attendees:24
Leo, Iris, Tricia(New comer), Steven(New comer), Rock, Tina, Wenhan, Carmen, Sabrina, Michael, Renee(New comer), Kooper, Luis, Kat, Tom, Wendy, Steve, Cama(?), Willy, Peter(New comer), Shirley, Ryan, Julian, Morris (Host)

Session I Speakers: Luis, Steve, Peter, Carmen, Tina
Session II Speakers: Renee, Ryan, Tom, Shirley, Carmen