1/14(Sat) Why Men Do Mansplaining (Host: Kooper)

[Kooper]

The word "mansplaining" made its debut in 2008, inspired by Rebecca Solnit's blog post: "Men Explain Things to Me." "Men explain things to me, and other women, whether or not they know what they're talking about," Solnit wrote. Her blog post describes a cringe-worthy moment in which a man interrupts her to talk "smugly about this book I should have known," Solnit said. What he didn't realize was that Solnit had written the book in question. It took several interruptions for him to realize he was explaining a book, which he hadn't read, to the woman who had written it. The term spread from there. The New York Times declared "mansplainer" a "Word of the Year" in 2010 (source: Do we need a different word for 'mansplaining'?)

Mansplaining, a combination of the word "man" and "explain," refers to explaining without regard to the fact that the explainee might know more than the explainer, often done by a man to a woman, in a manner regarded as condescending or patronizing. There are three criteria to fill to say a person is mansplaining. (1)He assumes he knows better than you do, even if you are fighting your urge every minute to stop him and point out how shallow and ill informed he is. (2)He starts to share information, regardless of its accuracy, even though you have never asked for it. (3)He likes doing this, and thinks that he is doing others a favor because if he does not, people are going to remain ignorant. (source: Stop mansplaining)

Six ways to get your mansplaining colleague off your back
Assert yourself: The first thing to do is challenge it when it occurs... It might be awkward but it’s essential to cut them off before they can ramble on. When you say “Yes, I know what this means,” or “Yes,I know what you’re talking about,” and carry the conversation forward into what actually needs to be spoken about....

Turn the table around: The only way a person realises the consequences of his action is when he’s at the brunt of it. If condescension is the pawn here, then direct that move at him. When you’re being ‘mansplained’, nod and smile in a way that’s obviously mocking – a manner that suggests that you’re highly amused by this conversation, by this man who so strongly believes that you couldn’t possibly know what he does...

Ask them questions: attacking them with questions is another way to make them aware of their condescension. Ask them questions like how many such projects they’ve worked on, how many years they’ve put into this work (the concept that they’re enthusiastically explaining)... This way, you bring out their qualifications, and yours, on the table for them to see...

Don’t waste your breath: Sometimes it’s just not worth your energy. Simply nod a disinterested nod and walk away. If your colleague takes on mansplaining in a group or a meeting, cut him off with –“Yes, I know,” and address someone else in the group...

Call them out on it: if nothing has worked, then it’s time to confront them... Let them know that you can do without their explanations. Tell them directly that you don’t appreciate their patronisation...

Give them the benefit of doubt: Before responding to mansplaining, you could be the bigger person and give them the benefit of doubt...

References:
How to Explain Mansplaining
Forget 'Mansplaining' - Men Need to Stop Other Men From 'Manterrupting'

Questions for Discussion:
Session I
1. What is 'mansplaining' by definition? What behavior falls into the category of mansplaining and what others not?

2. Have you been mansplained before? If it did happen to you or your friends, how did you stop people from doing this? The article Six ways to get your mansplaining colleague off your back suggests six countermeasures. Which one do you think is most effective?

3. Do you agree that men are more likely to mansplain than women? Why do you think this tendency exists? Is it also observed in YOYO's weekly meetings? Have you met any women who like mansplaining?

4. Do you consider the word MANSPLAINING inherently sexist (as the article Do we need a different word for 'mansplaining'? suggests)? Is 'mansplaining' just another weapon created by feminists to attack men? What alternative words or expressions could be used that are gender-neutral, less controversial or in other words more politically correct?

Session II
1. Is gender the only major factor that makes one group of people more susceptible to mansplaining? What other factors that could also at play?

2. The video clip lists five pieces of scientific evidence to prove the existence of mansplaining. What are they and how many of them do you think are "solid" evidence?

3. It has been claimed previously that women speak about 20,000 words a day - some 13,000 more than the average man. Isn't it contradicting the accusation of mansplaining? How do you interpret this contradiction and which side do you err on?

4. Let's work collaboratively to list down all the words that, like 'mansplaining,' contain a particular gender noun (man, woman, boy, girl, lady, etc.) and are used to describe a particular action taken by one gender to the opposite sex. Do you consider all these words gender-biased and avoid using them intentionally?

---

Agenda:
3:45 ~ 4:00pm Greetings & Free Talk / Ordering Beverage or Meal / Getting Newcomer’s Information
4:00 ~ 4:10pm Opening Remarks / Newcomer’s Self-introduction / Grouping
(Session I)
4:10 ~ 4:50pm Discussion Session (40 mins)
4:50 ~ 5:10pm Summarization (20 mins)
5:10 ~ 5:15pm Regrouping / Instruction Giving / Taking a 10 Minutes Break (Intermission)
(Session II)
5:15 ~ 5:55pm Discussion Session (40 mins)
6:00 ~ 6:20pm Summarization (20 mins)
6:20 ~ 6:30pm Concluding Remarks / Announcements
************************************************************
聚會日期：列於該貼文主題內
聚會時間：請準時 4:00 pm 到 ~ 約 6:30 pm 左右結束
星期六聚會地點：丹堤濟南店
地址、電話：台北市濟南路三段25號 地圖 (02) 2740-2350
捷運站：板南線 忠孝新生站 3 號出口
走法：出忠孝新生站 3 號出口後，沿著巷子(忠孝東路三段10巷)走約 2 分鐘，到了濟南路口，左轉走約 2 分鐘即可看到。
最低消費： 80 元

注意事項：
1. 文章是否需要列印請自行斟酌，但與會者請務必自行列印 Questions for discussion。
2. 與會者請先閱讀過文章，並仔細想過所有的問題，謝謝合作！

給新朋友的話：
1. 請事先準備2~3分鐘的英語自我介紹；會議結束前可能會請你發表1~2分鐘的感想。
2. 請事先閱讀文章以及主持人所提的討論問題，並事先寫下自己所欲發表意見的英文。
3. 全程以英語進行，參加者應具備中等英語會話能力，對任一討論問題，能夠以5到10句英文表達個人見解。
4. 在正式加入之前，可以先來觀摩三次，觀摩者亦須參與討論。正式加入需繳交終身會費 NT$1,000。

[Rock]

Hi, Kooper, mainsplaining or mansplaining? Anyway, it's something new for me to learn. Great.

[Kooper]

Hi, Kooper, mainsplaining or mansplaining? Anyway, it's something new for me to learn. Great.

Hi Rock, good catch! I know it's pretty lousy now. Just don't expect it to be that lousy...

[Rock]

I thought you did it on purpose to see if we are paying attention....

[Luis Ko]

i hadn't known the word so i did look it up, but i didn't notice the typo until i read Rock's reply. i should pay more attention on meeting topics next time..

[Rock]

You only need to pay attention on Kooper's topics. He is giving us hard times now. In fact, if I am too talkative on the meeting, people would accuse me of being a mansplainter. Gotta be more careful now.

[Sherry Liao]

You only need to pay attention on Kooper's topics. He is giving us hard times now. In fact, if I am too talkative on the meeting, people would accuse me of being a mansplainter. Gotta be more careful now.

Hi Rock, mansplainter or mansplainer?

The topic is so interesting.

[Rock]

Good, now you're the only one who's paying attention....

[Kooper]

Albert got sudden notice that he will have to work this Saturday so my topic got brought forward to this Saturday. I'll polish the questions for discussion at my earliest convenience.

[Kooper]

Hi guys, questions have been updated. Hope you like them.

[Kooper]

Attendees(18): Allen(new comer), Wade(new comer), Michael, Gloria, Tashi, JJ, JD, James, Claire, Laura, Wendy, Leon, Howard, Rock, David Jr., Steve, Catherine, Julian

[Kooper]

There has been quite some discussions on 'give somebody the benefit of the doubt' in YOYO Line group.

Here is another expression that's kind of like it but in the opposite way - take something somebody said with a grain of salt.

What's common in both expressions is that there is some doubt about whether what somebody said is truth. In the former case we choose to believe it but in the latter one we choose not to completely believe it.

BTW, it's interesting to find that this term have been commonly used lately because some people are calling for Americans to 'give Trump the benefit of the doubt' so he has a chance prove that he can be a responsible leader.

http://fortune.com/2017/01/17/meg-whitm ... ump-davos/
Conway to CNN host: Why can't you give Trump the benefit of the doubt?
CIA Director Brennan: Give Trump 'benefit of the doubt'
US business looks ready to give its new president the benefit of the doubt

Last, the way the reporter in the video clip uses the term is also impressive: women are continuously robbed of the benefit of the doubt

[Kooper]

Words in the video clip
[0:12] You probably have seen some of these cringe-worthy moments before
[0:19] interrupting, shushing, and holding forth on a topic that he might not be most qualified spokesmen for
[0:30] think piece
[1:28] women are continuously robbed off the benefit of the doubt

Words used in the meeting
to scooch over
an amiable person
a bossy person
to hush somebody, to shush somebody
Somebody is a brown-noser, to brown-nose someone
a patriarchal society, a matriarchal society