7/18(Tue.) love stuff (Host: Luis)

7/18(Tue.) love stuff (Host: Luis)

文章Luis Ko » 週日 7月 09, 2017 9:42 pm

hi, guys, this is Luis again. i'm going to host a meeting on 7/18. originally i prepared two topics. one was backfire effect, the other was love at first sight. now i change my mind. we will only talk about one topic, love at first sight haa~ but then again, since we sometimes would have exciting discussions in the meetings, especially when i'm involved haa~ so i still prepared one bonus question to talk about it in the first session. maybe it will somewhat help us/me to have more effective discussions with others lo~
as to our main topic, guess i'm the one who will be easily attracted by my type of girl when i first time meet them, so i think it will be quite interesting to know what you guys would say about it. and for the bonus question in the second session, that's what i always do to the girls i like. actually i'm still in touch with the girl i adored ten some years ago. though we are not that close, we will still meet each other once in a while. the feeling is good, seeing her happy is still great!! anyway, i've always wondered if it's common for people to do it or, i'm just a weirdo haa~ hope you guys will have time to share your opinions in the meeting lo~ :mrgreen:

Love at first sight is REAL: Gazing into a person's eyes instead of looking at other body parts hints that you're falling for them

University of Chicago researchers say direction of gaze can indicate feelings
They found that where a person looked at another determined 'love or lust'
Students were asked to view photographs of strangers in the study
For people they felt romantic love for they were likely to look in their eyes
But when they just felt lust they were more likely to look at other body parts

A study by University of Chicago researchers suggests the difference between love and lust might be in the eyes after all.
Specifically, where your date looks at you could indicate whether romance or passion is on the cards.
The research found that eye patterns concentrate on a stranger's face if the viewer sees that person as a potential partner in romantic love, but the viewer gazes more at the other person's body if he or she is feeling sexual desire.
Lead author Stephanie Cacioppo of the University of Chicago said that although 'little is currently known about the science of love at first sight or how people fall in love, these patterns of response provide the first clues regarding how automatic attentional processes, such as eye gaze, may differentiate feelings of love from feelings of desire toward strangers.'
The automatic judgment of love or lust can apparently occur in as little as half a second, producing different gaze patterns.
Previous research by Cacioppo has shown that different networks of brain regions are activated by love and sexual desire.
In this study, the team performed two experiments to test visual patterns in an effort to assess two different emotional and cognitive states that are often difficult to disentangle from one another - romantic love and sexual desire (lust).
Male and female students from the University of Geneva viewed a series of black-and-white photographs of persons they had never met.
In part one of the study, participants viewed photos of young, adult heterosexual couples who were looking at or interacting with each other.
In part two, participants viewed photographs of attractive individuals of the opposite sex who were looking directly at the camera or viewer.
None of the photos contained nudity or erotic images.
In both experiments, participants were placed before a computer and asked to look at different blocks of photographs and decide as rapidly and precisely as possible whether they perceived each photograph or the persons in the photograph as eliciting feelings of sexual desire or romantic love.
The study found no significant difference in the time it took subjects to identify romantic love versus sexual desire, which shows how quickly the brain can process both emotions, the researchers believe.
But analysis of the eye-tracking data from the two studies revealed marked differences in eye movement patterns, depending on whether the subjects reported feeling sexual desire or romantic love.
People tended to visually fixate on the face, especially when they said an image elicited a feeling of romantic love.
However, with images that evoked sexual desire, the subjects' eyes moved from the face to fixate on the rest of the body.
The effect was found for male and female participants.
'By identifying eye patterns that are specific to love-related stimuli, the study may contribute to the development of a biomarker that differentiates feelings of romantic love versus sexual desire,' said co-author John Cacioppo, director of the Center for Cognitive and Social Neuroscience.
'An eye-tracking paradigm may eventually offer a new avenue of diagnosis in clinicians' daily practice or for routine clinical exams in psychiatry and/or couple therapy.'

Session one:
1. What do you think of the saying men are more visual than women? Do you agree? Why?
2. Do you have the experience you take a shine to someone, having a liking for them immediately? If so, what were the reasons that make you like them immediately? if not, can you imagine it?
3. What are the differences among a crush, liking and love? Is it possible a person falls in love with someone they only see, maybe several times, without even talking to them? Why?
Bonus question:
When you just met someone you like for the first time, do you think it's possible to tell if the person is fond of you, or not, through "eye contact"? Any other nonverbal to tell the situation? Some say women tend not to show their feelings when it comes to love, at the very beginning. what do you think? How about men? Does the answer differ from women to men?

Session two:
4. “To visually fixate on the face elicits feeling of romantic love, on the rest of the body evokes sexual desire.” What do you think about it?
5. Do you think it’s possible you will fall in love with someone the first time you meet? How do you know you have really fallen in love, or even when it’s not at first sight?
6. Do you know anyone who believes in love at first sight? What are their examples? What does love at first sight mean to you? Love or lust?
Bonus question:
Let’s say, you liked someone, unfortunately they were not into you. Would you still try to be friend with them? Do you think it’s possible you two can still be friends? Why? Would it be different if they have a boyfriend/girlfriend? What exactly would you do if you were in the case?

**Have you heard of Backfire Effect? What’s that? How do you counteract Backfire Effect? It says facts don’t win arguments. How can you have a more effective discussion with others?**

6:45 ~ 7:00pm Greetings & Free Talk / Ordering Beverage or Meal / Getting Newcomer’s Information
7:00 ~ 7:10pm Opening Remarks / Newcomer’s Self-introduction / Grouping
(Session I)
7:10 ~ 7:55pm Discussion Session (45 mins)
7:55 ~ 8:10pm Summarization (15 mins)
8:10 ~ 8:20pm Regrouping / Instruction Giving / Taking a 10 Minutes Break (Intermission)
(Session II)
8:20 ~ 9:05pm Discussion Session (45 mins)
9:05 ~ 9:20pm Summarization (15 mins)
9:20 ~ 9:30pm Concluding Remarks / Announcements
聚會時間:當天請準時於 6:45 pm 到達 ~ 約 9:30 pm 左右結束
地址、電話:台北市濟南路三段25號 (02) 2740-2350
捷運站:板南線 忠孝新生站 3 號出口
走法:出忠孝新生站 3 號出口後,沿著巷子(忠孝東路三段10巷)走約 2 分鐘,到了濟南路口,左轉走約 2 分鐘即可看到。
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i might be a cynic and, a sceptic as well but, i'm definitely not a bad person!!
Luis Ko
YOYO member
文章: 808
註冊時間: 週三 6月 06, 2007 10:18 pm

Re: 7/18(Tue.) love stuff (Host: Luis)

文章Luis Ko » 週二 7月 18, 2017 2:13 pm

please note that the questions have been modified lo~ :mrgreen:
i might be a cynic and, a sceptic as well but, i'm definitely not a bad person!!
Luis Ko
YOYO member
文章: 808
註冊時間: 週三 6月 06, 2007 10:18 pm

Re: 7/18(Tue.) love stuff (Host: Luis)

文章Luis Ko » 週三 7月 19, 2017 9:13 pm

i forgot to share one example from my friend's friend about, or sort of, love at first sight last night. the story is that he met a lady to whom he took a shine in a party. then he decided to approach her but, found out she had got a boyfriend already later. however he didn't want to give her up, so still kept in touch with her after asking her number. and finally they got married. it's quite interesting we also had a similar story yesterday, and Kooper was the man. he "froze", metaphorically i mean, his love toward Gloria, then waited for her for years, and "thawed" it and won her heart finally. the point here is his love never ceased. instead he just froze it haa~ both stories are romantic, aren't them?

by the way, i didn't do a good conclusion last night. what i wanted to say was, it didn't matter if you believed in love at first sight or not. love had to start from a feeling, it could be lust, liking, or even the so-called "love at first". in my opinion, love might not have expiration date, or the date might be marked at the end of your lifetime. but then again, after you got love, you got to preserve it well. you got to love still i mean. love was supposed to be mutual. both parties involved had to love each other. the feeling is mutual. if not, when it became one sided or what, it would decay anytime soon after that. maybe that's why people say love has expiration date.

To recap, i see you. i like you. i love you and, i love you for you are loving me. this is what i always want to say about love. :mrgreen:

Eileen, Johnie, Julian, Ken, Gloria, Morris, Steve, Wen-han, Shirley, Amy, Joseph, Yvonne, Rosie, Liwen, Alicia(2nd), Alice(2nd), Vicky(2nd)

hope i didn't get wrong your names, since i don't have the attendee sheet in hand haa~ anyway, thank you guys for coming. hope you all had a good time last night lo~ ^++++^
i might be a cynic and, a sceptic as well but, i'm definitely not a bad person!!
Luis Ko
YOYO member
文章: 808
註冊時間: 週三 6月 06, 2007 10:18 pm

Re: 7/18(Tue.) love stuff (Host: Luis)

文章Rock » 週四 7月 20, 2017 11:52 pm

It's hard to imagine our host, as someone who boasts for his rationality, is so into such an irrational topic. :lol:

One thing is out of question: once we found love, we'd better keep it. That's why I hate "The Bridges of Madison County". No one forced the woman to marry her husband; their marriage was built on some kind of love, too. She just discarded it because he turned out to be "not in her league" anymore. When she sees the hot man, she just "helplessly" falls for him and has an affair. Yeah, what a true love!

Come to think about it, if the movie is about a husband's betrayal, is it still a touching story? I wonder.

Apparently, someone doesn't appreciate the story, either.
In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock.
Vice President
文章: 1872
註冊時間: 週三 10月 31, 2007 9:03 am

Re: 7/18(Tue.) love stuff (Host: Luis)

文章Luis Ko » 週六 7月 22, 2017 10:58 am

yeah, love is irrational and blind, so before you got married you can be helpless, but then, once you go into marriage you've got to be rational. you've made up your mind rationally so that you decide to get married, don't you? therefore you've got to control yourself. there's no such helplessness for you to be an excuse. at least you got to be adamant do it yourself first, then expect your other half will do the same. otherwise how you can expect you two will hold each other's hand forever??

by the way, i don't appreciate the story either, though i have never seen the movie haa~ :lol:
i might be a cynic and, a sceptic as well but, i'm definitely not a bad person!!
Luis Ko
YOYO member
文章: 808
註冊時間: 週三 6月 06, 2007 10:18 pm

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