12/19(Tue)We thinking about charity dead wrong (Host:Wenhan)
發表於 : 週五 12月 15, 2017 12:16 am
Dear All,
It's me again to be the host for the gathering on 12/19. There are two different topics I like to discuss for this gathering. Please spare some time to watch the short video and article below prior to the meeting. I am hoping to see you all then.
SESSION I: The Way We Think About Charity Is Dead Wrong by Dan Pallotta
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bfAzi6D5FpM
SESSION II: Extreme Marriage Experiment Suggests It’s Better to Be Right Than Happy
http://healthland.time.com/2013/12/17/e ... han-happy/
A New Zealand man who was asked by scientists to agree with everything his wife said had to call off the experiment after 12 days because it was proving so harmful to his mental health.
The study was set up to examine the old marriage advice about whether it’s more important to be happy or to be right. Couples therapists sometimes suggest that in a bid to avoid constant arguments, spouses weigh up whether pressing the point is worth the misery of marital discord. The researchers, who are doctors and professors at the University of Auckland, noticed that many of their patients were adding stress to their lives by insisting on being right, even when it worked against their well-being.
So they found a couple who were willing to record their quality of life on a scale of 1 to 10. They told the man, who wanted to be happy more than right, about the purpose of the study and asked him to agree with every opinion and request his wife had without complaint, even when he profoundly didn’t agree. The wife was not informed of the purpose of the study and just asked to record her quality of life. The results were published in BMJ, albeit in the esteemed publication’s lighthearted Christmas issue.
Things went rapidly downhill for the couple. The man’s quality-of-life scores fell, from 7 to 3, over the course of the experiment. The wife’s scores rose modestly, from 8 to 8.5, before she became hostile to the idea of recording the scores. Rather than causing harmony, the husband’s agreeableness led to the wife becoming increasingly critical of what he did and said (in the husband’s opinion). After 12 days he broke down, made his wife a cup of tea (New Zealand is, after all, a Commonwealth country), and explained the experiment. At this point the Data Safety Monitoring Committee, as the researchers called it, stopped the study because of “severe adverse outcomes.”
“This was a genuine piece of research where we hoped that both parties would be happy as part of one person agreeing with everything the other said,” says the study’s chief author, Dr. Bruce Arroll, who seems to have a pretty well-developed sense of humor. “We thought that we would find a method of creating marital bliss (and probably a Nobel Prize if we had succeeded).”
The researchers concluded, shockingly, that humans need to be right and acknowledged as right, at least some of the time, to be happy. In politics, people often note that there can be no peace without justice, and that’s true of the domestic sphere as well. The researchers also noted that this was further proof that if given too much power, humans tend to “assume the alpha position and, as with chimpanzees, they become very aggressive and dangerous.”
Obviously the results are to be taken with extreme caution, since this was just one couple with who-knows-what underlying issues beforehand. But Arroll maintains that the question of happiness vs. rightness, theoretically, could be settled by scientific inquiry with a wider sample. “This would include a randomized controlled trial,” he says. “However we would be reluctant to do the definitive study because of the concern about divorce or homicide.”
The couple, whose identity is confidential, have reconciled and are even now hopefully having healthy and constructive arguments about whether the husband was right to agree to the experiment.
QUESTIONS:
SESSION I
1a. Did/Do you ever support any non-profit organizations for either the environmental, educational, humanity, religious or political causes in a long-term basis( say, more than 6 months)? What is it/are they? And your reasoning to support it/them?
1b. As stated in the video, most of the donators would expect their donations to go mostly to the needy, after having watched this video, would you agree sometimes it could maximize the dollar by advertising or marketing? Would you agree to donate if 40% of it goes to “overhead”? Why? Or why not?
2. YoYo, as a world class (yet...) English club is also non-profit, let's brainstorm how we may grow it bigger
2a. Did you ever attend any private English institutes to learn or practice English? What was it/were them? How did you like it/them? (Global village, for an example, as a for-profit language institute, comes with thriving business with fancy buildings all around Taiwan) Do you consider any traits for their success to apply on YoYo to help YoYo grow?
2b. If, after having reached a consensus, paying “overhead” helps YoYo’s growth, instead of running by merely volunteers, would you personally agree to this policy? Why? Or why not? If you do, What kind of "overhead” would you agree to pay first? (Reward for president, officers, or hosts, advertisement ...and so on).
3. Tse-chi ( 慈濟) is allegedly the non-profit/charity organization with the most resources in Taiwan ( richest, to make it short). Would you know a bit about its story to make it so big? Could any of the factors building its success be applied on YoYo?
3a. Controversially, Master Miao series ( Miao tian, Miao zen) also successfully attracted thousands of followers to worship them and to even create their societies. Would you happen to know any of their recipes to help apply on YoYo to grow?
SESSION II
4. Do you agree what the research concluded that being right is more important than simply being happy in a marriage? Is this against the saying popular in Taiwan that “Home is a place for emotional not rational “? How about the real situation between you and your husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend regarding being right v.s.being happy? Would you frequently agree to the other’s opinions or requests for the sake of harmony/happiness?
5. For the similar psychological reactions, how about applying the conclusion to parents/children relation? Would you consider the relation healthy if the children are asked to always submit to their parents?( as it goes “ parents are always right” ) What are your stands to this argument, being right or happy, as a parent and as a child? (Or please imagine if you have a child in case you don’t )
6. In your workplace, is being right critical for you? To prove you being right helps your promotion or makes you an alien there? Why? If your opinion is different from your supervisor’s, how would you manage it?
********************************************************************************************************************************************
Agenda:
6:45 ~ 7:00pm Greetings & Free Talk / Ordering Beverage or Meal / Getting Newcomer’s Information
7:00 ~ 7:10pm Opening Remarks / Newcomer’s Self-introduction / Grouping
(Session I)
7:10 ~ 7:50pm Discussion Session (40 mins)
7:50 ~ 8:10pm Summarization (20 mins)
8:10 ~ 8:25pm Regrouping / Instruction Giving / Taking a 10 Minutes Break (Intermission)
(Session II)
8:25 ~ 9:05pm Discussion Session (40 mins)
9:05 ~ 9:25pm Summarization (20 mins)
9:25 ~ 9:30pm Concluding Remarks / Announcements ********************************************************************************************************************************************
聚會日期:列於該貼文主題內
聚會時間:當天請準時於 6:45 pm 到達 ~ 約 9:30 pm 左右結束
星期三聚會地點:丹堤濟南店
地址、電話:台北市濟南路三段25號 地圖 (02) 2740-2350
捷運站:板南線 忠孝新生站 3 號出口
走法:出忠孝新生站 3 號出口後,沿著巷子(忠孝東路三段10巷)走約 2 分鐘,到了濟南路口,左轉走約 2 分鐘即可看到。
最低消費: 80 元
注意事項:
1. 文章是否需要列印請自行斟酌,但與會者請務必自行列印 Questions for discussion。
2. 與會者請先閱讀過文章,並仔細想過所有的問題,謝謝合作!
給新朋友的話:
1. 請事先準備 2~3 分鐘的英語自我介紹;會議結束前可能會請你發表 1~2 分鐘的感想。
2. 請事先閱讀文章以及主持人所提的討論問題,並事先寫下自己所欲發表意見的英文。
3. 全程以英語進行,參加者應具備中等英語會話能力,對任一討論問題,能夠以 5 到 10 句英文表達個人見解。
4. 在正式加入之前,可以先來觀摩三次,觀摩者亦須參與討論。正式加入需繳交終身會費 NT$1,000。
It's me again to be the host for the gathering on 12/19. There are two different topics I like to discuss for this gathering. Please spare some time to watch the short video and article below prior to the meeting. I am hoping to see you all then.
SESSION I: The Way We Think About Charity Is Dead Wrong by Dan Pallotta
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bfAzi6D5FpM
SESSION II: Extreme Marriage Experiment Suggests It’s Better to Be Right Than Happy
http://healthland.time.com/2013/12/17/e ... han-happy/
A New Zealand man who was asked by scientists to agree with everything his wife said had to call off the experiment after 12 days because it was proving so harmful to his mental health.
The study was set up to examine the old marriage advice about whether it’s more important to be happy or to be right. Couples therapists sometimes suggest that in a bid to avoid constant arguments, spouses weigh up whether pressing the point is worth the misery of marital discord. The researchers, who are doctors and professors at the University of Auckland, noticed that many of their patients were adding stress to their lives by insisting on being right, even when it worked against their well-being.
So they found a couple who were willing to record their quality of life on a scale of 1 to 10. They told the man, who wanted to be happy more than right, about the purpose of the study and asked him to agree with every opinion and request his wife had without complaint, even when he profoundly didn’t agree. The wife was not informed of the purpose of the study and just asked to record her quality of life. The results were published in BMJ, albeit in the esteemed publication’s lighthearted Christmas issue.
Things went rapidly downhill for the couple. The man’s quality-of-life scores fell, from 7 to 3, over the course of the experiment. The wife’s scores rose modestly, from 8 to 8.5, before she became hostile to the idea of recording the scores. Rather than causing harmony, the husband’s agreeableness led to the wife becoming increasingly critical of what he did and said (in the husband’s opinion). After 12 days he broke down, made his wife a cup of tea (New Zealand is, after all, a Commonwealth country), and explained the experiment. At this point the Data Safety Monitoring Committee, as the researchers called it, stopped the study because of “severe adverse outcomes.”
“This was a genuine piece of research where we hoped that both parties would be happy as part of one person agreeing with everything the other said,” says the study’s chief author, Dr. Bruce Arroll, who seems to have a pretty well-developed sense of humor. “We thought that we would find a method of creating marital bliss (and probably a Nobel Prize if we had succeeded).”
The researchers concluded, shockingly, that humans need to be right and acknowledged as right, at least some of the time, to be happy. In politics, people often note that there can be no peace without justice, and that’s true of the domestic sphere as well. The researchers also noted that this was further proof that if given too much power, humans tend to “assume the alpha position and, as with chimpanzees, they become very aggressive and dangerous.”
Obviously the results are to be taken with extreme caution, since this was just one couple with who-knows-what underlying issues beforehand. But Arroll maintains that the question of happiness vs. rightness, theoretically, could be settled by scientific inquiry with a wider sample. “This would include a randomized controlled trial,” he says. “However we would be reluctant to do the definitive study because of the concern about divorce or homicide.”
The couple, whose identity is confidential, have reconciled and are even now hopefully having healthy and constructive arguments about whether the husband was right to agree to the experiment.
QUESTIONS:
SESSION I
1a. Did/Do you ever support any non-profit organizations for either the environmental, educational, humanity, religious or political causes in a long-term basis( say, more than 6 months)? What is it/are they? And your reasoning to support it/them?
1b. As stated in the video, most of the donators would expect their donations to go mostly to the needy, after having watched this video, would you agree sometimes it could maximize the dollar by advertising or marketing? Would you agree to donate if 40% of it goes to “overhead”? Why? Or why not?
2. YoYo, as a world class (yet...) English club is also non-profit, let's brainstorm how we may grow it bigger
2a. Did you ever attend any private English institutes to learn or practice English? What was it/were them? How did you like it/them? (Global village, for an example, as a for-profit language institute, comes with thriving business with fancy buildings all around Taiwan) Do you consider any traits for their success to apply on YoYo to help YoYo grow?
2b. If, after having reached a consensus, paying “overhead” helps YoYo’s growth, instead of running by merely volunteers, would you personally agree to this policy? Why? Or why not? If you do, What kind of "overhead” would you agree to pay first? (Reward for president, officers, or hosts, advertisement ...and so on).
3. Tse-chi ( 慈濟) is allegedly the non-profit/charity organization with the most resources in Taiwan ( richest, to make it short). Would you know a bit about its story to make it so big? Could any of the factors building its success be applied on YoYo?
3a. Controversially, Master Miao series ( Miao tian, Miao zen) also successfully attracted thousands of followers to worship them and to even create their societies. Would you happen to know any of their recipes to help apply on YoYo to grow?
SESSION II
4. Do you agree what the research concluded that being right is more important than simply being happy in a marriage? Is this against the saying popular in Taiwan that “Home is a place for emotional not rational “? How about the real situation between you and your husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend regarding being right v.s.being happy? Would you frequently agree to the other’s opinions or requests for the sake of harmony/happiness?
5. For the similar psychological reactions, how about applying the conclusion to parents/children relation? Would you consider the relation healthy if the children are asked to always submit to their parents?( as it goes “ parents are always right” ) What are your stands to this argument, being right or happy, as a parent and as a child? (Or please imagine if you have a child in case you don’t )
6. In your workplace, is being right critical for you? To prove you being right helps your promotion or makes you an alien there? Why? If your opinion is different from your supervisor’s, how would you manage it?
********************************************************************************************************************************************
Agenda:
6:45 ~ 7:00pm Greetings & Free Talk / Ordering Beverage or Meal / Getting Newcomer’s Information
7:00 ~ 7:10pm Opening Remarks / Newcomer’s Self-introduction / Grouping
(Session I)
7:10 ~ 7:50pm Discussion Session (40 mins)
7:50 ~ 8:10pm Summarization (20 mins)
8:10 ~ 8:25pm Regrouping / Instruction Giving / Taking a 10 Minutes Break (Intermission)
(Session II)
8:25 ~ 9:05pm Discussion Session (40 mins)
9:05 ~ 9:25pm Summarization (20 mins)
9:25 ~ 9:30pm Concluding Remarks / Announcements ********************************************************************************************************************************************
聚會日期:列於該貼文主題內
聚會時間:當天請準時於 6:45 pm 到達 ~ 約 9:30 pm 左右結束
星期三聚會地點:丹堤濟南店
地址、電話:台北市濟南路三段25號 地圖 (02) 2740-2350
捷運站:板南線 忠孝新生站 3 號出口
走法:出忠孝新生站 3 號出口後,沿著巷子(忠孝東路三段10巷)走約 2 分鐘,到了濟南路口,左轉走約 2 分鐘即可看到。
最低消費: 80 元
注意事項:
1. 文章是否需要列印請自行斟酌,但與會者請務必自行列印 Questions for discussion。
2. 與會者請先閱讀過文章,並仔細想過所有的問題,謝謝合作!
給新朋友的話:
1. 請事先準備 2~3 分鐘的英語自我介紹;會議結束前可能會請你發表 1~2 分鐘的感想。
2. 請事先閱讀文章以及主持人所提的討論問題,並事先寫下自己所欲發表意見的英文。
3. 全程以英語進行,參加者應具備中等英語會話能力,對任一討論問題,能夠以 5 到 10 句英文表達個人見解。
4. 在正式加入之前,可以先來觀摩三次,觀摩者亦須參與討論。正式加入需繳交終身會費 NT$1,000。