08/28 (Tue) It's Not About The Nail (Host: Janice)

08/28 (Tue) It's Not About The Nail (Host: Janice)

文章Janice Wang » 週二 8月 21, 2018 10:02 pm

This is Janice, your host for the meeting on 08/28.

A one minute and forty-two second short clip - It’s Not About The Nail, is the topic for the upcoming gathering. This video has gone viral with over 17 million views and continues to remain captivating and relevant.

Our discussion is going to revolve around this sensational video, including the backdrop soundtrack – We Can Work It Out, covered in session II. Let’s unleash our imagination on this comedic back-and-forth and explore some of the underlying lessons this video may imply.

Please do not feel intimidated by a sea of questions! I’m sure it won’t be “the nail” for you to ditch the meeting!

Here you go and enjoy!

Session I It’s Not About The Nail

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-4EDhdAHrOg


Questions for session I

1a) Does your view tally with the title – “It’s Not About The Nail”? If so, what is it about then?
1b) Do you think the clip nailed it? What made the clip seize attention from over 17 million views?
1c) Does the clip give you déjà vu in life? Do you think it appropriately depicts most relationships nowadays or is this just another video targeting gender stereotype?

2) Do you resonate with the saying - “A man’s face is his autobiography. A woman’s face is her work of fiction” after watching the clip? Let’s discuss how true the saying is by delving into the following topic-related questions:

2a) Why do you think the woman ignored the nail and continued to live with what appeared to be the cause of her suffering? Does this situation apply to women more often, why?
2b) Do you think the man caved in too quickly to “the peace” and embraced the “political correctness” while paying very little heed to the real problem? Is this a typical man’s approach to problem solving in a relationship? How practical is this approach?
2c) Why was it so hard for the man/woman to get their heads around “the nail” in the clip? Can “just listen”, the woman’s pleading in the clip, work their problem out perfectly? Do you think such problem will snowball itself into a more alarming one or will it disappear when it runs its course as time goes on? Why?

3a) How do men and women unburden themselves from a problem? What do they do differently? How about yourself? Would you take gender into consideration while seeking or giving advices from/to different people? Why/not?
3b) Would you consider different approaches or attitudes while facing a problem with a different gender? Why and how?

Session II We Can Work It Out

The background music to the clip, We Can Work It Out, is one of The Beatles’ classic songs.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Qyclqo_AV2M
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=uznnHd5thXE (Stevie Wonder’s version used by the clip)

The lyrics ~

Try to see it my way
Do I have to keep on talking till I can't go on
While you see it your way
Run the risk of knowing that our love may soon be gone
We can work it out
We can work it out
Think of what you're saying
You can get it wrong and still you think that it's alright
Think of what I'm saying
We can work it out and get it straight, or say good night
We can work it out
We can work it out
Life is very short, and there's no time
For fussing and fighting, my friend
I have always thought that it's a crime
So, I will ask you once again
Try to see it my way
Only time will tell if I am right or I am wrong
While you see it your way
There's a chance that we might fall apart before too long
We can work it out
We can work it out
(Ditto)

Questions for session II (simply derived from the lyrics)

4a) Do you consider the lyrics an ultimatum? Why/not? Do you perceive an ultimatum as a threat or a solution to a troubling relationship? Have you or people you know ever given/received an ultimatum?
4b) Would you bail from such relationship? What are some of the deciding factors that would make you nix or fix it?

5a) Given the lyricist never entertained the idea of seeing other people’s way but insisted on his own way, what is your take on such mindset – “my way or the highway”? Can things actually get resolved with such mindset? Any example to share?
5b)The lyrics suggest that fussing and fighting are crimes as life is too short to waste time in doing so. Do you second this view? What is your definition of fighting and fussing in a relationship? How can we “walk the talk” in practicing such belief in life?

6) What is your golden rule in maintaining a harmonious relationship, or life in general, when encountering conflicts with others over your own preference and stance?



*******************************************************************************************************************************************
Agenda:
6:50~ 7:00pm Greetings & Free Talk / Ordering Beverage or Meal / Getting Newcomer’s Information
7:00 ~ 7:20pm Opening Remarks / Newcomer’s Self-introduction / Grouping
(Session I)
7:20 ~ 8:00pm Discussion Session (40 mins)
8:00 ~ 8:20pm Summarization (20 mins)
8:20 ~ 8:30pm Regrouping / Instruction Giving / Taking a 10 Minutes Break (Intermission)
(Session II)
8:30 ~ 9:10pm Discussion Session (40 mins)
9:10 ~ 9:30pm Summarization / Concluding Remarks / Announcements (20 mins)
********************************************************************************************************************************************
聚會日期:列於該貼文主題內
聚會時間:請準時 7:00 pm 到 ~ 約 9:30 pm 左右結束
星期二聚會地點:丹堤濟南店
地址、電話:台北市濟南路三段25號 地圖 (02) 2740-2350
捷運站:板南線 忠孝新生站 3 號出口
走法:出忠孝新生站 3 號出口後,沿著巷子(忠孝東路三段10巷)走約 2 分鐘,到了濟南路口,左轉走約 2 分鐘即可看到。
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4. 在正式加入之前,可以先來觀摩三次,觀摩者亦須參與討論。正式加入需繳交終身會費 NT$1,000。
最後由 Janice Wang 於 週日 8月 26, 2018 9:12 pm 編輯,總共編輯了 1 次。
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Re: 08/28 (Tue) It's Not About The Nail (Host: Janice)

文章Luis Ko » 週三 8月 22, 2018 10:34 pm

right, girls might always say it's not about the nail, and then men would reply that i know, of course not, it's about (hitting) the nail on the head haaa~ :lol:
最後由 Luis Ko 於 週四 8月 23, 2018 9:59 am 編輯,總共編輯了 1 次。
i might be a cynic and, a sceptic as well but, i'm definitely not a bad person!!
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Re: 08/28 (Tue) It's Not About The Nail (Host: Janice)

文章Janice Wang » 週四 8月 23, 2018 9:00 am

Luis Ko 寫:right, girls might say it's not about the nail, and then men would reply that i know, of course not, it's about hitting the nail on the head haaa~ 8)





Luis, I can’t agree with you more, but how? If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. I think for some couples that are as hard as nails, they might end up going at each other’s tooth and nail if they can’t hit the nail right on the head!
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Re: 08/28 (Tue) It's Not About The Nail (Host: Janice)

文章Luis Ko » 週四 8月 23, 2018 9:50 am

Janice Wang 寫:
Luis Ko 寫:right, girls might say it's not about the nail, and then men would reply that i know, of course not, it's about hitting the nail on the head haaa~ 8)





Luis, I can’t agree with you more, but how? If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. I think for some couples that are as hard as nails, they might end up going at each other’s tooth and nail if they can’t hit the nail right on the head!




it's about people's luck i would say. if people are lucky enough to meet the right persons, they will never be end up that way. but then, that's life, if i may say so. and life is difficult sometimes, if not always lo~ 8)
i might be a cynic and, a sceptic as well but, i'm definitely not a bad person!!
Luis Ko
YOYO member
 
文章: 807
註冊時間: 週三 6月 06, 2007 10:18 pm

Re: 08/28 (Tue) It's Not About The Nail (Host: Janice)

文章Janice Wang » 週四 8月 23, 2018 8:40 pm

Luis Ko 寫:
Janice Wang 寫:
Luis Ko 寫:right, girls might say it's not about the nail, and then men would reply that i know, of course not, it's about hitting the nail on the head haaa~ 8)





Luis, I can’t agree with you more, but how? If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. I think for some couples that are as hard as nails, they might end up going at each other’s tooth and nail if they can’t hit the nail right on the head!




it's about people's luck i would say. if people are lucky enough to meet the right persons, they will never be end up that way. but then, that's life, if i may say so. and life is difficult sometimes, if not always lo~ 8)



Ya, life is simple, it’s just not easy. However, when it comes to “relationship”, I think “A lucky relationship is created, not discovered.” As being lucky in love isn’t like being struck by lightning — it’s a lot less random and painful, even though (sometimes) pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional! Like the woman in the clip, unable to identify the root cause of her pain, which the man couldn’t be much help of with his approach either.

Hope we can spark some insightful ideas on 8/28.
Janice Wang
YOYO member
 
文章: 38
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Re: 08/28 (Tue) It's Not About The Nail (Host: Janice)

文章Rock » 週四 8月 23, 2018 10:36 pm

The video is hilarious. Are you sure that we won't be accused as male chauvinists if we say that we like it?
In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock.
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Re: 08/28 (Tue) It's Not About The Nail (Host: Janice)

文章Rock » 週四 8月 23, 2018 11:38 pm

Janice Wang 寫:... I think “A lucky relationship is created, not discovered.” ...


I agree, but sometimes there are dilemmas.

One of my friends married a smart woman. After the wedding, she asked the husband to give her NT.25,000 at her disposal every month. (If you were him, what would be your reply? Yes, or no?)

To create a good relationship, he said yes. Several years later, he was curious and he asked about what she did to the money. She said that since she respects his privacy and never asks him about his money, she wanted him not to ask about "her money", either. She made it very clear that many wives demand their husbands' full pay check; she is very generous to allow him to keep most of his own money.

What should he do? :shock:
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Re: 08/28 (Tue) It's Not About The Nail (Host: Janice)

文章Janice Wang » 週五 8月 24, 2018 9:41 am

Rock 寫:The video is hilarious. Are you sure that we won't be accused as male chauvinists if we say that we like it?


Rock,
Glad that we share the same sense of humor regarding the video.

There are almost 100,000 likes for this clip on youtube. “Talk the talk, but does not walk the walk” probably won’t land a person with a title that ends with "-ist" as it takes time, effort, and “achievements” to be crowned; moreover, you gotta beat them to earn the "crown"!
最後由 Janice Wang 於 週五 8月 24, 2018 1:23 pm 編輯,總共編輯了 1 次。
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Re: 08/28 (Tue) It's Not About The Nail (Host: Janice)

文章Janice Wang » 週五 8月 24, 2018 10:07 am

Rock 寫:
Janice Wang 寫:... I think “A lucky relationship is created, not discovered.” ...


I agree, but sometimes there are dilemmas.

One of my friends married a smart woman. After the wedding, she asked the husband to give her NT.25,000 at her disposal........
What should he do? :shock:



Rock, What a precious case to me! Why didn’t I come up with such a great idea right after I got hitched?!

My answer to your question is, like it or not, no matter how obvious, bizarre, or unfair someone else's problem may seem to us, we do not have access to what is going on inside their head; specifically it involves one’s relationship. As our active or passive interference or kind suggestions might backfire and become a nail on my/your head! Also, giving them a real chance to solve the problem themselves is a necessary lesson, and the only thing we can offer is to be good listeners and not repeat their mistakes in our own relationship. That is my interpretation to "A lucky relationship is created, not discovered."

Last but not least, “If money can fix /solve a problem, then it really isn't a problem.”
最後由 Janice Wang 於 週五 8月 24, 2018 11:52 pm 編輯,總共編輯了 1 次。
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Re: 08/28 (Tue) It's Not About The Nail (Host: Janice)

文章Luis Ko » 週五 8月 24, 2018 5:08 pm

Rock 寫:The video is hilarious. Are you sure that we won't be accused as male chauvinists if we say that we like it?




right, Rock is right , he is always right i would say haa~ we men can't be male chauvinists so, the scenario could also be girls know exactly the nail is on the head but, men just replied," nail?" "is there a nail?" or "where is the nail?" :lol:
i might be a cynic and, a sceptic as well but, i'm definitely not a bad person!!
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文章: 807
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Re: 08/28 (Tue) It's Not About The Nail (Host: Janice)

文章Iris Wu » 週日 8月 26, 2018 9:12 am

If I may say so, sorry, the first video is a gender stereotype, or most people taking from that point of view!
Let’s think from a different angle, when you give advice to people, does it work better for men or women? Has your advice been taken better by men or by women? The right answer may be by each individual, not by gender, but my bias is that my advice in general has been better taken by ladies.

Women actually know they have nail on the head, men do not even know they hold a hammer to sweep people away. Right, this is my gender bias to strike back the partiality created by that video! :)

Did the video nail it? Not really! As some people pointed it out, it only scratched the tip of the iceberg! It is a great topic to effectively promote the awareness of the issue! It’s not about the nail, then what is it? We can take from gender stereotype viewpoint for a fun conversation, but we need to further nail it down so as not to downplay the issue.
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Re: 08/28 (Tue) It's Not About The Nail (Host: Janice)

文章Janice Wang » 週日 8月 26, 2018 9:30 pm

Iris Wu 寫:If I may say so, sorry, the first video is a gender stereotype, or most people taking from that point of view!
Let’s think from a different angle, when you give advice to people, does it work better for men or women? Has your advice been taken better and more by men or by women....


Iris, thanks for your comments . They are valuable as always!

At the face of this short video clip, it seems to be mainly linked to the fundamental dynamic between men and women in its simplest form over a common problem on communication. However, I don’t 100% agree that this is universally a man v.s. woman thing, as the same scenario did frequently occur between me and my then teenage daughter. That’s the question 1c) partially served its purpose, and I have also adopted your excellent views to facilitate a broader discussion over gender issue. Please see above for revised questions.

In our society, gender stereotype is deep rooted, take me as an example, some people define me based on my hair style, outfit, or personality and give an ambiguously incorrect gender identity. Should I contribute this ambiguity to gender stereotype? Yes, is my answer. However, it doesn’t bother me as it has nothing to do with gender bias and I don’t feel any unfairness or discrimination, which perfectly depicts my perspective toward the video I selected for hosting.

I hope that we can tackle the topic with an open attitude to understand and embrace the differences between genders in a fun way as you suggested for our upcoming gathering.

Looking forward to seeing all of you at the meeting on 08/28.
Janice Wang
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Re: 08/28 (Tue) It's Not About The Nail (Host: Janice)

文章Rock » 週一 8月 27, 2018 7:45 pm

Iris Wu 寫:...the first video is a gender stereotype...


Hi, Iris, I agree with you. This is a typical stereotype, but...

https://www.amsterdamuas.com/binaries/content/assets/subsites/international-business-school-ibs/chapter-4-stereotypes-prejudices-racism.pdf?1446654473610

"Everybody knows some jokes about stereotypes of a cultural group. The most common is the one about “Hell and Heaven”. This joke begins:
Heaven is a place where: The police are British, the chefs are French, the lovers are Italian, and everything is organized by the Germans.
Hell is a place where: The police are French, the chefs are British, the lovers are Germans, and everything is organized by the Italian.
The fact that people in each cited country can have a laugh suggests that there is a grain of truth in this joke."

I guess you just made the coming discussion more interesting. :lol:
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Re: 08/28 (Tue) It's Not About The Nail (Host: Janice)

文章Arthur » 週二 8月 28, 2018 6:51 pm

Hi Janice

They looks great topics but unfortunately I "must" work overtime tonight. 殘念!! Look forward to seeing you guys soon.@@ .

Janice Wang 寫:This is Janice, your host for the meeting on 08/28.

A one minute and forty-two second short clip - It’s Not About The Nail, is the topic for the upcoming gathering. This video has gone viral with over 17 million views and continues to remain captivating and relevant.

Our discussion is going to revolve around this sensational video, including the backdrop soundtrack – We Can Work It Out, covered in session II. Let’s unleash our imagination on this comedic back-and-forth and explore some of the underlying lessons this video may imply.

Please do not feel intimidated by a sea of questions! I’m sure it won’t be “the nail” for you to ditch the meeting!

Here you go and enjoy!

Session I It’s Not About The Nail

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-4EDhdAHrOg


Questions for session I

1a) Does your view tally with the title – “It’s Not About The Nail”? If so, what is it about then?
1b) Do you think the clip nailed it? What made the clip seize attention from over 17 million views?
1c) Does the clip give you déjà vu in life? Do you think it appropriately depicts most relationships nowadays or is this just another video targeting gender stereotype?

2) Do you resonate with the saying - “A man’s face is his autobiography. A woman’s face is her work of fiction” after watching the clip? Let’s discuss how true the saying is by delving into the following topic-related questions:

2a) Why do you think the woman ignored the nail and continued to live with what appeared to be the cause of her suffering? Does this situation apply to women more often, why?
2b) Do you think the man caved in too quickly to “the peace” and embraced the “political correctness” while paying very little heed to the real problem? Is this a typical man’s approach to problem solving in a relationship? How practical is this approach?
2c) Why was it so hard for the man/woman to get their heads around “the nail” in the clip? Can “just listen”, the woman’s pleading in the clip, work their problem out perfectly? Do you think such problem will snowball itself into a more alarming one or will it disappear when it runs its course as time goes on? Why?

3a) How do men and women unburden themselves from a problem? What do they do differently? How about yourself? Would you take gender into consideration while seeking or giving advices from/to different people? Why/not?
3b) Would you consider different approaches or attitudes while facing a problem with a different gender? Why and how?

Session II We Can Work It Out

The background music to the clip, We Can Work It Out, is one of The Beatles’ classic songs.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Qyclqo_AV2M
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=uznnHd5thXE (Stevie Wonder’s version used by the clip)

The lyrics ~

Try to see it my way
Do I have to keep on talking till I can't go on
While you see it your way
Run the risk of knowing that our love may soon be gone
We can work it out
We can work it out
Think of what you're saying
You can get it wrong and still you think that it's alright
Think of what I'm saying
We can work it out and get it straight, or say good night
We can work it out
We can work it out
Life is very short, and there's no time
For fussing and fighting, my friend
I have always thought that it's a crime
So, I will ask you once again
Try to see it my way
Only time will tell if I am right or I am wrong
While you see it your way
There's a chance that we might fall apart before too long
We can work it out
We can work it out
(Ditto)

Questions for session II (simply derived from the lyrics)

4a) Do you consider the lyrics an ultimatum? Why/not? Do you perceive an ultimatum as a threat or a solution to a troubling relationship? Have you or people you know ever given/received an ultimatum?
4b) Would you bail from such relationship? What are some of the deciding factors that would make you nix or fix it?

5a) Given the lyricist never entertained the idea of seeing other people’s way but insisted on his own way, what is your take on such mindset – “my way or the highway”? Can things actually get resolved with such mindset? Any example to share?
5b)The lyrics suggest that fussing and fighting are crimes as life is too short to waste time in doing so. Do you second this view? What is your definition of fighting and fussing in a relationship? How can we “walk the talk” in practicing such belief in life?

6) What is your golden rule in maintaining a harmonious relationship, or life in general, when encountering conflicts with others over your own preference and stance?



*******************************************************************************************************************************************
Agenda:
6:50~ 7:00pm Greetings & Free Talk / Ordering Beverage or Meal / Getting Newcomer’s Information
7:00 ~ 7:20pm Opening Remarks / Newcomer’s Self-introduction / Grouping
(Session I)
7:20 ~ 8:00pm Discussion Session (40 mins)
8:00 ~ 8:20pm Summarization (20 mins)
8:20 ~ 8:30pm Regrouping / Instruction Giving / Taking a 10 Minutes Break (Intermission)
(Session II)
8:30 ~ 9:10pm Discussion Session (40 mins)
9:10 ~ 9:30pm Summarization / Concluding Remarks / Announcements (20 mins) ********************************************************************************************************************************************
聚會日期:列於該貼文主題內
聚會時間:請準時 7:00 pm 到 ~ 約 9:30 pm 左右結束
星期二聚會地點:丹堤濟南店
地址、電話:台北市濟南路三段25號 地圖 (02) 2740-2350
捷運站:板南線 忠孝新生站 3 號出口
走法:出忠孝新生站 3 號出口後,沿著巷子(忠孝東路三段10巷)走約 2 分鐘,到了濟南路口,左轉走約 2 分鐘即可看到。
最低消費: 80 元

注意事項:
1. 文章是否需要列印請自行斟酌,但與會者請務必自行列印 Questions for discussion。
2. 與會者請先閱讀過文章,並仔細想過所有的問題,謝謝合作!

給新朋友的話:
1. 請事先準備2~3分鐘的英語自我介紹。
2. 請事先閱讀文章以及主持人所提的討論問題,並事先寫下自己所欲發表意見的英文。
3. 全程以英語進行,參加者應具備中等英語會話能力,對任一討論問題,能夠以5到10句英文表達個人見解。
4. 在正式加入之前,可以先來觀摩三次,觀摩者亦須參與討論。正式加入需繳交終身會費 NT$1,000。
========
厚積而薄發!
========
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Arthur
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文章: 451
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來自: Taipei

Re: 08/28 (Tue) It's Not About The Nail (Host: Janice)

文章Janice Wang » 週二 8月 28, 2018 10:51 pm

Hi Arthur,

No worries, even though I somehow felt you must have had a lot to share about the topic.
Too bad to have missed out on your opinions!

See you around, be cool at your work!
Janice Wang
YOYO member
 
文章: 38
註冊時間: 週六 3月 25, 2017 7:45 pm

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