12/1(Sat.) Having a work spouse (Gloria Lo)

[Gloria Lo]

Hello, everyone. This is Gloria. It's my honor and pleasure to host again.
According to Wikipedia, "Work spouse" is a phrase, mostly in American English, referring to a co-worker, usually of the opposite sex, with whom one shares a special relationship, having bonds similar to those of a marriage. A work spouse may not just be a co-worker, but can also be someone in a similar field who the individual works closely with from a partnering company. A "work spouse" is also referred to as "workplace spouse", "work wife", or "office husband", "work husband", or "wusband".

This phrase 'work spouse' is still new to Taiwanese.
I think it would be a very interesting topic for us. Let's explore more about it.
Welcome to the meeting and enjoy the quality company of good friends.

Please choose one of the links below to read or watch.
1.Having a work spouse makes you happier
http://www.bbc.com/capital/story/20161106-having-a-work-spouse-makes-you-happier

2.Here's Why You Should Have A Work Spouse (4 min)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTsHTnWgkdk



Optional references
Wikipedea---Work spouse
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Work_spouse




Questions for discussion
session 1
1.Please describe the work-spouse-related phenomenon in your work place. Do you think it acceptable in our society here in Taiwan or other Asian countries? Why?

2.What are the pros and cons of having a work spouse?

3.Do you want a work spouse in your work place? Male or female? Why or why not? If you do, please describe their personality and what benefits you want from them.

4.How to maintain the relationship with your work spouse and get the most out of it?

5. What’s the difference between having a work spouse, an affair, and a work ally?


Session 2
6.Where is the line you think we should never cross with work spouse, why? And how do you draw the line?
(Teasing/ flirting/working overtime overnight with them/ drinking overnight with them/sharing intimacy/sharing details of your personal life you would not even share with your family members and friends/emotional infidelity/showing vulnerability with them which we dare not to share in front of your real spouse/participating in each other’s family events….)

7.Can you accept that your real spouse has a work spouse? Why? Under what conditions can you more accept that?

8.From the aspect of a real spouse, what’s the biggest insecurity about work spouse? How can they overcome it?

9.In the survey, only two people said they had romantic relationship with their work spouse. Do you believe it? What are the possible explanations for the low number?

10.Given the fact that people spend at least 8 hours a day in the workplace and moral issues aside, do you agree that people have two real spouses, one in the office and the other at home? Please explain your reasons.

Bonus question
＊After today’s discussion, will you look for a work spouse and support the concept in the near future?





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Agenda:
3:50 ~ 4:00pm Greetings & Free Talk / Ordering Beverage or Meal / Getting Newcomer’s Information
4:00 ~ 4:20pm Opening Remarks / Newcomer’s Self-introduction / Grouping
(Session I)
4:20 ~ 5:00pm Discussion Session (40 mins)
5:00 ~ 5:20pm Summarization (20 mins)
5:20 ~ 5:30pm Regrouping / Instruction Giving / Taking a 10 Minutes Break (Intermission)
(Session II)
5:30~ 6:10pm Discussion Session (40 mins)
6:10~ 6:30pm Summarization / Concluding Remarks / Announcements(20 mins)
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聚會日期：列於該貼文主題內
聚會時間：請準時 4:00 pm 到 ~ 約 6:30 pm 左右結束
星期六聚會地點：丹堤濟南店
地址、電話：台北市濟南路三段25號 地圖 (02) 2740-2350
捷運站：板南線 忠孝新生站 3 號出口
走法：出忠孝新生站 3 號出口後，沿著巷子(忠孝東路三段10巷)走約 2 分鐘，到了濟南路口，左轉走約 2 分鐘即可看到。
最低消費： 80 元

[Kooper]

Q1.Please describe the work-spouse-related phenomenon in your work place. Do you think it acceptable in our society here in Taiwan or other Asian countries? Why?

I feel work spouse is still an eye-rolling subject, if not a stigma, in our society. Two of my colleagues, one married, used to go lunch alone very often. They also clicked well at work. Not long afterwards rumor had it that they were having an affair, though I had never witnessed any cross-the-line intimate interactions among them. Their professional reputation was more of less impaired by the label.

Q2.What are the pros and cons of having a work spouse?

Like it or not, sleep time aside, most of us spend more time with co-workers or business partners than family. Having a work spouse is like having a close friend, an ally at work, who always gets our back. We will feel more accepted, secured and happier in the line of duty. That leads to better productivity and higher satisfaction with work.

The downside stems from its ambiguous nature. Work husbands or wives is a relationship resting somewhere between intimate friends and spouses, an area full of shades of grey. Chance isn't fat that the platonic bond might someday evolves into a romantic one and hurt their own families.

[Gloria Lo]

Kooper, thank you for reply.

According to the YouTube video I posted, I think "Work BFF" (Work Best Friend Forever) might be a better term in Taiwan and also in some western societies.In my workplace, a married female colleague and a guy with girlfriend are Work BFFs. They also interact frequently with others, but they sit together, eat together, talk a lot. They look so positive and enjoy their job so much, having marvelous working performance as well. Rumors rise, of course, but I have never suspected their friendship. In my opinion, if you are "growing feeling with the passing of time "type, "work spouse" or "work BFFs " concepts are not suitable for you.

[Kooper]

Attendees(20): Alex Hung, Andy Liu, Antonio, Catherine, Gloria (host), Holly, Jacy (newcomer), Julian, Kat, Ken, Kooper, Luis, Robert, Sabrina, Sally, Stephen Chiu, Steve Cheng, Timothy, Tom Lee, Way, Wu

[Michael-liu]

if you are "growing feeling with the passing of time "type, "work spouse" or "work BFFs " concepts are not suitable for you.

Good point. I guess I am this kind of 日久生情 type. So, the close "friendship" between your colleagues is really beyond my imagination. To me, if I always sit together, eat together, chat together with a female colleague, it is almost impossible for me not to develop a romantic feeling to her.

So, Gloria, please keep me posted about their relationship. I really look forward to knowing where their close friendship will go to in the future.

[Gloria Lo]

Hi, Michael,
Thanks for your reply.

It's good to know which type we belong to. Based on the discussion and conclusion of the meeting, most male members wish that they had an opposite gender work spouse, but few are lucky to have one.

Some of them worry about the subsequent romance or alarming rumors, thinking that would damage their reputation in the workplace, while others don't worry at all; actually, they EMBRACE the possible romantic moments. HAHA

Other than that, several attendees mentioned that “work spouse” might not be a good term, especially for Asian societies, for it could cause a lot of unnecessary problems when it comes to challenging the conventional concepts of “Monogamy”.
“Work partner” or “Best friend at work” could be a better choice.

Needless to say, some members shared their own stories about work spouse. But, with all my respect, I think they’re privy to the meeting participants.