12/14(Sat.) Something About Loneliness (Host: Stephen)

12/14(Sat.) Something About Loneliness (Host: Stephen)

文章stephen185 » 週四 12月 05, 2019 10:33 pm

Something About Loneliness

Everybody feels lonely every now and then. You may experience loneliness when moving to a new city, having no one to sit next to at lunch, or finding nobody to spend time with during weekends. This occasional feeling has, however, become chronic for tons of people over the last few decades. As we are living in the most connected era in human history, an unprecedented number of us are feeling socially disconnected. In fact, loneliness has been considered epidemic today. And Britain even appointed a minister for loneliness last year. The following are some research findings about loneliness that may surprise you.
* One-third of Taiwan's 18 million adults have felt a sense of loneliness. ([3], 2014)
* In the U.S., 46% of entire population sometimes or always feeling lonely. ([4], 2018)
* In the U.K., 40% of 16 to 24-year-olds often or very often feel lonely, compared with 27% of over 75s. ([2], 2018)
* People who feel lonely score higher on empathy. ([2], 2018)
* Loneliness is the number one fear of Millennials in the U.K.—ranking ahead of losing a home or a job.([12], 2016)
* In Japan, there are more than half a million people under 40 who haven’t left their house or interacted with anyone for at least six months. ([7], 2019)
* There are more than 1 million hikikomori (recluses) in Japan. ([9], 2019)
* Higher levels of loneliness are observed in young people than older age groups across cultures, countries, and genders. ([2, 8])

Although feeling lonely for a short period of time does not harm your health much, chronic loneliness can be fatal. According to a research published by Julianne Holt-Lunstad of Brigham Young University, loneliness is twice as deadly as obesity and can kill you as fast as smoking a pack of cigarettes a day [5]. Loneliness produces stress hormones that can lead to inflammation and other health problems. It can also make cancer deadlier, Alzheimer's advance faster, your immune systems weaker, and the worst, make you age quicker[10,11].

So, what can we do about loneliness? You may find some useful tips for coping with loneliness and interesting materials for discussion in the two videos listed below. I would like to encourage you to finish watching these videos before coming to the meeting.
* Loneliness - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n3Xv_g3g-mA (12’29”).
* The anatomy of loneliness -The results of the world’s largest loneliness study. https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p06mflm5 (2’29”).

Theme song of the meeting: "The Lonely Route" (寂寞公路 by 伍思凱)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xPK2OQKBPPc

Questions
Session I

1. According to the video “Loneliness”, the loneliness epidemic we are aware of today only started in the late Renaissance. What has happened since then? What leads to people’s high level of loneliness today? Do you agree with the arguments proposed in the video?
2. “Friendly Bench”, which was initiated by a community interest company in Leicestershire, UK, provides a public and age-friendly community space for lonely people to go and chat with one another. Would you go there if you feel like talking to someone? Do you think this idea would work in Taiwan?
3. Some researches reveal that young adults are more likely to feel lonely than older age groups. Is this different from what you perceive? What might be the factors behind this phenomenon?
4. There are studies showing that dog owners, but not cat owners, are less lonely. Can you think of any possible reason(s) why owning a dog can help beat loneliness but a cat’s companionship doesn’t do the same?
5. Which of the following fits you the best for making you feel less lonely? a) Dedicate time to work, study or hobbies. b) Join a social club. c) Talk to friends or family about your feelings. d) Do something good to others. e) Carry on and wait for the feeling to pass.

Session II
6. In some societies, there exists a stigma around loneliness and people are ashamed to acknowledge their loneliness to others because of the fear of being judged. What does loneliness mean to you? What do you think about our society’s perception of loneliness?
7. Are you a social media (e.g. Facebook, Instagram) user? If yes, do you have more online friends, whom you only interact with on the internet, than your real-life friends? Do you think online friendship can be as meaningful as one in real life? Is there any difference between your interactions with online friends and real-life friends?
8. How do you feel when you are in a bad mood and yet a cursory glance at Facebook or Instagram seems to suggest that everyone else in the world is having a fabulous time and enjoys perfect relationships? Do you think that the social media may aggravate the loneliness problem in our society?
9. Many people resort to live-streams watching to combat loneliness. Platforms of this kind, like 17 Media (17直播), attract more than 30 million global users. Do you think this sort of “digital companionship” is effective for soothing lonely souls?
10. A senior YoYo member once said that he comes to YoYo meetings quite often because he has no life. What’s your reason(s) for coming to Yoyo?

Reference
1. “Loneliness” - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n3Xv_g3g-mA (Video, 12’29”)
2. “The anatomy of loneliness” (The results of the world’s largest loneliness study, BBC, 2018) (https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p06mflm5 ) (Video, 2’29”)
3. “One in three Taiwanese adults feel sense of loneliness: survey” (https://www.taiwannews.com.tw/en/news/2635683 )
4. CIGNA U.S. Loneliness Index Report, 2018 (https://www.multivu.com/players/English ... 525450.pdf )
5. “Let’s Wage a War on Loneliness” (https://www.nytimes.com/2019/11/09/opin ... demic.html)
6. “Friendly Bench” - https://www.thefriendlybench.co.uk/ (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4D_v--h4IQM )
7. “Millennials And The Loneliness Epidemic” (https://www.forbes.com/sites/neilhowe/2 ... -epidemic/ )
8. “Loneliness more likely to affect young people” (https://www.bbc.com/news/education-43711606)
9. “A growing number of Japanese have become recluses (hikikomori)” (https://www.economist.com/asia/2019/11/ ... e-recluses)
10. “Loneliness May Warp Our Genes, And Our Immune Systems” (https://www.npr.org/sections/health-sho ... ne-systems )
11. “Loneliness and Alzheimer's” (https://www.rush.edu/health-wellness/di ... alzheimers )
12. “What Young People Fear the Most (2016 VICELAND UK Census)” (https://www.vice.com/en_uk/article/nnyk ... loneliness )
13. “Fear of stigma linked to widespread loneliness in Britain” (https://www.journalofpracticenursing.co ... in-britain )
14. “Nine ways to feel less lonely” (https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/articl ... ess-lonely )
15. “Live-streaming industry promises intimacy?” (https://www.nationalgeographic.com/cult ... oneliness/)

********************************************************************************************************************************************
Agenda:
3:50 ~ 4:00pm Greetings & Free Talk / Ordering Beverage or Meal / Getting Newcomer’s Information
4:00 ~ 4:20pm Opening Remarks / Newcomer’s Self-introduction / Grouping
(Session I)
4:20 ~ 5:00pm Discussion Session (40 mins)
5:00 ~ 5:20pm Summarization (20 mins)
5:20 ~ 5:30pm Regrouping / Instruction Giving / Taking a 10 Minutes Break (Intermission)
(Session II)
5:30~ 6:10pm Discussion Session (40 mins)
6:10~ 6:30pm Summarization / Concluding Remarks / Announcements(20 mins)
********************************************************************************************************************************************
聚會日期:列於該貼文主題內
聚會時間:當天請準時於 16:00 pm 到達 ~ 約 18:30 pm 左右結束
星期六聚會地點:丹堤濟南店
地址、電話:台北市濟南路三段25號 地圖 (02) 2740-2350
捷運站:板南線 忠孝新生站 3 號出口
走法:出忠孝新生站 3 號出口後,沿著巷子(忠孝東路三段10巷)走約 2 分鐘,到了濟南路口,左轉走約 2 分鐘即可看到。
最低消費: 80 元

注意事項:
1. 文章是否需要列印請自行斟酌,但與會者請務必自行列印 Questions for discussion。
2. 與會者請先看過影片或閱讀過文章,並仔細想過所有的問題,謝謝合作!

給新朋友的話:
1. 請事先準備 2~3 分鐘的英語自我介紹;會議結束前可能會請你發表 1~2 分鐘的感想。
2. 請事先閱讀文章以及主持人所提的討論問題,並事先寫下自己所欲發表意見的英文。
3. 全程以英語進行,參加者應具備中等英語會話能力,對任一討論問題,能夠以 5 到 10 句英文表達個人見解。
4. 在正式加入之前,可以先來觀摩三次,觀摩者亦須參與討論。正式加入需繳交終身會費 NT$1,000。
最後由 stephen185 於 週日 12月 15, 2019 10:43 am 編輯,總共編輯了 1 次。
stephen185
YOYO member
 
文章: 174
註冊時間: 週三 5月 30, 2007 8:23 pm

Re: 12/14(Sat.) Something About Loneliness (Host: Stephen)

文章Luis Ko » 週五 12月 13, 2019 1:18 pm

it’s patently false to suggest that people come to yoyo meetings because they have no life, though i sometimes would joke about it myself. instead of no life, here i wanna say yoyo is my life. that's why i go to yoyo meetings. :lol:
i might be a cynic and, a sceptic as well but, i'm definitely not a bad person!!
Luis Ko
YOYO member
 
文章: 886
註冊時間: 週三 6月 06, 2007 10:18 pm

Re: 12/14(Sat.) Something About Loneliness (Host: Stephen)

文章stephen185 » 週六 12月 14, 2019 8:28 am

Luis Ko 寫:it’s patently false to suggest that people come to yoyo meetings because they have no life, though i sometimes would joke about it myself. instead of no life, here i wanna say yoyo is my life. that's why i go to yoyo meetings. :lol:

Dear Luis, glad to hear you say that yoyo is your life and I do sincerely hope you can find your life partner in yoyo as well.
stephen185
YOYO member
 
文章: 174
註冊時間: 週三 5月 30, 2007 8:23 pm

Re: 12/14(Sat.) Something About Loneliness (Host: Stephen)

文章Iris Wu » 週六 12月 14, 2019 9:17 am

A group of people who have no life meet regularly, then the gathering becomes their life. YoYo is part of the life for many of us, especially for those who don’t talk much and when it gets time to host, they write a lot! Haha!
(Our dear December hosts like to torture us with long list of reading materials and questions! And it's kind of my fault for being the host leader of the month! :lol:)
Iris Wu
YOYO member
 
文章: 682
註冊時間: 週二 5月 20, 2014 4:33 pm

Re: 12/14(Sat.) Something About Loneliness (Host: Stephen)

文章Iris Wu » 週六 12月 14, 2019 9:17 am

"Being alone and being lonely are not the same thing."
For most occasions, being alone is quite comfortable nowadays. I guess the most difficult moment is when you need to find someone to share some very personal stuff or to offload your frustration, unbearable feelings, you go through your contact list and you find no one to make a call.
There are two kinds of “rejection” in my mind, “passive rejection” means you ask and you get rejected; “active rejection” means you assume the help from these people is of no use, so you reject to make the call. Either way, you feel helplessly lonely for the moment.
Iris Wu
YOYO member
 
文章: 682
註冊時間: 週二 5月 20, 2014 4:33 pm

Re: 12/14(Sat.) Something About Loneliness (Host: Stephen)

文章stephen185 » 週六 12月 14, 2019 9:59 am

Iris Wu 寫:"Being alone and being lonely are not the same thing."
For most occasions, being alone is quite comfortable nowadays. I guess the most difficult moment is when you need to find someone to share some very personal stuff or to offload your frustration, unbearable feelings, you go through your contact list and you find no one to make a call.
There are two kinds of “rejection” in my mind, “passive rejection” means you ask and you get rejected; “active rejection” means you assume the help from these people is of no use, so you reject to make the call. Either way, you feel helplessly lonely for the moment.

Indeed, being alone and being lonely are not the same thing. Feeling lonely is not a proprietary right for those who are single or alone. People in long-term relationships can experience this emotion as well. One reason for feeling lonely could be that your relationship is not working well as it once did. Unwilling to be vulnerable can also be another contributor to feelings of loneliness within a romantic relationship. A typical instance is not talking about your feelings or sharing things that are maybe less safe and risky to share. As a result, you could be fairly close to someone but they might not know the real personal things about you. I guess the "active rejection" you mentioned could be also due to the fear of being vulnerable.
stephen185
YOYO member
 
文章: 174
註冊時間: 週三 5月 30, 2007 8:23 pm

Re: 12/14(Sat.) Something About Loneliness (Host: Stephen)

文章stephen185 » 週六 12月 14, 2019 12:29 pm

Iris Wu 寫:A group of people who have no life meet regularly, then the gathering becomes their life. YoYo is the life for many of us, especially for those who don’t talk much and when it gets time to host, they write a lot! Haha!
(Our dear December hosts like to torture us with long list of reading materials and questions! And it's kind of my fault for being the host leader of the month! :lol:)

Dear Iris, maybe the host's intention is to use this topic for several times? Hahaha... I think the reference materials the host posted are purely for reference. Most of them are listed just to indicate where the findings come from. Readers can have further reading only if they are really interested in any of them. And you are a wonderful host leader for sure. No worry.
stephen185
YOYO member
 
文章: 174
註冊時間: 週三 5月 30, 2007 8:23 pm

Re: 12/14(Sat.) Something About Loneliness (Host: Stephen)

文章Michael-liu » 週日 12月 15, 2019 12:41 am

1. I confess that I am the senior member who once said that "we don't have a life". I was sort of joking. I didn't mean to hurt members' feelings or hurt yo yo's image. I am sorry....

2. Before I got married, I lived alone, and to be honest, I always felt quite lonely, especially when I had to eat alone. Also, everytime I went home and face an empty house, I felt pathetic about myself.
Now I am married with one kid, so I don't feel lonely anymore. However, my marriage life is full of arguments. It makes me wonder whether i would be better off if I could go back to my single but lonely days.

3. Iris mentioned a good point above. When we have some very personal issues but we can not find anyone to talk to, that will be the lonely moment. I think this happens much more often to men than to women. Most women have close female friends and women don't feel embarrassed to talk about personal issues to their close friends. Most men care about face issue and would keep their problems to themselves. Let me ask our male members. Who ever made a phone call or send an online message to close friends to talk about personal matters? I bet the number must be very few. I wonder the reason men behave this way is genetic or socially(culturally) influenced? I encourge all our male members to put aside your ego and don't be afraid to reach out to your good buddy when you need to.
Michael-liu
YOYO member
 
文章: 550
註冊時間: 週五 4月 24, 2009 6:09 pm

Re: 12/14(Sat.) Something About Loneliness (Host: Stephen)

文章stephen185 » 週日 12月 15, 2019 7:41 am

Michael-liu 寫:1. I confess that I am the senior member who once said that "we don't have a life". I was sort of joking. I didn't mean to hurt members' feelings or hurt yo yo's image. I am sorry....

Dear Michael, apparently, you are not the only culprit who ever joked about the "no life" thing because I heard other members confessed to the same crime during the meeting.(Yoyo members are so honest...) Putting aside the joking, I believe most of the members know from the buttom of their hearts that Yoyo is an important part of their life. Well, at least, just like what Iris said, "A group of people who have no life meet regularly, then the gathering becomes their life." Not to mention the fact that some people did find their life partners here.
stephen185
YOYO member
 
文章: 174
註冊時間: 週三 5月 30, 2007 8:23 pm

Re: 12/14(Sat.) Something About Loneliness (Host: Stephen)

文章stephen185 » 週日 12月 15, 2019 8:23 am

Attendees(18): Kat, Timothy, Christine, Tim, Michelle, Jason, Rosie, Iris, Sherry, Holly, Carmelo, Julian, Leon, James, Luis, John, Shawn (New comer), Stephen.
Thanks to all the attendees for coming to this "lonely" meeting. The link to the song played in the meeting is given below for your reference.

Theme song of the meeting: "The Lonely Route" (寂寞公路 by 伍思凱)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xPK2OQKBPPc

說好和你一起流浪 失約的我獨自飛翔
窗外景物不斷的變換 提醒我背叛的心慌

說好不讓你再流淚 迷惑的我不知是錯是對
下雪街頭獨自的行走 握不住一杯溫熱的咖啡

New York, Dallas, Los Angeles 寂寞公路每站都下雪
想念 等候 流逝的夢 寂寞公路每吋都傷痛

Sunrise, Moonshake, Heartbreaker 寂寞公路每段都下雪
冷漠 激情 點煙的手 寂寞公路哪裡是盡頭

To Kat: What the singer said at the end of the song is: "Where is the end of this lonely route?"
stephen185
YOYO member
 
文章: 174
註冊時間: 週三 5月 30, 2007 8:23 pm


回到 每週討論主題 Meeting Topics

誰在線上

正在瀏覽這個版面的使用者:沒有註冊會員 和 2 位訪客

cron