3/14(Sat.) something about love relationship (Host: Luis)

3/14(Sat.) something about love relationship (Host: Luis)

文章Luis Ko » 週三 3月 11, 2020 1:49 pm

hello my friends, i'm Luis, this coming Saturday's host. it's 3/14 and i was told 3/14 is also a Valentine's Day so, it's inevitable we are going to talk about some things about, sorry, love again. last Saturday when Holly introduced her session one questions she mentioned something like though senior members have long known each other, new member have not. she hoped people who were at the meeting, seniors and new bees, would be able to know more about each other through those questions. it reminds me that i have had some love relevant topics and questions before. why not re-use them? you got to believe it's not because i'm lazy. it just occurs to me that though they are used, they would be novel to those who haven't attended my meetings. some of the questions are indeed good for discussion in my opinion. therefore, here you are. by the way, i know it's quite a sensitive period of time because of covid-19. feel free to stay at home lo~ :mrgreen:


reference article and video clip are as below, please read and watch them before you come to the meeting, otherwise you might have no idea how to answer some of the questions.

Love at first sight is REAL: Gazing into a person's eyes instead of looking at other body parts hints that you're falling for them
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2697146/Love-sight-REAL-Gazing-persons-eyes-instead-looking-body-parts-hints-youre-falling-them.html

University of Chicago researchers say direction of gaze can indicate feelings
They found that where a person looked at another determined 'love or lust'
Students were asked to view photographs of strangers in the study
For people they felt romantic love for they were likely to look in their eyes
But when they just felt lust they were more likely to look at other body parts


A study by University of Chicago researchers suggests the difference between love and lust might be in the eyes after all.
Specifically, where your date looks at you could indicate whether romance or passion is on the cards.
The research found that eye patterns concentrate on a stranger's face if the viewer sees that person as a potential partner in romantic love, but the viewer gazes more at the other person's body if he or she is feeling sexual desire.
Lead author Stephanie Cacioppo of the University of Chicago said that although 'little is currently known about the science of love at first sight or how people fall in love, these patterns of response provide the first clues regarding how automatic attentional processes, such as eye gaze, may differentiate feelings of love from feelings of desire toward strangers.'
The automatic judgment of love or lust can apparently occur in as little as half a second, producing different gaze patterns.
Previous research by Cacioppo has shown that different networks of brain regions are activated by love and sexual desire.
In this study, the team performed two experiments to test visual patterns in an effort to assess two different emotional and cognitive states that are often difficult to disentangle from one another - romantic love and sexual desire (lust).
Male and female students from the University of Geneva viewed a series of black-and-white photographs of persons they had never met.
In part one of the study, participants viewed photos of young, adult heterosexual couples who were looking at or interacting with each other.
In part two, participants viewed photographs of attractive individuals of the opposite sex who were looking directly at the camera or viewer.
None of the photos contained nudity or erotic images.
In both experiments, participants were placed before a computer and asked to look at different blocks of photographs and decide as rapidly and precisely as possible whether they perceived each photograph or the persons in the photograph as eliciting feelings of sexual desire or romantic love.
The study found no significant difference in the time it took subjects to identify romantic love versus sexual desire, which shows how quickly the brain can process both emotions, the researchers believe.
But analysis of the eye-tracking data from the two studies revealed marked differences in eye movement patterns, depending on whether the subjects reported feeling sexual desire or romantic love.
People tended to visually fixate on the face, especially when they said an image elicited a feeling of romantic love.
However, with images that evoked sexual desire, the subjects' eyes moved from the face to fixate on the rest of the body.
The effect was found for male and female participants.
'By identifying eye patterns that are specific to love-related stimuli, the study may contribute to the development of a biomarker that differentiates feelings of romantic love versus sexual desire,' said co-author John Cacioppo, director of the Center for Cognitive and Social Neuroscience.
'An eye-tracking paradigm may eventually offer a new avenue of diagnosis in clinicians' daily practice or for routine clinical exams in psychiatry and/or couple therapy.'

Alain de Botton on Love


backfire effect
https://whatis.techtarget.com/definition/backfire-effect?fbclid=IwAR0B8JXDA9kdqyPIm-WNiZrMWsIglubcKJzolmUrXILJVcLs0MYUEkdVQUQ
The backfire effect is the tendency of some people to resist accepting evidence that conflicts with their beliefs. The effect is demonstrated when people presented with that conflicting information become even more convinced of their original beliefs rather than questioning them.



questions:

when it comes to Valentine's Day a hot date is kind of a must. what's your suggestion for the date? how do you celebrate it? or what are your suggestions for the very first date as a would-be lover, where to go, what to do and talk, or even how to dress? anything you think people should take notice. who do you think should pay the bill when you go on a date?

before you have an opportunity to celebrate Valentine's Day you got to have a partner first. what are your tip(s) to pick up a girl or, to attract a boy? When you just met someone you like for the first time, do you think it's possible to tell if the person is fond of you, or not, through "eye contact"? Any other nonverbal to tell the situation?

do you have the experience you take a shine to someone, having a liking for them immediately? what are the reasons that make you like them immediately? or are you loving/liking someone now? what are they like? why are you fond of them? do you agree with the result of the study? are men more visual than women?

when you meet someone who is absolutely your type, what would you do? would you try asking them out? if someone who you are not so attracted to asks you for a date, would you give them a chance? do you mind the gap, any gap you can think of that will draw you back, or what matters to you, when choosing your partner? is it ok to pursuit someone who is not a single person? are you a person who will be hell-bent on having your love despite any negative sings or disapproval of other people when head over heels?

let’s say, you liked someone, unfortunately they were not into you. Would you still try to be friend with them? do you think it’s possible you two can still be friends? why? would it be different if they have a boyfriend/girlfriend? what exactly would you do if you were in the case?

what do you think of romanticism mentioned in this speech? are you one of the heirs of it as the speaker says? do you agree romanticism has caused us a lot of troubles in a relationship, and it's the greatest enemy we face for love? why?

"when you embark on a journey of love, pessimism in fact is the most generous and kindly emotion that you could direct towards yourself and your partner."
why do you think that is?

there are somethings the speaker want us to know in order to be better lovers. the first thing we need to understand is let's stop treating our partners as if they were adults. let's start treating them like small children. does it make sense to you? why?

have you ever heard of Backfire Effect? It says facts don’t win arguments and we all know arguments are inevitable in a relationship, and would probably take its toll later. how do you think the awareness of Backfire Effect's presence and applying Alain de Botton's ideas can somewhat make our relationship better off?

personally i think the feeling of love is because "i meet you, i like you and i love you then, i love you for you are loving me". what do you think of it? is love a choice, coincidence or, fate?

please be reminded the questions have been altered, and there won't be question sheet on site.


********************************************************************************************************************************************
Agenda:
3:45 ~ 4:00pm Greetings & Free Talk / Ordering Beverage or Meal / Getting Newcomer’s Information
4:00 ~ 4:10pm Opening Remarks / Newcomer’s Self-introduction / Grouping
(Session I)
4:10 ~ 4:50pm Discussion Session (40 mins)
4:50 ~ 5:10pm Summarization (20 mins)
5:10 ~ 5:15pm Regrouping / Instruction Giving / Taking a 10 Minutes Break (Intermission)
(Session II)
5:15 ~ 5:55pm Discussion Session (40 mins)
6:00 ~ 6:20pm Summarization (20 mins)
6:20 ~ 6:30pm Concluding Remarks / Announcements ********************************************************************************************************************************************
聚會日期:列於該貼文主題內
聚會時間:請準時 4:00 pm 到 ~ 約 6:30 pm 左右結束
星期六聚會地點:丹堤濟南店
地址、電話:台北市濟南路三段25號 地圖 (02) 2740-2350
捷運站:板南線 忠孝新生站 3 號出口
走法:出忠孝新生站 3 號出口後,沿著巷子(忠孝東路三段10巷)走約 2 分鐘,到了濟南路口,左轉走約 2 分鐘即可看到。
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最後由 Luis Ko 於 週六 3月 14, 2020 4:14 pm 編輯,總共編輯了 4 次。
i might be a cynic and, a sceptic as well but, i'm definitely not a bad person!!
Luis Ko
YOYO member
 
文章: 886
註冊時間: 週三 6月 06, 2007 10:18 pm

Re: 3/14(Sat.) something about love relationship (Host: Luis

文章Kooper » 週五 3月 13, 2020 10:25 pm

The talk is hilarious and inspiring, but I don't remember watching it before. Guess that makes a strong case for Luis' reuse of his meeting topics. :mrgreen:
Kooper
YOYO member
 
文章: 2542
註冊時間: 週三 4月 11, 2007 11:40 pm

Re: 3/14(Sat.) something about love relationship (Host: Luis

文章Luis Ko » 週六 3月 14, 2020 1:40 pm

Kooper 寫:The talk is hilarious and inspiring, but I don't remember watching it before. Guess that makes a strong case for Luis' reuse of his meeting topics. :mrgreen:



right, it was on Tue. meeting. that's why. definitely not because i'm LAZY lo~ :lol:
i might be a cynic and, a sceptic as well but, i'm definitely not a bad person!!
Luis Ko
YOYO member
 
文章: 886
註冊時間: 週三 6月 06, 2007 10:18 pm

Re: 3/14(Sat.) something about love relationship (Host: Luis

文章Rock » 週六 3月 14, 2020 1:58 pm

Notes taken: 1. Don't be totally honest and don't expect total honesty, either. 2. Your partner doesn't really understand you. Communication is a must. 3. Partners educate each others to be better. 4. Treat your partner like a small child. 5. Pessimism (low expectations)... OK, I am an expert on this now. Ready to go. :lol:
In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock.
頭像
Rock
YOYO member
 
文章: 1909
註冊時間: 週三 10月 31, 2007 9:03 am

Re: 3/14(Sat.) something about love relationship (Host: Luis

文章Luis Ko » 週六 3月 14, 2020 8:54 pm

Rock 寫:Notes taken: 1. Don't be totally honest and don't expect total honesty, either. 2. Your partner doesn't really understand you. Communication is a must. 3. Partners educate each others to be better. 4. Treat your partner like a small child. 5. Pessimism (low expectations)... OK, I am an expert on this now. Ready to go. :lol:


No doubt you are indeed an expert in this regard. I know you have long been doing them. 8)



Attendees,
Carmelo, James, Jason, Julian, Kooper, Michael, Ramesh, Rock, Sabrina

Only few people showed up. Hope i didn't leave out anyone of you, otherwise my memory really serves me bad haa~ Anyway, thank you guys for coming lo~
i might be a cynic and, a sceptic as well but, i'm definitely not a bad person!!
Luis Ko
YOYO member
 
文章: 886
註冊時間: 週三 6月 06, 2007 10:18 pm


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