5/9(Sat.) The Concept of the Inner Child (Host:Michael)

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Michael-liu
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註冊時間: 週五 4月 24, 2009 6:09 pm

5/9(Sat.) The Concept of the Inner Child (Host:Michael)

文章 Michael-liu »

Session 1
What is the Inner Child?

In popular psychology and analytical psychology, the term inner child is an individual's childlike aspect. It includes what a person learned as a child, before puberty.

The term “inner child” doesn’t refer to the part of your brain that is reserved for having childish thoughts!

Rather, the inner child exists as the childlike aspect within your unconscious mind. It reflects the child we once were, in both its “positive” and “negative” aspects. Our unmet needs and suppressed childhood emotions, as well as our childlike innocence, natural enthusiasm, and creativity, are all waiting within us.

The repressed emotions refer to all of the things you were taught as a child not to feel if you wanted to receive love. The result: you were only offered attention when you obeyed.

It’s almost inevitable that this happens when parents, education, and society impose rules and standards to help socialize us into becoming functioning human beings. In fact, it’s good that this happens. Constraints are required in order to understand boundaries and grow as human beings.

However, the result is that the inner child within you still holds onto the sadness, anger, and trauma that resulted from feeling rejected.

Some examples of things we learn from our upbringing that result in feelings of rejection are as follows:

1. You were taught that it’s not OK to have your own opinions.
2. You were punished when trying to speak up or act differently.
3. You were discouraged from playing or having fun.
4. You were not allowed to be spontaneous.
5. You were not allowed to show strong emotions such as anger or joy.
6. You were shamed by your parents or family members.
7. You were verbally criticized/abused on a regular basis.
8. You were physically punished, e.g. smacked, beaten.
9. You were made to feel responsible for your parents' happiness.
10. You were not given physical affection, e.g. hugs, kisses, cuddles.

Connecting with the inner child focuses on bringing these feelings to the light of your consciousness so that you can find the root causes of the challenges you’re facing as an adult. In short, the “inner child” stays within us, forming a part of our consciousness as images. It has an impact on how we interact with the outside world.

Questions:
1. Have you heard of this theory of inner child? Was your childhood happy or unhappy?
2. In the above 10 examples that resulted the feelings of rejection, how many ever happened to you?
3. Is there anything (trauma, abuse, experience, bullying, etc.) happened in your childhood that affects you in anyway as an adult?
4. Some say President Trump is a 12 year old boy trapped in a 70 year old body. What do you think?

Session 2
Some Signs You Have a Wounded Inner Child

These are some signs that you may have a wounded inner child:

You feel that there is something wrong with you, in the deepest parts of yourself.
You experience anxiety when going out of your comfort zone.
You’re a people-pleaser.
You don’t have a strong sense of identity.
You deliberately like being in conflict with people around you.
You’re a hoarder of things or emotions, and you have a hard time letting go.
You feel inadequate as a man or a woman.
You constantly criticize yourself for your supposed inadequacy.
You’re unforgiving to yourself, rigid and a perfectionist.
You have a hard time committing and trusting.
You have deep fear of being abandoned and would cling to relationships, even when they are toxic.

How to heal your wounded inner child?

1. Reconnect with your childhood

One way to do this is to “time travel” back to your childhood. You can do this by making a list of things that brought you joy when you were young. Spend some time daydreaming and reliving these memories as though they were happening today.

2. Identify your specific inner child

According to WikiHow, there are patterns of childhood that are common to most people. See which patterns resonate with you in order to see what is coming up in your life today. Here are the examples they cite:

The abandoned child: This inner child often emerges from not getting enough attention from parents. It can be relatively innocent, such as parents being too busy, or it can be more severe, coming from abuse or neglect.

The playful child: This child is healthy and often neglected in adulthood. Do you remember when you were feeling playful and spontaneous, having fun without guilt or anxiety?

The fearful child: This child received a lot of criticism and regularly experiences anxiety when not getting enough affirmation.

3. Write a letter to your inner child

You can do this in the form of an apology if you feel you’re living a life that doesn’t honor your inner child. Or you could write a simple letter explaining that you wish to build a stronger relationship with your inner child in your life today.

4. Pay attention to your feelings

Your inner child is sensitive and vulnerable. It’s important to pay attention to your inner child’s fears and insecurities as well as the joys and feelings of wonder that often come up when connecting with your inner child. Throughout the day, check-in with yourself and ask, “how am I feeling right now?”

5. Be mindful of your inner critic

One of the biggest challenges I faced in spending time with my inner child was feeling like a fool for doing so. I’m an adult now and it felt silly to try and connect with the feelings I was having when I was a child. This was my inner critic speaking. It’s important to listen to this voice, at the same time as listening to the voice of your inner child. All of these voices deserve to be heard, and by listening to them you’ll give them the space to shape how you’re feeling today.

Questions

1. Do you have any of the above signs that you may have a wounded inner child?
2. Do you think the above-mentioned methods of healing wounded inner child are helpful? Which one is the best way?
3. Is this inner child theory really helpful to people or it is just psychologist's imgaination?
最後由 Michael-liu 於 週五 5月 08, 2020 6:20 pm 編輯,總共編輯了 1 次。
Kooper
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註冊時間: 週三 4月 11, 2007 11:40 pm

Re: 5/9(Sat.) The Concept of the Inner Child (Host:Michael)

文章 Kooper »

I found it challenging to get my head around the inner-child theory. Chances are that I had a relatively pleasant childhood and did not end up with a wounded inner child living inside. When facing difficulties in life, I generally look for solutions at the moment rather than taking a trip down memory lane.
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Rock
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註冊時間: 週三 10月 31, 2007 9:03 am

Re: 5/9(Sat.) The Concept of the Inner Child (Host:Michael)

文章 Rock »

@Kooper

It's easy to see because you are totally balanced. I envy you.
In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock.
Michael-liu
YOYO member
文章: 592
註冊時間: 週五 4月 24, 2009 6:09 pm

Re: 5/9(Sat.) The Concept of the Inner Child (Host:Michael)

文章 Michael-liu »

Yes, I think Kooper is a very mature man, so he doesn't relate to this inner child theory.

In contrast to Kooper, I am quite immature and may have some inner child issues, so this is why I have so much conflict and fight in my marriage.

However, Kooper, may I be frank to you? It seems to me you never ever show any emotions. I am wondering it is because you are too mature or your emotions are somehow repressed, as the article says.
最後由 Michael-liu 於 週日 5月 10, 2020 3:57 am 編輯,總共編輯了 1 次。
Michael-liu
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文章: 592
註冊時間: 週五 4月 24, 2009 6:09 pm

Re: 5/9(Sat.) The Concept of the Inner Child (Host:Michael)

文章 Michael-liu »

Attendees(16):

Kooper, Morris, Rock, Julian, John, Jason, Steve, Shirley, Gloria, Rosie, Christine, Jerry, Ramesh, Leon, Sabrina, Michael
Michael-liu
YOYO member
文章: 592
註冊時間: 週五 4月 24, 2009 6:09 pm

Re: 5/9(Sat.) The Concept of the Inner Child (Host:Michael)

文章 Michael-liu »

Actually, I have another inner child issue I didn't share with you guys, because it is kind of embarrassing to speak it out.

My mother said the following to me several times "唉....建元如果能再長高一點就好了"

It is not verbally abused, but my mother didn't know that everytime she said that, it hurt my feelings deeply. Sigh........
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Rock
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文章: 1939
註冊時間: 週三 10月 31, 2007 9:03 am

Re: 5/9(Sat.) The Concept of the Inner Child (Host:Michael)

文章 Rock »

But you are taller than me..... :shock:
In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock.
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