7/7(Tue.)The Best Years of Your Life (Host: David Jr.)

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David Jr.
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7/7(Tue.)The Best Years of Your Life (Host: David Jr.)

文章 David Jr. »

Hello everyone,
Sorry for posting the topic late.
Although we talked about this topic 2 years before in YOYO, I believe we still can find some new meaning from the discussion, and I revise the discussion questions.
See you soon.

Article:
Source: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog ... -your-life

The Best Years of Your Life
Enjoy this time. But is it the best years of your life?

When I was young, there was no respect for youth.
Now there's no respect for the old.
I missed it both times!
Milton Berle (or so he claims)


When you were a teenager, were you ever told, "Enjoy this time, it's the best years of your life?" What a stupid thing to say. Youth is wasted on the young, and for most people, youth is hardly the best years of life.

Ours is a youth-obsessed culture, demanding living in the now with youthful gusto. Who has time for lessons learned and the wisdom that comes with age? Here's one example that only older people know: All this excitement about legalizing marijuana is being fomented by people who know nothing of the exhaustive social and scientific marijuana research conducted in the 1930s and the harmful biological effects in the 1970s. Older scholars know about this, but younger ones seem woefully uninformed and uninterested in "old" research. Actually, that often applies to old research in all fields.

We are all going to get old, assuming we don't die first. Our friends, relatives, and loved ones are or will get old. As baby boomers retire, older people are coming to dominate the population. Modern medicine and the wide pursuit of healthier living styles have enabled many older people to live longer and remain vigorous and productive in their old age. Yet, in this country and many other Western countries, we shun, neglect, and sometimes abuse the old. This is the theme of a recent blog by the CEO of a medical products company, Sue Chen.

Chen contends that as people age, others lose interest in engaging with them. A recent National Research Council study indicated that older adults are stigmatized as a group. Older people are treated like old people in social groups and in the workplace. Less is expected of seniors. Seniors in turn expect less of themselves. Chen asserts that younger people shun the elderly and don't want to think about aging because they are afraid of their own impending aging. They know that older people become more socially isolated and that the loneliness is magnified when divorce or death causes the loss of a spouse. Children are unintentionally conditioned to have negative bias about older people. Young families often shut out older parents, aunts, and uncles. We seem to have abandoned the "extended family" concept that was so wholesomely dominant only a few decades ago.

Fear of further aging and being sick and lonely grows with each passing year. Fear of aging is unwarranted, at least for healthy seniors with sufficient retirement income. Actually, one's later years can be the best years of life. Helen Hayes, at age 73, said "The hardest years are between 10 and 70." Paul Meyer, upon reaching 70, claimed that "Life begins at 70." By that time we all have accumulated a "rich reserve" of life experiences and lessons learned. He tries to do all the things he has always done. He points out some of the many advantages of old age, such as people expecting less of you. What you do accomplish makes a bigger impression because it isn't expected. At 70 you have more choices. You can act your age or act young. You can do things you didn't have time for in the past, particularly "smelling the roses." You can take naps without feeling guilty. You feel less guilty about the way you raised your kids, because now they know just how hard raising kids is and are having many of the same difficulties and angst as you did. Time becomes precious, because it is running out. You therefore spend it more wisely. You don't waste time on harmful emotions or personal animosities.

Now at 81, my experience is consistent with what Hayes and Meyer concluded. I am, even though semi-retired, more efficient and almost as productive in my profession as when I "retired." Amazingly, I have discovered more free time to work. And now, I get to do what I want to do, not what others want me to do. But the biggest advantage of aging, as I see it, is that older people have typically learned more about how to cope with disappointment and adversity and how to squeeze the sweet and good juice out of life.

In the absence of debilitating sickness, aging can be a great blessing. There are many things people can and should be doing to make the senior years the best years of their lives. These include eating well, exercising frequently and vigorously, constructing a positive emotional attitude, becoming more active in mental and social life, getting frequent medical checkups, and most of all I think, living with an honorable purpose.

Session 1 Discussion Questions:
1. Do you believe the youth is the best years of your life?

2a. How old is "Old"? How do we define "being young" or "being old"?
2b.
For those who think they aren't young anymore, when did you begin to notice that? In what occasion?
For those who think they are still young, are you afraid of getting old? What's your concept of getting old?

3a. What do young people and old people fear the most respectively?
3b. Is that fear out of reality or out of imagination?
3c. What can we do to conquer the fear?

Session 2 Discussion Questions
4a. Have you thought about "retirement" in your life? When do you think it will happen? In what way?
4b. What's the best retirement scenario? And what's the worst?

5. If you were given a choice to live as long as you want, how long would you like to live?

6. In your opinion, what's the meaning of aging to you, and what's the gift of it?


**************************************************************************************************************************
Agenda:
6:45 ~ 7:00pm Greetings & Free Talk / Ordering Beverage or Meal / Getting Newcomer’s Information
7:00 ~ 7:10pm Opening Remarks / Newcomer’s Self-introduction / Grouping
(Session I)
7:10 ~ 7:50pm Discussion Session (40 mins)
7:50 ~ 8:10pm Summarization (20 mins)
8:10 ~ 8:25pm Regrouping / Instruction Giving / Taking a 10 Minutes Break (Intermission)
(Session II)
8:25 ~ 9:05pm Discussion Session (40 mins)
9:05 ~ 9:25pm Summarization (20 mins)
9:25 ~ 9:30pm Concluding Remarks / Announcements **************************************************************************************************************************
聚會日期:列於該貼文主題內
聚會時間:當天請準時於 6:45 pm 到達 ~ 約 9:30 pm 左右結束
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Remember all what your mom has told you, and do the opposite.
Luis Ko
YOYO member
文章: 902
註冊時間: 週三 6月 06, 2007 10:18 pm

Re: 7/7(Tue.)The Best Years of Your Life (Host: David Jr.)

文章 Luis Ko »

wish i was 20 years or so, younger. it might not be the best years on my life but, at least i would still have something to hope for.. :ccry:
i might be a cynic and, a sceptic as well but, i'm definitely not a bad person!!
Iris Wu
YOYO member
文章: 709
註冊時間: 週二 5月 20, 2014 4:33 pm

Re: 7/7(Tue.)The Best Years of Your Life (Host: David Jr.)

文章 Iris Wu »

Technically speaking, there are not the best “years”, what we have might be some best “moments” of our lives. “Year” is too long of a measurement to achieve any human satisfaction. Happiness is always fleeting!

Maybe I am too picky, the question actually is which “stage” is the best of your life, but then, what is the definition of “the best”? Any stage of our life has its disadvantages and pitfalls, unless you have a “perfect” life, which does not exist naturally.

I would say “the best time” is a state of mind. If one can achieve the state of mind they are looking for, maybe one can keep the bliss at arm’s length regardless of age and place?
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Rock
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文章: 1940
註冊時間: 週三 10月 31, 2007 9:03 am

Re: 7/7(Tue.)The Best Years of Your Life (Host: David Jr.)

文章 Rock »

Iris Wu 寫:
週二 7月 07, 2020 8:06 am
I would say “the best time” is a state of mind. If one can achieve the state of mind they are looking for...
It's true. But it's also true that the physical world can make the process of achieving this state of mind harder or easier. I wonder if it's possible for human beings to bypass it.
In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock.
Iris Wu
YOYO member
文章: 709
註冊時間: 週二 5月 20, 2014 4:33 pm

Re: 7/7(Tue.)The Best Years of Your Life (Host: David Jr.)

文章 Iris Wu »

Rock 寫:
週二 7月 07, 2020 9:22 am
Iris Wu 寫:
週二 7月 07, 2020 8:06 am
I would say “the best time” is a state of mind. If one can achieve the state of mind they are looking for...
It's true. But it's also true that the physical world can makes the process of achieving this state of mind harder or easier.
Agreed, to certain degree.

But do you think the physical world is real? Or is it an image from our mind? :)
We are getting to the Zen horizon, Haha!
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Rock
YOYO member
文章: 1940
註冊時間: 週三 10月 31, 2007 9:03 am

Re: 7/7(Tue.)The Best Years of Your Life (Host: David Jr.)

文章 Rock »

I can prove it. A killing toothache can easily destroy a Zen monk's state of mind. Try it if you like. 😇
In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock.
Janice Wang
YOYO member
文章: 55
註冊時間: 週六 3月 25, 2017 7:45 pm

Re: 7/7(Tue.)The Best Years of Your Life (Host: David Jr.)

文章 Janice Wang »

David,

An inadvertent glimpse of your forum profile that, self-described, comes from the “Lonely Planet”. I can’t help but paint a picture of a slim man that is overwhelmed with loneliness, and even somehow permeates a bit of sadness. That image somewhat displays “old” to me; however, the alluring female profile picture completely contradicts the aforementioned image. Do you intend to interpret a young man that possesses an old soul?! In my sense, “being old/young” is not all up to a person’s chronological age, but also one’s biological age in terms of one’s lifestyle, mindset, and how that person takes on and reacts towards things.

“Aging” is a side effect of being alive in the first place, as it were, “aging” is inevitable to every one of us. With modern technology and advanced medicine, fixing “aging” is no longer a fudge. The thought of prolonging life is pressing the pause button on the inevitable. However, longer life expectancy does not translate it as a better or healthier life, which leads to a meaningful reflection of the quote, “We only live once, but if we live it right, once is enough”.

Last but not least, despite it being a recycled topic, your mastery of proposed questions is still good at whetting my appetite for weighing your words. However, one question is just lingering in my mind - why would you recycle this one over many others? As you are obviously a seasoned host and have been conducting a slew of meetings with wide-ranged topics from the subject of the extraterrestrial being to the trendy talk of vaping, is there any specific reason for you to pick “The Best Years of Your Life” up again?
最後由 Janice Wang 於 週五 7月 17, 2020 10:42 pm 編輯,總共編輯了 8 次。
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Rock
YOYO member
文章: 1940
註冊時間: 週三 10月 31, 2007 9:03 am

Re: 7/7(Tue.)The Best Years of Your Life (Host: David Jr.)

文章 Rock »

Luis Ko 寫:
週一 7月 06, 2020 11:38 pm
wish i was 20 years or so, younger. it might not be the best years on my life but, at least i would still have something to hope for.. :ccry:
I envy you. At least you had it before.
In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock.
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Rock
YOYO member
文章: 1940
註冊時間: 週三 10月 31, 2007 9:03 am

Re: 7/7(Tue.)The Best Years of Your Life (Host: David Jr.)

文章 Rock »

Tim Shaw wrote a letter to his younger self

https://www.theplayerstribune.com/en-us ... unger-self
In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock.
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David Jr.
Vice President
文章: 246
註冊時間: 週二 8月 19, 2003 12:07 am
來自: Lonely Planet
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Re: 7/7(Tue.)The Best Years of Your Life (Host: David Jr.)

文章 David Jr. »

Rock 寫:
週二 7月 07, 2020 9:22 am
Iris Wu 寫:
週二 7月 07, 2020 8:06 am
I would say “the best time” is a state of mind. If one can achieve the state of mind they are looking for...
It's true. But it's also true that the physical world can make the process of achieving this state of mind harder or easier. I wonder if it's possible for human beings to bypass it.
Rock, I am a bit confused about your words. Could you shed some light on it?
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David Jr.
Vice President
文章: 246
註冊時間: 週二 8月 19, 2003 12:07 am
來自: Lonely Planet
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Re: 7/7(Tue.)The Best Years of Your Life (Host: David Jr.)

文章 David Jr. »

Janice Wang 寫:
週二 7月 07, 2020 9:55 am
One inadvertently glimpse over your forum profile that, self-described comes from the “Lonely Planet”, I can't help but paint a picture of a slim man that is overwhelmed with loneliness, and even permeates a little bit of sadness somehow. That image somewhat displays “old” to me; however, the alluring female profile picture completely contradicts the aforementioned image, do you intend to interpret a young man that possesses an old soul?! In my sense, “being old/young” is not all up to a person’s biological age, but also one’s mindset and how that person takes on and reacts towards things.
Hello Janice, I always like this term "Lonely Planet" and I quite enjoy the status of lonely.
About image, hehehe~ it's from a beautiful music video of Madonna's song "Rain"
I love this MV when I was young.
Janice Wang 寫:
週二 7月 07, 2020 9:55 am
Last but not least, despite it being a recycled topic, your mastery of proposed questions is still good at whetting my appetite for weighing your words. However, one question is just lingering in my mind - why would you recycle this particular one over many others? As you are obviously a seasoned host and have been conducting a slew of meetings with wide-ranged topics from the subject of the extraterrestrial being to the trendy talk of vaping, is there any specific reason for you to pick " The Best Years of Your Life" up again?
You asked a question I truly don't like to answer.
Everytime it's my turn to host a meeting, I try to find some topic a bit different from what I have done before.
It takes time and a bit effort for participants to absorb the content of every new topic, so it's better to post it at least one week ahead.
This time I am too lazy (topic posted only one day earlier) and could only choose one topic which requires less or none preparation for everyone.
I am getting older and I truly look at all my old topics with a bit different perspectives and that's fun.
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Rock
YOYO member
文章: 1940
註冊時間: 週三 10月 31, 2007 9:03 am

Re: 7/7(Tue.)The Best Years of Your Life (Host: David Jr.)

文章 Rock »

David Jr. 寫:
週二 7月 07, 2020 2:55 pm
Rock, I am a bit confused about your words. Could you shed some light on it?
I mean, it's very difficult for people to be happy if they are physically sick.
In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock.
Luis Ko
YOYO member
文章: 902
註冊時間: 週三 6月 06, 2007 10:18 pm

Re: 7/7(Tue.)The Best Years of Your Life (Host: David Jr.)

文章 Luis Ko »

Rock 寫:
週二 7月 07, 2020 9:45 am
I can prove it. A killing toothache can easily destroy a Zen monk's state of mind. Try it if you like. 😇

which is to say we are all animals of flesh and blood, therefore, our body has to be in alignment with our spirit and mind first before we can achieve the stated state, and even monks have no exemption.. 8) :lol:
i might be a cynic and, a sceptic as well but, i'm definitely not a bad person!!
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Rock
YOYO member
文章: 1940
註冊時間: 週三 10月 31, 2007 9:03 am

Re: 7/7(Tue.)The Best Years of Your Life (Host: David Jr.)

文章 Rock »

or simply saying that toothache is so painful
In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock.
Iris Wu
YOYO member
文章: 709
註冊時間: 週二 5月 20, 2014 4:33 pm

Re: 7/7(Tue.)The Best Years of Your Life (Host: David Jr.)

文章 Iris Wu »

To our host, don't let your mind look older than your body! Age is just a number.
Here comes some food for thought, "When death finds you, may it find you alive!" :)
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