8/4 (Tue) Why Do We Gossip? (Host: Sherry)

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Sherry Liao
YOYO member
文章: 1417
註冊時間: 週五 12月 07, 2007 12:15 pm

8/4 (Tue) Why Do We Gossip? (Host: Sherry)

文章 Sherry Liao »

Why Do We Gossip? | Man on the Street
The Shocking Benefits Of Gossiping!
Why Gossip Can Be Good for You, Even If It's Mean
https://www.independent.co.uk/life-styl ... 12936.html

The Science Behind Why People Gossip—And When It Can Be a Good Thing
https://time.com/5680457/why-do-people-gossip/

Psychologists Say Gossiping is a Social Skill. Here's How to Know if You're Doing it Right.
https://www.nbcnews.com/better/lifestyl ... cna1056941

Do we have gossip all wrong?
https://www.bbc.com/future/article/2018 ... -all-wrong

Questions for Disscussion
Session I
Q1: Why do we gossip? Do you agree that "everyone gossips"? Is gossiping as a whole a good thing or bad? Why?
Q2: Do men and women gossip differently? According to the second video, women tend to be more fearful when they hear negative gossip (ex. speaking ill of sb.), while men tend to be more fearful of positive gossip? Do you agree?
Q3: In what way can gossip be malicious? In what way can it be beneficial to us?

Session II
Q4: Is gossip a harassment? What would you do if someone gossips about you? What would you do if you heard some harmful gossip about someone you knew?
Q5: Have you ever heard any malicious rumors that got someone (the target or the gossiper) in trouble?
Q6: How do you manage gossip in the workplace? What makes a good gossiper and what makes a bad one?


Agenda:
6:45 ~ 7:00pm Greetings & Free Talk / Ordering Beverage or Meal / Getting Newcomer’s Information
7:00 ~ 7:10pm Opening Remarks / Newcomer’s Self-introduction / Grouping
(Session I)
7:10 ~ 7:50pm Discussion Session (40 mins)
7:50 ~ 8:10pm Summarization (20 mins)
8:10 ~ 8:15pm Regrouping / Instruction Giving / Taking a 10 Minutes Break (Intermission)
(Session II)
8:15 ~ 8:55pm Discussion Session (40 mins)
9:00 ~ 9:20pm Summarization (20 mins)
9:20 ~ 9:30pm Concluding Remarks / Announcements


Meeting Date: As shown on the Subject Line
Meeting Time: 7:00pm – 9:30pm
Meeting Venue: 丹堤咖啡 Dante Coffee (Minimum Order $80)
Address: 台北市濟南路三段25號[MAP]-捷運忠孝新生站3號出口步行3分鐘

Important Notes:
1. We advise participants to print out the discussion questions and bring them to the meeting for reference. As for the supporting articles, feel free to print them out, as well, according to your preference.
2. We suggest that participants read the articles and think about the questions in advance.
3. Newcomers should prepare a two-to-three minute self-introduction in English to deliver when called upon by the host before the start of the discussion. The host may also ask you to give brief feedback about the meeting at the conclusion of the meeting.
4. We conduct the entire meeting in English. All participants should have at least moderate English-conversation skills and be able to articulate your ideas for each discussion question.
5. We welcome newcomers and other guests to attend the meetings and join the discussion freely for three times. After that, we hope you will consider becoming a YoYo English Club member. We charge a NT$1000 lifetime membership fee.
Janice Wang
YOYO member
文章: 75
註冊時間: 週六 3月 25, 2017 7:45 pm

Re: 8/4 (Tue) Why Do We Gossip? (Host: Sherry)

文章 Janice Wang »

Why is “gossip” prevalent at all levels of society, in all ages, and all walks of life? Most of us are probably just not ready to be left alone, or we want to get the scoop and the lowdown on someone or something that might benefit or serve as a warning to us. Gossiping without consequences seems like entertainment to most people.

Women socialize more than men do. Social occasions are the hotbed of gossips. Looking at those cafés or restaurants, it will amaze us at how female customers significantly outnumber males, and how engaging those ladies are; not to mention how a woman’s gathering can last as long as a marathon against the shop’s closing time. The most common way women interact with each other is through gossiping. Women are probably more willing to share their feelings, emotions, and opinions, but men most likely prefer to keep those to themselves. Besides, not all gossips wound up negatively; some can be neutral and constructive.

When a person shares something about someone else without one’s permission, it is the start of a gossip. It highly depends on us in what sense to interpret the things we heard through the grapevine. We may think of them as a positive sense of negative. Every gossip, arguably, is an opportunity to find out how someone did something either right or wrong. But usually, the reality comes considering the negative impact on the gossip already in the air.

Everyone needs someone to be with in life, and nobody likes to live in fear of what people may say behind their backs. However, sometimes, it is inevitable or even unnoticed to gossip in our social life. If I happened to be the center of the gossip, I would hope for it to die down in no time, or I would turn a deaf ear to it. After all, it is life, move on, learning how to get along with others well is a lifelong lesson throughout our whole lives.
最後由 Janice Wang 於 週一 8月 03, 2020 10:00 pm 編輯,總共編輯了 1 次。
Iris Wu
YOYO member
文章: 735
註冊時間: 週二 5月 20, 2014 4:33 pm

Re: 8/4 (Tue) Why Do We Gossip? (Host: Sherry)

文章 Iris Wu »

First, many thanks to Sherry for being so flexible to change the hosting schedule on short notice.
Secondly, I like the direct questions, which get straight to the point!

Why do people gossip? The inconvenient truth is that it is much easier for people looking outward (focusing on others) than looking inward (dealing with the unsettled self).

Gossip, by definition, is “communication about a person who isn’t present in a way that involves evaluation of that person”. It is not just the talk behind a person, but more importantly a judgment is usually involved. Normally, we won’t bother judging a person who are not on our radar, therefore, the chatty talks can be quite “neutral”.

When judgmental comments involved, the gossips are usually dichotomized, positive gossip or negative gossip. Positive gossips are like “word-of-mouth marketing”; it may boost the morale and motivation, if in a workplace, it can even create viral effect. When people feel valued, they bring their best to the work.

Unfortunately, in the real world, we are more likely to deal with destructive gossips. As said in the proverb,
“People will question all the good things they hear about you but believe all the bad without a second thought." If the back-fence talks are related to our personal traits or ability, we’ll have to reverse our emotional downward spiral and be determined, making these negative gossips as the transformational stepping-stones to our self-improvement.

But if the negative gossips are related to a person’s relationships with their family, friends, or jobs, it can be devastating. Relationship problems are already complicated between stakeholders, any unnecessary or unsubstantiated stories can definitely be the last straw. To prevent this type of destruction, I think the best policy is to keep personal life under wraps. Trust none when people say your secret will be safe with them. None will take your secret to their grave! :)
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Rock
YOYO member
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註冊時間: 週三 10月 31, 2007 9:03 am

Re: 8/4 (Tue) Why Do We Gossip? (Host: Sherry)

文章 Rock »

There are two kinds of gossips from my observation. One is unintentional gossip, which is what most of us usually do, and it's just a way of conversation. When people are chatting, it's not likely that the topics are always limited to "you and me"; "others" would be on the list, too. This kind of gossip, most of the time, don' t mean to hurt, even when bad things are mentioned. It's only for conversational fun, nothing else. If I overhear it, I wouldn't care about it at all.

But if someone does it intentionally, then it's another story.
In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock.
Sherry Liao
YOYO member
文章: 1417
註冊時間: 週五 12月 07, 2007 12:15 pm

Re: 8/4 (Tue) Why Do We Gossip? (Host: Sherry)

文章 Sherry Liao »

Janice Wang 寫:
週日 8月 02, 2020 10:18 am
When a person shares something about someone else without one’s permission, it is the start of a gossip. It highly depends on us in what sense to interpret the things we heard through the grapevine. We may think of them as a positive sense of negative. Every gossip, arguably, is an opportunity to find out how someone did something either right or wrong. But usually, the reality comes considering the negative impact on the gossip already in the air.
Agreed. However, sometimes the situation is a bit more complicated, as it takes two or more to gossip. When a gossip starts, everyone has his or her own judgement on the target. But usually, there would be someone in the driving seat steering the conversation. If the conversation turns into a negative gossip, it would be difficult to go against it. The sharing of gossip has put everyone in the same boat, and in my opinions, it happens a lot in the workplace.
Sherry Liao
YOYO member
文章: 1417
註冊時間: 週五 12月 07, 2007 12:15 pm

Re: 8/4 (Tue) Why Do We Gossip? (Host: Sherry)

文章 Sherry Liao »

Iris Wu 寫:
週一 8月 03, 2020 9:38 am
Unfortunately, in the real world, we are more likely to deal with destructive gossips. As said in the proverb,
“People will question all the good things they hear about you but believe all the bad without a second thought." If the back-fence talks are related to our personal traits or ability, we’ll have to reverse our emotional downward spiral and be determined, making these negative gossips as the transformational stepping-stones to our self-improvement.
We usually feel bad when we found we are the center of negative gossip. But come to think of it, it’s a human nature to disparage others, isn't it? People like to “keep up with the Joneses”, that is, we don’t want to be outdone at least by people belonging to the same socioeconomic status group. It's more convenient and effortless to depreciate others, than to improve ourselves. :wink:
Sherry Liao
YOYO member
文章: 1417
註冊時間: 週五 12月 07, 2007 12:15 pm

Re: 8/4 (Tue) Why Do We Gossip? (Host: Sherry)

文章 Sherry Liao »

Rock 寫:
週一 8月 03, 2020 11:39 am
There are two kinds of gossips from my observation. One is unintentional gossip, which is what most of us usually do, and it's just a way of conversation. When people are chatting, it's not likely that the topics are always limited to "you and me"; "others" would be on the list, too. This kind of gossip, most of the time, don' t mean to hurt, even when bad things are mentioned. It's only for conversational fun, nothing else. If I overhear it, I wouldn't care about it at all.

But if someone does it intentionally, then it's another story.
What's the story? I smell gossip... :lol: :lol: :lol: :twisted:
Michael-liu
YOYO member
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註冊時間: 週五 4月 24, 2009 6:09 pm

Re: 8/4 (Tue) Why Do We Gossip? (Host: Sherry)

文章 Michael-liu »

I am wondering whether it is better off to get negative gossip than get no gossip at all.

I mean, if I get negative gossip, it means at least people talk about me, discuss about me. If I get no gossip, it probably means I am too trivial or too boring, so that people never mention me in their chatting. And this would make me feel I don't exist. (沒有存在感)

What do you think? Sherry
Sherry Liao
YOYO member
文章: 1417
註冊時間: 週五 12月 07, 2007 12:15 pm

Re: 8/4 (Tue) Why Do We Gossip? (Host: Sherry)

文章 Sherry Liao »

Michael-liu 寫:
週三 8月 05, 2020 12:14 am
I am wondering whether it is better off to get negative gossip than get no gossip at all.

I mean, if I get negative gossip, it means at least people talk about me, discuss about me. If I get no gossip, it probably means I am too trivial or too boring, so that people never mention me in their chatting. And this would make me feel I don't exist. (沒有存在感)

What do you think? Sherry
I agree with you, Michael. I would be disappointed if nobody talked about me in a group (seriously! :mrgreen: ). It is not always a bad thing to be the center of negative gossip, I would say. If somebody spread harmful rumor about me, it could be that they hated me or simply enjoyed the sense of “schadenfreude”. On the other hand, it was also likely that they thought I was strong enough to be a concern to them, so they had to keep throwing mud at me. :wink:
Sherry Liao
YOYO member
文章: 1417
註冊時間: 週五 12月 07, 2007 12:15 pm

Re: 8/4 (Tue) Why Do We Gossip? (Host: Sherry)

文章 Sherry Liao »

Attendees: Amy, Chris, Cindy, David, Edward, Iris, Jeff, Jennifer, Jerry, Julia, Kat, Lewis, Miller, Ramish, Rosie, Sabrina, Shirley, Steve, Sunny, Wenhan, Sherry (host)
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