1/11(Tue.)How to raise successful kids Host:Liwen

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liwen
YOYO member
文章: 57
註冊時間: 週日 10月 04, 2009 10:20 am

1/11(Tue.)How to raise successful kids Host:Liwen

文章 liwen »

1/11(Tue.)How to raise successful kids
Host:Liwen


Hello, dear yoyos! I am Liwen Chen. I will be the host for the gathering on the Tuesday night and hope you will have a cheerful discussion on this topic.

How to raise successful kids

Every parent wants to raise children who are happy and successful.
But there’s so much parenting advice out there.
Who should you listen to?
And which advice is reliable?
I found a very inspirational speech from TED Talks by Julie Lythcott-Haims. I like Julie’s insightful advice, but also doubt about it. In Taiwan, can parents really raise kids by her ways while society does not work in that way as we all experience?
Let's discuss and share your idea about parenting.
Before discussion, please watch this video below.
How to raise successful kids -- without over-parenting | Julie Lythcott-Haims
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CyElHdaqkjo

Questions:
Session 1

Q1. What kind of parent do you have (authoritative, authoritarian, permissive, uninvolved)?
Do their parenting styles have significant influences on you?
圖檔

Q2. Checklist is much easier to do for most of the parents. I agree on what Julie said in the video, but how height parents need to reach for their kids to be as good as checklist kids? How to do it without checklist?

Q.3 What are some of the long-term consequences of over-parenting?


Session 2

Q.4 I think every parent to some degree struggles, right? Struggles with this balance between over-parenting and then being completely hands off.
How can parents balance being involved in their child’s life without trying to control it?

Q.5 Do grades and school matter? If grades weren’t taken as much into consideration by school, and employers
didn’t care where you got your degree. Would the helicopter parents be decreased?
Should we get rid of standardized entrance examination?

Q.6 There is an audience left her comment: “I wish my parents have pushed me more. They wanted to give me independence. As a result, I screwed up a lot. The hard truth is when you do not push your children, they won’t do anything useful.” Do you agree with her comment? Why or why not?


Agenda:
6:45 ~ 7:00pm Greetings & Free Talk / Ordering Beverage or Meal / Getting Newcomer’s Information
7:00 ~ 7:10pm Opening Remarks / Newcomer’s Self-introduction / Grouping
(Session I)
7:10 ~ 7:50pm Discussion Session (40 mins)
7:50 ~ 8:10pm Summarization (20 mins)
8:10 ~ 8:15pm Regrouping / Instruction Giving / Taking a 10 Minutes Break (Intermission)
(Session II)
8:15 ~ 8:55pm Discussion Session (40 mins)
9:00 ~ 9:20pm Summarization (20 mins)
9:20 ~ 9:30pm Concluding Remarks / Announcements

Meeting Date: As shown on the Subject Line
Meeting Time: 7:00pm – 9:30pm
Meeting Venue: 丹堤咖啡 Dante Coffee (Minimum Order $80)
Address: 台北市濟南路三段25號[MAP]-捷運忠孝新生站3號出口步行3分鐘

Important Notes:
1. We advise participants to print out the discussion questions and bring them to the meeting for reference. As for the supporting articles, feel free to print them out, as well, according to your preference.
2. We suggest that participants read the articles and think about the questions in advance.
3. Newcomers should prepare a two-to-three minute self-introduction in English to deliver when called upon by the host before the start of the discussion. The host may also ask you to give brief feedback about the meeting at the conclusion of the meeting.
4. We conduct the entire meeting in English. All participants should have at least moderate English-conversation skills and be able to articulate your ideas for each discussion question.
5. We welcome newcomers and other guests to attend the meetings and join the discussion freely for three times. After that, we hope you will consider becoming a YoYo English Club member. We charge a NT$1000 lifetime membership fee.
最後由 liwen 於 週二 1月 11, 2022 9:53 am 編輯,總共編輯了 2 次。
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Rock
YOYO member
文章: 2162
註冊時間: 週三 10月 31, 2007 9:03 am

Re: 1/11(Tue.)How to raise successful kids Host:Liwen

文章 Rock »

After watching that TED talk, it's good to know that some American parents are like Taiwanese parents and bonsai their kids, too. I am more confident about humanity now. People do think alike. :lol:
In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock.
Sherry Liao
YOYO member
文章: 1483
註冊時間: 週五 12月 07, 2007 12:15 pm

Re: 1/11(Tue.)How to raise successful kids Host:Liwen

文章 Sherry Liao »

If parents don't try to control their children's lives too much, they will find that children are all very different.

I have three children who all grew up with different temperament styles. My daughter is very self-absorbed and indifferent to her surroundings; on the contrary, the youngest spends a lot of time caring for others since he was a little boy. When relatives or friends visit my place, my daughter would say hello and go back to her room, while her baby brother stays in the living room taking care of other kids.

My daughter has far better grades and academic performance than her two brothers. In fact, my little son is taking his college entrance exam this weekend, and I'm really worried about him. I wouldn't be surprised if my daughter has a higher salary and a better career path in the future than her brothers. But then again, what is the definition of a successful kid?
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Rock
YOYO member
文章: 2162
註冊時間: 週三 10月 31, 2007 9:03 am

Re: 1/11(Tue.)How to raise successful kids Host:Liwen

文章 Rock »

Sherry Liao 寫:
週一 1月 10, 2022 5:20 pm
But then again, what is the definition of a successful kid?
In a parent-child relationship, of course, the definition is a kid full of thankfulness to the parent for bringing them to this world. If it doesn't work, the parent can try to have a dog instead.
In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock.
Luis Ko
YOYO member
文章: 970
註冊時間: 週三 6月 06, 2007 10:18 pm

Re: 1/11(Tue.)How to raise successful kids Host:Liwen

文章 Luis Ko »

Q.6 There is an audience left her comment: “I wish my parents have pushed me more. They wanted to give me independence. As a result, I screwed up a lot. The hard truth is when you do not push your children, they won’t do anything useful.” Do you agree with her comment? Why or why not?

you have got to know what they are. that is as true for your lover as it is for your kids, after being a parent. there's no one size fits all approach to raise a kid, is there? 8)
i might be a cynic and, a sceptic as well but, i'm definitely not a bad person!!
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Rock
YOYO member
文章: 2162
註冊時間: 週三 10月 31, 2007 9:03 am

Re: 1/11(Tue.)How to raise successful kids Host:Liwen

文章 Rock »

Luis Ko 寫:
週一 1月 10, 2022 10:20 pm

you have got to know what they are. that is as true for your lover as it is for your kids...
Fat chance. It's hard to know what your lovers are, and your kids, too; even yourself. :lol:
In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock.
Michael-liu
YOYO member
文章: 708
註冊時間: 週五 4月 24, 2009 6:09 pm

Re: 1/11(Tue.)How to raise successful kids Host:Liwen

文章 Michael-liu »

Rock 寫:
週一 1月 10, 2022 11:37 pm
Luis Ko 寫:
週一 1月 10, 2022 10:20 pm

you have got to know what they are. that is as true for your lover as it is for your kids...
Fat chance. It's hard to know what your lovers are, and your kids, too; even yourself. :lol:
Exactly! Exactly!
Michael-liu
YOYO member
文章: 708
註冊時間: 週五 4月 24, 2009 6:09 pm

Re: 1/11(Tue.)How to raise successful kids Host:Liwen

文章 Michael-liu »

Sherry Liao 寫:
週一 1月 10, 2022 5:20 pm
If parents don't try to control their children's lives too much, they will find that children are all very different.

I have three children who all grew up with different temperament styles. My daughter is very self-absorbed and indifferent to her surroundings; on the contrary, the youngest spends a lot of time caring for others since he was a little boy. When relatives or friends visit my place, my daughter would say hello and go back to her room, while her baby brother stays in the living room taking care of other kids.
Sherry, why you "worry" about your little son's college entrance exam so much? Is it because you also expect him to go to thoese brand name schools, just as this Ted talk speaker said?
Iris Wu
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文章: 894
註冊時間: 週二 5月 20, 2014 4:33 pm

Re: 1/11(Tue.)How to raise successful kids Host:Liwen

文章 Iris Wu »

A couple thoughts in mind…
Every time when assigned to host a YoYo meeting, I knew I had to lead a discussion, but not to over-control it; I knew I needed to simulate some thoughts, but not to overkill it by providing overwhelmed materials. Many times, I felt I failed to deliver.

Meeting may not be a good analogy to a kid, but somewhat similar in that, “they are all your babies”, you thought you could carve/cultivate them into the shape you wanted them to be, just like the bonsai trees, but oftentimes, we could not help asking, with a bit frustration, “Where did these kids get their genes?” :cry:

While sitting in the Vipassana meditation, I had a thought that parents are just a “medium” (channel/tool) for kids to come to the world. They have their genes from “Mother Nature”. They are part of individual “cells” in the universe. Many of our expectations for kids are derived from our own ever-expanding ego and obsession.
Michael-liu
YOYO member
文章: 708
註冊時間: 週五 4月 24, 2009 6:09 pm

Re: 1/11(Tue.)How to raise successful kids Host:Liwen

文章 Michael-liu »

To be frank, all I expect from my daughter is not to become a 太妹 or not have bad influence from friends to take drugs.

If she can go to brand name colleges, sure, I will be very happy and be proud. If not, that is totally fine with me.

You guys may think I am being humble and saying politically correct words. But hell NO, I am telling what I truly think.
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liwen
YOYO member
文章: 57
註冊時間: 週日 10月 04, 2009 10:20 am

Re: 1/11(Tue.)How to raise successful kids Host:Liwen

文章 liwen »

Attendees(12):

Morris, Shirley, Rock, Tashi, Jerry, Iris, Steve, Chris, Sherry, Miller, Wenhan, Liwen(host)

Session 1 speaker:
Iris, Shirley, Morris

Session 2 speaker:
Tashi, Rock, Iris

Thank you for you attending. :) :) :) :)
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