12/12 (Tue.) Married but Divorced? (Host: Tom Lee)

12/12 (Tue.) Married but Divorced? (Host: Tom Lee)

文章Tom Lee » 週一 12月 04, 2017 2:25 pm

Dear Yoyo friends,

First of all, I have to thanks Bella to provide such an interesting topic for us. So it's really not my personal experience.

Welcome to enjoy everybody's sharing during the meeting.



Married but Divorced? Japanese 'Sotsukon' Practice a Growing Trend

A growing number of couples in Japan are "divorcing" in a sense but they are still technically together. Sound confusing?

It's a practice called "sotsukon" and is for couples who are still in love but who decide to live separately in order to fulfill their individual lifelong dreams.

According to a CNN article, the term "sotsukon" was coined in 2004 by Japanese author Yumiko Sugiyama in her book Sotsukon no Susume -- Recommending the Graduation from Marriage.

For example, one couple reportedly chose sotsukon so that the wife could continue her career as a fashion stylist while the husband returned to his boyhood home to become a rice farmer, something they believe they could not do while together.

"He visits me once a month. I visit him for a week at a time, too," the wife said.

Reportedly, wives in Japan request sotsukon more than husbands. What does this mean for the country's already dwindling population?

CBN News' George Thomas recently traveled to Japan for a story about the country's shrinking population.

He reported that Japan's latest census confirmed the population is shrinking and more people are dying than being born.

The country's population stood at 127.1 million last fall, down 0.7 percent from 128.1 million in 2010, according to the results of the 2015 census.

And a recent study shows that the Japanese aren't interested in sex or marriage. A record 50 percent of married couples said they've stopped having sex.

Twenty-one percent of men said they were too tired after work and 23 percent of women said sex was "bothersome."

With that being said, what does the Bible says about marriage?

Genesis 2:23-24 says, "The man said, 'This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called "woman," for she was taken out of man.' For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh."

God created man and then made woman to complement him. Marriage is God's "fix" for the fact that "it is not good for the man to be alone" (Genesis 2:18).

Ephesians 5:22-31 highlights holy matrimony even more.

"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.

"Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.

"In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.

Meanwhile, couples practicing sotsukon say being able to do what they've always wanted to do even before they were married doesn't mean they don't love each other and still want to be a couple.

Article cited from:

林秀姿:日本卒婚風潮 離婚之外的選擇

Session 1:
1. Do you think Sotsukon will become a new trend not only in Japan, but also all around the world?

2. If a married couple think there is "something they believe they could not do while together", why did they choose to get married and live together in the beginning?

3. "A recent study shows that the Japanese aren't interested in sex or marriage. A record 50 percent of married couples said they've stopped having sex."
If this is true, why do you think porn industry will become so vigorous in Japan?

Session 2:
Several months ago, we had a topic regarding to "open marriage". Open marriage typically refers to a marriage in which the partners agree that each may engage in extramarital sexual relationships, without this being regarded as infidelity.


1. What is the difference between open marriage and Sotsukon?

2. Which way do you think it's suitable to Taiwan's society?

6:45 ~ 7:00pm Greetings & Free Talk / Ordering Beverage or Meal / Getting Newcomer’s Information
7:00 ~ 7:10pm Opening Remarks / Newcomer’s Self-introduction / Grouping
(Session I)
7:10 ~ 7:50pm Discussion Session (40 mins)
7:50 ~ 8:10pm Summarization (20 mins)
8:10 ~ 8:25pm Regrouping / Instruction Giving / Taking a 10 Minutes Break (Intermission)
(Session II)
8:25 ~ 9:05pm Discussion Session (40 mins)
9:05 ~ 9:25pm Summarization (20 mins)
9:25 ~ 9:30pm Concluding Remarks / Announcements ********************************************************************************************************************************************
聚會時間:當天請準時於 6:45 pm 到達 ~ 約 9:30 pm 左右結束
地址、電話:台北市濟南路三段25號 (02) 2740-2350
捷運站:板南線 忠孝新生站 3 號出口
走法:出忠孝新生站 3 號出口後,沿著巷子(忠孝東路三段10巷)走約 2 分鐘,到了濟南路口,左轉走約 2 分鐘即可看到。
最低消費: 80 元

1. 文章是否需要列印請自行斟酌,但與會者請務必自行列印 Questions for discussion。
2. 與會者請先閱讀過文章,並仔細想過所有的問題,謝謝合作!

1. 請事先準備 2~3 分鐘的英語自我介紹;會議結束前可能會請你發表 1~2 分鐘的感想。
2. 請事先閱讀文章以及主持人所提的討論問題,並事先寫下自己所欲發表意見的英文。
3. 全程以英語進行,參加者應具備中等英語會話能力,對任一討論問題,能夠以 5 到 10 句英文表達個人見解。
4. 在正式加入之前,可以先來觀摩三次,觀摩者亦須參與討論。正式加入需繳交終身會費 NT$1,000。
Tom Lee
YOYO member
文章: 47
註冊時間: 週三 10月 30, 2013 8:51 pm

Re: 12/12 (Tue.) Married but Divorced? (Host: Tom Lee)

文章Rock » 週二 12月 12, 2017 11:57 am

Hey, this topic is great. You just put me on a dilemma again. :shock:
In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock.
YOYO member
文章: 1888
註冊時間: 週三 10月 31, 2007 9:03 am

Re: 12/12 (Tue.) Married but Divorced? (Host: Tom Lee)

文章wenhan1122 » 週二 12月 12, 2017 5:08 pm

Rock 寫:Hey, this topic is great. You just put me on a dilemma again. :shock:

Why so, Rock? You are experimenting Open Marriage?
The real peace is not merely the absence of warfare, but the presence of justice
Vice President
文章: 164
註冊時間: 週三 8月 20, 2008 3:29 pm

Re: 12/12 (Tue.) Married but Divorced? (Host: Tom Lee)

文章Tom Lee » 週六 12月 16, 2017 12:46 pm

Rock, Iris, Amy, Steve, Lester, Momo, Yvonne, Wen-han, Ryan, David Jr., James, Georgia, Ryu, Alicia, Luis, Lulu, Jason
Tom Lee
YOYO member
文章: 47
註冊時間: 週三 10月 30, 2013 8:51 pm

回到 每週討論主題 Meeting Topics


正在瀏覽這個版面的使用者:沒有註冊會員 和 8 位訪客