4/30 (Sat) How to identify what you enjoy-How to build a happy life (Host: Julia Ho)

[JuliaHo]

Hi all,

Many people believe that health and happiness make a good life. We probably understand what health is but kind of feel uncertain about what exactly happiness is. Happiness is a by-product not a goal. It is so abstract and doesn't come naturally at all time.
Inspired by Stephen’s topic on March 12 about “How to want less”, I listened to the How to Build a Happy Life series totally 8 episodes in The Atlantic podcast. I was intrigued by the theories, scientific discoveries and tools offered to help us live happily. I found them informative and helpful, and choose the last episode, which is quite comprehensive, for our discussion.
Hope everyone would have a happy life!

How to identify what you enjoy
How to build a happy life series-The Atlantic
https://www.theatlantic.com/podcasts/ar ... 21/620787/

In addition to the above link, you may listen to "How to identify what you enjoy/How to build a happy life" from The Atlantic podcast.

Questions for Discussion:

Session 1

1. How much did you know about "happiness"? After listening to the podcast or read the article, do you agree that three macronutrients to happiness are enjoyment, satisfaction, and purpose? Why or why not?

2. What really brings you enjoyment? Do you agree that we not only find it challenging to make time for day-to-day enjoyment, but also struggle to identify what it should feel like?

3. The expert finds that enjoyment is pleasure plus elevation. When we learn something about the sources of our pleasures, it turns into authentic enjoyment, which is a part of a happy life. Do you agree with that? Can you share with us some experiences?

4. The professional mentioned that when addressing enjoyment, besides certain solitary enjoyments (reading books, etc.), connection and love are where the enjoyment come from. Do you agree? Do you think a person can still have a happy life with very limited connection or without loving anyone and be loved by anyone?


Session 2

1. According to the experts, satisfaction is the reward when you meet a goal. The secret to enduring satisfaction is not to have what we want, but to want what we have. The satisficer is one who wants what she/he has, and the maximizer is the one who is always chasing, trying to have what she/he wants. Are you a satisficer, or are you a maximizer in terms of jobs, buying habits or relationship?

2. Do you agree that if we don’t suffer, if we don’t have pain, if we don’t come to terms with having a life that’s fully alive with the good and the bad, we can’t actually get enough meaning and purpose in our lives?

3. The expert mentioned “if we mute the pain, we mute the joy”. Have you ever numbed your feelings —like, Oh, it’s not a big deal because I have a roof over my head and food on the table—that the sadness, the anxiety, this insomnia, whatever it is, is okay? Do you agree that when talking about meaning and purpose of life, it’s important to notice our feelings and to welcome and embrace our feelings? Do you have a habit to sense your feelings?

4. Do you agree that if people are protecting themselves the whole time they didn’t really engage in life and are not fully alive? Do you agree that people, who think they protected themselves, end up feeling unsatisfied, empty and lonely? Can you share with us some experiences?


Agenda:
3:45 ~ 4:00pm Greetings & Free Talk / Ordering Beverage or Meal / Getting Newcomer’s Information
4:00 ~ 4:10pm Opening Remarks / Newcomer’s Self-introduction / Grouping
(Session I)
4:10 ~ 4:50pm Discussion Session (40 mins)
4:50 ~ 5:10pm Summarization (20 mins)
5:10 ~ 5:15pm Regrouping / Instruction Giving / Taking a 10 Minutes Break (Intermission)
(Session II)
5:15 ~ 5:55pm Discussion Session (40 mins)
6:00 ~ 6:20pm Summarization (20 mins)
6:20 ~ 6:30pm Concluding Remarks / Announcements

Meeting Date: As shown on the Subject Line
Meeting Time: 4:00pm – 6:30pm

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Link: https://us06web.zoom.us/j/88548972682...
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[Michael-liu]

Bring it to the top

[JuliaHo]

We spend time learning languages, knowledge and time-management to make better version of ourselves. We rarely think it's imperative to spend some time to uncover the wisdom and skills necessary for building a happier life.

[Janice Wang]

Everyone desires to be happy. Happiness is probably the most pursued well-being & fulfillment in life. What is the catch? Perhaps, the catch is that there is no one-size-fits-all definition or guidance and the perspective of happiness varies from person to person. Besides, it is one of the most difficult aspects of life to measure and quantify; also tough to observe from a person based on social interactions. For those who are happy campers, “happiness” seem to be at their fingertips! However, for the majority , happiness might be in details that often derived from channeling thoughts to positive thinking! To experience “happiness”, one must realize that he/she lives up to the hilt.

I don’t spend much time thinking about my happiness. It is what it is. Color me surprised, I don’t have the insatiable demands over happiness, no less! Presumably,I am pretty satisfied with my everyday life. Besides, I feel the happiest when “having fun”. I have a lot of mileages and fond memories of it. It’s sort of my strong suit and I am good at infusing “fun” into things I am doing or friends I am with. Listening to the episode that the host picked is hilarious to me. It gave me a jolt of recognition: I am a genuine “maximizer!” It‘s no wonder that I turned my back on Stephen’s session —“How to want less” as I still strive to be a “maximizer”. I am not ready to call it quits yet. To put it in perspective, it is exciting to know that there is a possibility in for a surprise to convert myself from a maximizer to a satisfier down the road!

Many of the greatest minds have tackled the subject of happiness, and far more happiness-related quotations have resonated with us. In my opinion, enjoyment, satisfaction, and purpose are all keys to happiness. However, without a seedbed to cultivate something (ie. goal, interest, relationship, or hobby..etc) those 3 macronutrients are futile! I believe that happiness is not a gift, nor a given right, not to mention it won’t cascade automatically down on us! As we all know, when life takes its ordinary course, it is hard to remember what really matters. Luckily, if something positive happens to us, we become happy. The other way around, are we able to weather those adversities or challenges head on? That is how I would like to pivot my life with the applications of happiness!!

[Kooper]

It is difficult to answer the 3rd question because the idea that enjoyment is pleasure plus elevation was only mentioned once in this episode, without much explanation. We probably need to listen to previous episodes to understand what elevation means here.

[Kooper]

Another thing that confuses me is the different terms being used when the host and the guest of the podcast were talking about the topic of happiness – happiness, enjoyment, pleasure, joy, and having fun. What are their definition each? I'm not sure, but here is my best shot.

- Having fun is doing things that brings us joy and pleasure.
- Having fun focuses on the action while joy and pleasure are the positive feelings or emotions that we get from taking the action. Joy and pleasure, from my personal understanding, seem to be different names of the same thing and can be used interchangeably.
- According to the host, enjoyment is pleasure - or joy by my understanding - plus elevation. I however have no idea what elevation means here. Hopefully Julia could help shed some light in today’s meeting.
- Enjoyment is one of the ingredients to happiness.
- Both the host and the guess emphasized that happiness is neither a feeling nor an emotion. I guess happiness is a lasting mental state?

[JuliaHo]

If playing guitar gives us great pleasure, the more we practice the better skills we have, which is the source of happiness under the category of enjoyment.

For some terms, such as joy and pleasure, I agree with Kooper that they are used interchangeably during the interview.

[Michael-liu]

Janice,

Today in the discussion of my table, we mentioned about your comment. We learned an idiom from your post, haha:)

Color me surprised/confused/embarrassed etc

American English spoken informal
used to say that you are very surprised, confused etc by something.