12/17 (Sat.) 2022 Review & How our belief/thoughts affect our feelings and behaviors (Host: Mandy)

[mandy chen]

Hi yoyoers

Time flies! It’s the last month of 2022. 2022 is an unforgettable journey for me. What about you?
In session 1, lets take some time to review our 2022 and look forward to 2023.
In session 2, we can discuss about "How our belief/thoughts affect our feelings and behaviors"

Session1 2022 Review

1. Have you reached any difficult/special/meaningful goals this year? For example, get a new job,start a new relationship, lose weights…etc. What did this mean to you? Please share with us.
2. Please choose an English word/a picture/stuff which represent your 2022. Why did you choose this picture/word/stuff? What does this mean to you? Please share your story with us. (Note: Welcome to bring your meaningful picture or stuff to the meeting )
3. What is the most difficult challenge you encountered this year? How did you face/deal with this challenge?
4. What are your goals for 2023? Why you set these goals? What are your plans to reach your goals?


Session 2 How our belief/thoughts affect our feelings and behaviors

Below are the article and video for reference:

https://www.simplypsychology.org/cognitive-therapy.html

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YJnZBm6Y51Y

According to the article, many negative feelings come from the ''thought''. In cognitive behavioral therapy, the thought can determine our feelings and our behavior. A famous ''ABC model'' proposed by Albert Ellis, a well-known psychologist, "it is not the activating event (A) that causes negative emotional and behavioral consequences (C), but rather that a person interprets these events unrealistically and therefore has an irrational belief system (B) that helps cause the consequences (C)." Ellis further proposed a model called "ABCDE model''(you can watch the video for reference) , which add two elements:
''D'' represents ''Dispute'', which means dispute your irrational beliefs.
''E'' represents “Effect”, which means the modified belief lead to the different effects.

Use an example to explain the ABCDE model:

A(Activating Event): I failed an important exam.
B(Irrational Belief): I made a lot efforts, but the results proved that I am a failure. I had no other choices.
C(Consequence): Stuck in the negative emotions, and kept blaming yourself.
D(Dispute): Why you failed the exam equals you are a failure? Did you learn something through this process? Do you have other choices?
E(Effect): Although I failed this time, it didn't mean I am a failure, at least I tried my best through the process, and I can also try other choices. Maybe "When God closes a door, he must open another window" for me.


In the ABCDE model, I think "Dispute" technique is an useful skill to ask yourself when you experience some negative emotions.Today, we are not investigating the psychology theory, but share your experience/opinions regarding how our belief/thoughts affect our feelings and our behaviors.

1. Have you heard the ABC model or even the ABCDE model before? Have you ever applied it to your life?
2. How do you usually get along with you your negative feelings?Do you believe many negative feelings come from our belief or thoughts? Why?
3. According to Ellis, many irrational belief origins from the important people in our childhood. Have you thought where your irrational belief come from? It's from your previous experience or others' expectation?
4. Have you ever encountered a challenge/frustrating situation, and you changed your belief/thought to see the difference? Please share your experience with us.
5. According to the article, there are some common cognitive distortions, such as arbitrary interference and magnification. For example, A person failed an important exam and thought he doomed to be a failure. This is also common in our daily life. For example, the news only used one incident to infer a conclusion or exaggerate the fact. Please share your experience/opinions with us.

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Agenda:
3:50 ~ 4:00pm Greetings & Free Talk / Ordering Beverage or Meal / Getting Newcomer’s Information
4:00 ~ 4:10pm Opening Remarks / Newcomer’s Self-introduction / Grouping
(Session I)
4:10 ~ 4:50pm Small Group Discussion (40 mins)
4:50 ~ 5:10pm Summarization (20 mins)
5:10 ~ 5:20pm Regrouping & Break
(Session II)
5:20 ~ 6:00pm Small Group Discussion (40 mins)
6:00 ~ 6:20pm Summarization (20 mins)
6:20 ~ 6:30pm Concluding Remarks

On-site meeting:
Meeting Venue: 丹堤咖啡 Dante Coffee (Minimum Order $80)
Address: 台北市濟南路三段25號[MAP]-捷運忠孝新生站3號出口步行3分鐘

Online meeting:
Zoom meeting ID: 875 5256 1813
Password: loveyoyo
Link: https://tinyurl.com/yoyobest


Important Notes:
1. We advise participants to print out the discussion questions and bring them to the meeting for reference. As for the supporting articles, feel free to print them out, as well, according to your preference.
2. We suggest that participants read the articles and think about the questions in advance.
3. Newcomers should prepare a two-to-three minute self-introduction in English to deliver when called upon by the host before the start of the discussion. The host may also ask you to give brief feedback about the meeting at the conclusion of the meeting.
4. We conduct the entire meeting in English. All participants should have at least moderate English-conversation skills and be able to articulate your ideas for each discussion question.
5. We welcome newcomers and other guests to attend the meetings and join the discussion freely for twice (including on-site and online meetings). After that, we hope you will consider becoming a YoYo English Club member. We charge a NT$1500 lifetime membership fee.

[Kooper]

Let me share two personal examples of negative outcome that fit the ABC model in cognitive behavior therapy (CBT).

When it comes to organizing a group hike, two scenarios could strike me adversely: If too many people sign up or too many wild cards exist, I can’t help but feel anxious and stressed; on the other hand, I feel sad when very few people respond to a hiking event I am holding.

In both cases, the activating event (A) is either a too high or too low turnout for a group hike I am organizing, and the consequences (C) are negative feelings that haunt me. What are the beliefs (B) that lead to these unpleasant emotions? On reflection, there are two underlying beliefs that seem irrational; the first one is the thought that I must hold a perfect hiking event, or my friends would think less of me; the second misconception is that I am a boring person so people don’t come in.

In response to the negative emotions, I decided to put some distance between myself and the sources of anxiety or self-doubt and organize fewer hikes. That obviously isn't an ideal solution and could not solve the problem once and for all, according to the theory of ABC model.

Surprisingly, my anecdote could also make a case against CBT. One of the criticisms of CBT is that faulty cognitions could a consequence, rather than a cause, of these psychological problems. In my case, I didn't hold the two negative thoughts in the earlier hikes. They just began to take hold over the past two years.

[mandy chen]

Let me share two personal examples of negative outcome that fit the ABC model in cognitive behavior therapy (CBT).

When it comes to organizing a group hike, two scenarios could strike me adversely: If too many people sign up or too many wild cards exist, I can’t help but feel anxious and stressed; on the other hand, I feel sad when very few people respond to a hiking event I am holding.

In both cases, the activating event (A) is either a too high or too low turnout for a group hike I am organizing, and the consequences (C) are negative feelings that haunt me. What are the beliefs (B) that lead to these unpleasant emotions? On reflection, there are two underlying beliefs that seem irrational; the first one is the thought that I must hold a perfect hiking event, or my friends would think less of me; the second misconception is that I am a boring person so people don’t come in.

In response to the negative emotions, I decided to put some distance between myself and the sources of anxiety or self-doubt and organize fewer hikes. That obviously isn't an ideal solution and could not solve the problem once and for all, according to the theory of ABC model.

Surprisingly, my anecdote could also make a case against CBT. One of the criticisms of CBT is that faulty cognitions could a consequence, rather than a cause, of these psychological problems. In my case, I didn't hold the two negative thoughts in the earlier hikes. They just began to take hold over the past two years.

Thanks you Kooper for sharing your examples! I also agree sometimes cognition can be the consequence. There are different arguments regarding the cause-effect between thought,emotion and behaviors. However, I believe three of them have interactions in most cases.
BTW I can understand your feelings toward hiking event arrangement, is really not an easy job! Thank you for your efforts.