12/17 (Tue.):Being Yourself Ruins Your Life? (Host: Iris)

[Iris Wu]

Can anyone truly be their authentic self in every situation? I’ve long been puzzled by the advice, “Just Be Yourself!” While countless self-help tips promote this super comforting idea, I’ve always found the concept challenging.

In the first video, the speaker shared a compelling perspective: being yourself isn’t always beneficial. He argued that, as humans, we seek social acceptance, and we also don’t settle for lesser versions of ourselves—we are constantly striving to become something better.

What drives this motivation for growth? And how can we achieve a better version of ourselves without compromising our authenticity and our desire for social acceptance?

The famous book The Courage to Be Disliked, based on psychologist Alfred Adler’s Individual Psychology, seems to offer practical approaches to these dilemmas. The second video provided a concise summary of the book and Adler’s theory. I hope we can have fun sharing and discussing in the meeting.

Reference Materials
• YouTube: Being Yourself Ruins Your Life (12 min) • YouTube: The courage to be disliked | Deny the desire for recognition and free yourself (11 min)
Session I: Why Being Yourself Ruins Your Life?
Q1: What messages do people try to convey when they give or receive advice: “Just be yourself”? In what situations would you offer this advice to others or apply it to yourself?

Q2: According to the speaker, what are the potential pitfalls of this advice? Why might “being yourself” ruin your life?

Q3: Which would bring you greater self-satisfaction: staying true to yourself or loving yourself enough to grow into something more?

Session II: Adler’s Individual Psychology—The Courage to Be Disliked and the Wisdom to Break Free from Our Past and Society’s Influence

Q1: Why do we need “the courage to be disliked”? What ultimate goals are we striving for when adopting this mindset?

Q2: If constantly seeking approval and recognition is the source of unhappiness, what practical methods can help us break free from society’s chains (these societal pressures)?

Q3: What kind of courage is needed to be the YoYo President? What discourages us from taking on the role?

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Agenda:
6:45 ~ 7:00pm Greetings & Free Talk / Ordering Beverage or Meal / Getting Newcomer’s Information
7:00 ~ 7:10pm Opening Remarks / Newcomer’s Self-introduction / Grouping
(Session I)
7:10 ~ 7:45pm Discussion Session (35 mins)
7:45 ~ 8:00pm Summarization (15 mins)
8:00 ~ 8:05pm Regrouping / Instruction Giving / Taking a 5 Minutes Break (Intermission)
(Session II)
8:05 ~ 8:40pm Discussion Session (35 mins)
8:40 ~ 8:55pm Summarization (15 mins)
8:55 ~ 9:00pm Concluding Remarks / Announcements

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Meeting Date: As shown on the Subject Line
Meeting Time: 7:00pm – 9:00pm
Meeting Venue: 丹堤咖啡 Dante Coffee (Minimum Order $85)
Address: 台北市濟南路三段25號[MAP]-捷運忠孝新生站3號出口步行3分鐘

Important Notes:
1. We suggest that participants read the articles and think about the questions in advance.
2. Newcomers should prepare a two-to-three-minute self-introduction in English to deliver when called upon by the host before the start of the discussion.
3. We welcome newcomers and other guests to attend the meetings and join the discussion freely for three times. After that, we hope you will consider becoming a YoYo English Club member. We charge a NT$1000 lifetime membership fee, or NT$500 for students.

[Luis Ko]

the first video sounds like a fallacy to me. it seems meaningful but, somehow twists the meaning of "just be yourself" i would say, though i have yet to figure out how to counter the idea. It just doesn't sound right. it's like some others who misunderstand "just be yourself" as an excuse for their behavior. anyway, hope i will know how to say it in the discussion lo~

[miller]

Move to the top.

[Iris Wu]

the first video sounds like a fallacy to me. it seems meaningful but, somehow twists the meaning of "just be yourself" i would say, though i have yet to figure out how to counter the idea. It just doesn't sound right. it's like some others who misunderstand "just be yourself" as an excuse for their behavior. anyway, hope i will know how to say it in the discussion lo~

When it comes to this type of advice or self-help tip, it’s easy to counter the arguments from either side. This is because the advice has a surface-level appeal but also carries many other implications.

For example, the face value of advice like “Follow your dream” or “Do what feels right” is literally and simply to pursue what you want or what feels right to you. However, such advice often assumes many unspoken conditions, such as your dream being “good,” “achievable,” or “actionable.” To counter the advice, one can always question these unspoken assumptions, as the first video speaker did. But to counter the counter-advice, I mean, to challenge the opposing advice of the speaker, that's what we would like to hear in this meeting.

[Luis Ko]

the first video sounds like a fallacy to me. it seems meaningful but, somehow twists the meaning of "just be yourself" i would say, though i have yet to figure out how to counter the idea. It just doesn't sound right. it's like some others who misunderstand "just be yourself" as an excuse for their behavior. anyway, hope i will know how to say it in the discussion lo~

When it comes to this type of advice or self-help tip, it’s easy to counter the arguments from either side. This is because the advice has a surface-level appeal but also carries many other implications.

For example, the face value of advice like “Follow your dream” or “Do what feels right” is literally and simply to pursue what you want or what feels right to you. However, such advice often assumes many unspoken conditions, such as your dream being “good,” “achievable,” or “actionable.” To counter the advice, one can always question these unspoken assumptions, as the first video speaker did. But to counter the counter-advice, I mean, to challenge the opposing advice of the speaker, that's what we would like to hear in this meeting.

i don't quite get it. what does "challenge the opposing advice of the speaker" mean??